Life..or something like it

Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.

2011-08-16T09:40:00.002-05:00

*dreamy look*
Anyone who knows me...and probably some who don't know who this is.
Technically....I don't even consider him a crush anymore...it was a crush in 1991(when he was in that Paula Abdul video for "rush rush")..now, we have an understanding...I'm his soulmate and if we ever met..it would be so on! :)
I love this man..LOVE and not in that creepy superfan way. It's more of a one-sided friendship (only because we haven't met).
I think we would hit it off very well if we met.
My celebrity crush is none other than the amazing human being that is Keanu Reeves!

Oh Keanu...how do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
I love thee with long hair..I love thee with short
I love thee when you grow a beard..I love thee when you're not
I love thee in the movies...I love thee in real life
I love thee when noone else thinks you're a good actor
I just love thee a lot!

I'm going to just leave it there...because I feel like it's getting to a creeptastic level and I don't want to chance him reading this before we meet and deciding that I'm a creeper..which i clearly am not! (-_-)

I STILL have this picture hanging in my room in my parents house! :o

Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.

2011-08-15T21:30:00.000-05:00

My cellphone!
Not for nothing...I'm not a serial texter and it's not a Crackberry..THANK GOD! But...it's so bad...even going to the bathroom...:( I need help!

Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to

2011-08-14T21:25:00.000-05:00

Addiction is a funny thing...there is nothing i'm ADDICTED to but my shows are..
1. True Blood...mmmmmmmmmm vampire Eric and werewolf Alcide! it's like a yummy yummy treat every sunday! Well..monday for me cuz i watches it illegally on the interwebz :)

2. Rookie Blue...ok..y'all are sleeping on this show! it is soo good..predictable cop show! LOVE!

Trust me! Watch rookie blue..nbcs on thursday at 10pm eastern..the peacock never lies!

Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?

2011-08-13T21:22:00.000-05:00

Aaaaah!!!....I missed 2 days...*deep breaths!*
What had happened was...:) I didn't have internet!

Ok...Favorite musician...hmm...can it be a band?
I love, love. love Nickelback! First concert I ever went to...Have all their CDs...I love Chad Kroeger's voice! I love Ryan Peake's voice! I love the acoustic version of all their songs...I just love them! LOVE THEM!......LOVE! :)

et viola..there you have it!

Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.

2011-08-12T22:03:00.000-05:00

Day 11- What's in my makeup bag

2011-08-11T23:48:00.000-05:00

Thought I wasn't gon make it huh!! Well too bad....I snuck in under the cut real slick-like!
I gotta tell y'all...I feel very exhilarated...I just watched the final episode of Avatar: the last Airbender for the umpteenth time...while doing my work and I made significant progress! So thanks Aang!

Ok...my makeup bag (for my purse)...I have a picture here:

I have:

1. Tissue (cuz I'm a crier)

2. Tide to go pen (cuz you never know when you'll be lined up for inspection with a stain and a drill sergeant screaming at you)

3. Toothpaste (I dunno why I have that..I don't even carry a toothbrush)

4. Into the Wild body spray (cuz you gots to have your smell goods)

5. Coconut and Mango hand lotion (keeps the ash at bay and makes you smell edible -_-)

6. Carmex (SPF15)..(cuz lips are skin too and they need protection from the sun)

7. C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint (cuz it tastes minty and tingles)

8. M.A.C. Lipglass (cuz I dunno...i rarely use it..it's kinda sticky)

9. E.L.F Matte Lipstick in praline (cuz it has a pretty pink tint)

10. M.A.C. Pressed powder (like MPB says..sometimes as the day progresses my face looks like you can fry plantain on it)

11. Powder Brush

Et viola... zat is all...i'm not a big mussy fussy person!
See y'all tomorrow by God's grace!

Day 10: A photo of your favorite place to eat

2011-08-10T22:11:00.000-05:00

Aight...being the foodie that I am...it's going to be favorite placeS!! :D

OMG..before i start can i share a blonde moment with y'all? ....like..you can totally judge me because I side-eyed my damn self all the way home today!
So for the last couple of days, I've noticed that my A/C in my care wasn't really working. And it's been getting progressively bad...not unbearable but it was getting there..and I was all ready to shell out money to get it fixed. Why oh blogsville did i finally check today and the little button you push to turn on the A/C wasn't pushed in?....Like I'm sure it's been weeks since it hasn't been on..just blowing warm air in my face and I was all grinning and bearing it? Wow!

Anyhoo...on to food!
Ok...I picked five of my favorite places to eat and they are mostly in the DMV area..

1. Minato Sushi...they have really good happy hours everyday from like 4-7..you can get sushi for like $3.25 and mango martinis for $4-ish i think...cheap & yummy.

2. Sticky Rice...also sushi..only been there once..a bit more pricey than the other place but the rolls are ginormous!...like one of the rolls is called the Godzirra...and for good reason...
ps: i'm a fake sushi eater...haven't progressed to the raw stuff yet..maybe next year :)

3. Akbar Restaurant: Indian food = yummy food...service is slow but I dream about the food for days after!..ooh oohh...and once, i saw this dude from Food Network..you know the smart guy from Ace of Cakes...the skinny little guy with the beard? I was like...cool!!

4. Yo-Cake: I'm a cupcake aficionado...I will try any cupcake when I see it..preferably red velvet. Yo-cake makes IMHO the best red velvet cupcakes I've ever had...like ever. And they sell frozen yogurt too..so you can get your cupcake topped with any flavor of frozen yogurt..mmmmmm....delicious.

5. Sonic Drive-in: Can you say...Medium Strawberry Slush with extra strawberries! Best thing Ever!! Their food is surprisingly good too!

That's all i got for today! Y'all be safe!

Day 9: A photo of the item(s) you last purchased

2011-08-09T23:34:00.000-05:00

The last item(s) i purchased....

Book 2 and 3 of the Hunger Games Trilogy (for my uncle..because I am hellbent on everybody and their uncle reading these books!)...He read the 1st one last month and I'm not going to lend him my kindle to read the other two...so I got them for him from Amazon.

PS...if you have not read the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins...erm..you NEED to!! you absolutely HAVE to..best books I've read all year..I guarantee you will love and finish it in record time..or your money back!! (unless you dont like books like that then..NO REFUNDS PLEASE!)

I also got a Heart Rate Monitor Watch and the little chest strap that goes around your midsection...apparently I've been underestimating my calories burned! Hot Dog! :)

Day 8 – A song to match your mood

2011-08-08T22:13:00.000-05:00

All American Rejects
Move Along

Happy Monday!
I love this song because it's upbeat but it also has a really good message..especially I think for Mondays.
I dunno about y'all but Mondays are usually very blah for me...i feel drained and I don't feel like doing anything.
Just.Keep.Moving.One.Step.After.Another...and before you know it...you've done it!

Day 7 – Your dream wedding

2011-08-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

Wooohooo..day 7 and going strong!
Actually, I was about to go crash...this weekend flew by damn it!

Aight..dream wedding.
Ideally, my dream wedding would be one that I do absolutely all of the planning and none of the leg work...like literally...say "this is what I want" and somebody else does it and I show up on the wedding day and BAM! perfection....all I want to do is:
1. Buy my dress
2. Taste the Cake
3. Preview the music
4. Taste the food

However, I can give you guys a more realistic version of my dream wedding....
I want the wedding to be a huge party...from the church to the reception to the afterparty.

I want an extended praise and worship session during the church service
I want the reception hall to be beautifully decorated
I want to have a separate room for the younger kids to go hang out..with babysitters and games and movies and bouncy houses and food and little beds for them to nap in when they get tired
I want the reception hall to be in the same hotel as the hotel for guests so people don't have to drive
I want an open bar
I want the cake to be moist and delicious with tasty icing (not that bitter icing or fondant stuff)
I want the food to be perfect
I want the DJ to be on point with the perfect mix of naija and non naija music
I want my shoes to be perfect as well so that I can dance the whole night without feeling any pain
I want waterproof mascara..cuz I'm already an emotional human being...of course I'm going to cry buckets...

Err...that is all
Ooh..ooh...I want Collins Metu to be my photographer and I want my wedding video to be like a movie...

Adieu

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet

2011-08-06T22:06:00.000-05:00

Hi y'all,
Day six and going strong!
Me being the conventional person that I am...the only animal i would love as a pet...and am damn sure going to have...someday is this cute little bundle of cuteness right here!

It's a PUG mixed with a BEAGLE....isn't it just the cuuutteessst thing ever!!! look at it's little squishy face!! :D

I want a medium sized dog cuz i think big dogs are too big and little dogs are too small...so I think a Puggle would be just right!

Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.

2011-08-05T21:33:00.000-05:00

Why is this challenge thingie obsessed with pictures?

Luckily...the picture I posted for the first day was from 2009!....

Nothing to see here tonight folks....

It's friday and my old bones are tired...

You young folks have a good night...

Crazy Stupid Love was awesome! Y'all should go see it!

Day 4 - Your favorite photo of your best friend

2011-08-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

Shiznit! I almost missed it...I think technically I did cuz it's 12:04am...but the blog will post it as yesterday..Yippeee...

Soooooo I was thinking about this Day 4 stuff for a long time...and I was going to go into the whole spiel about how I don't have best friends because it puts too much pressure on people to fulfill this "all in all" idea and when they fall short..which they will because we are human..then everybody gets hurt.
I dont have many friends...and I only have a handful of close friends.

In retrospect,I guess I had two really close best-ish friends...what happened? Dunno...life I guess..ppl change and move away and get married and friendships evolve...

The good thing about a true friend is that even if you don't see or talk to them for a while...at least in my case...I think about them everyday and I always send good thoughts their way and pray for them. And if they ever needed me...I'd be there in a heartbeat..in whatever capacity I can...and I hope they know that.

I'm not posting anyone's pictures cuz um...I dont wanna put them all out there...this blog did start off as "anonymous-y" :p

But here are pictures that remind me of my "besties"

Gnite Folks!

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date

2011-08-03T22:31:00.000-05:00

Let's do this!

My idea of the perfect first date....this is hard because I don't want it to come off as cliche..but I don't think the 1st date should involve too much...it's nerve-wracking enough to go out with someone you are just getting to know, keeping in mind that you are possibly open to being in a serious relationship with the person.

Me I kuku don't like all the fancy smancy wine and dine stuff. But I would love on a first date to do something I've never done before..not only does experiencing something new together create a bond, it also makes you less nervous i think.

Ok...perfect 1st date I've been on....

A couple of days before the date...he sent me a dozen red roses...that was a nice touch and I was all nervous and excited!

Rode the train into Manhattan to see The Lion King on Broadway which was amazing!

Next,we went to this like park (not central park) ..i forget the name of the area and i'm too lazy to look it up..but it was a short walk away from the show...*you know that place in something borrowed where Rachel and Ethan meet for lunch?(if they really shot the movie in New York)..yeah that place*...and we just talked and people watched for a couple of hours.

Then, we had dinner...as much as i love food...i don't even remember where or what...but there was no pressure...no nervousness..it was like catching up with an old friend.
Rode the train back..and talked some more

And then we both went our separate ways..never saw each other again..:D

I was thinking of what I would do to plan a perfect 1st date..and I just plain blanked...mehn...dudes y'all have it hard oh...any ideas?

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today

2011-08-02T22:16:00.000-05:00


Turkey bacon biscuit and almond milk

Day 2 y'all...i'll keep it short and sweet...I downloaded this iCookbook App on my phone and it had this super easy recipe for turkey bacon biscuits for breakfast. So I made a bunch on Sunday and kept it in the fridge.

In the morning, I heat it up in the microwave for 19seconds... Add a glass of vanilla almond milk and I'm good to go! :)

Here's the recipe in case anyone is interested. I use Grands Honey Butter Biscuits because they are amazing!...and low fat cream cheese...yum!

Day 1: 30 Day Challenge

2011-08-01T22:58:00.001-05:00

A photo of myself...et viola


Throwback to 2009! I miss braids!

And...a description of how my day was...

I woke up at 6:30...and snoozed for an hour! Lol...that's what i get for sleeping late.

Got out of bed at 7:30

Bathroom

Weighed myself...pleasantly surprised...but I think my scale is a liar..we like lies :)

Drank a glass of water

Took a shower

Got dressed

Packed my bags..and my lunch (curry chicken salad sandwich, carrots, a clementine and chocolate pudding)

Went to Food Lion to find this cereal that allegedly has 14g of fiber and no sugar and no sodium...I think it's like a unicorn..cuz clearly it DOES not exist! Hmpfff!

Bought gas at Exxon: $12.01..damn it!..i hate when it's not a complete number! I almost went up to $13, but I buy gas on thursdays..from Shell when it's $0.05 off and i can use my card to get an extra $0.10 off...I'm trying to stick it to the man..one gallon at a time!

Got to work at 10am..put my 10%APS on ice to thaw...

Went to pick up some compounds from this dude..at 11am, and I was on time too! Trying not to perpetrate the whole CPT thing and the dude shows up freaking 30minutes late...smh!! I was going to get mad but he was doing me a favor so...whatever!

Set up my experiment...messed up and loaded the wrong samples...ARRGGHH!!!...but it was actually a blessing in disguise cuz it didnt work and I didnt waste too much of my samples

Had lunch with my lab buddy

Finished up my experiment

Checked emails..went to INO, YBF and Ideeli...bought nothing! Yay me! :D

Facebook stalked

Had a discussion with lab folk about how most hero/villan movies are similar (it all started with someone comparing Harry Potter to Star Wars and the know-it-all saying that most movies/books have the same plot but not being able to give anymore examples *sideeye*..there's a back story but like just shut up! SHUT UP..you dont have to contribute to every conversation!! SHUT THE HELL UP!) :)..wooosah y'all!

Went to a 6pm spinning class...fun fun!

Talked myself into letting someone teach me how to swim (I know y'all! I know..it's my secret shame! I figure if I talk about it enough then I really have to do it!)

Walked to the shuttle with my lab buddy, dropped her off...drove home.

Stopped by a gazillion stores (ok 2..and one was closed) to find the fabled cereal! Clearly, it does not exist!..except on Amazon.

Took a shower

Had dinner...Coconut Curry Beef with white rice....yum-o! I slow cooked it myself yesterday (Top chef up in this piece :)..)

Had left over chocolate cake! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate!

Watched the Bachelorette finale..(ugh! that Ashley)/Master Chef (ugh! that Chris)

Watched True Blood (meh..i like last week's episode better Alan Ball...you messed up the Sookie and Eric hookup...boooooo!)

Messed around on the internet and stumbled upon the 30 day blog challenge

Wrote my Day 1 blog! :)

In summary, my day was tiring and long and it feels like Friday...but I'm bout to go to bed...and hope tomorrow goes much more smoothly!

Gnite y'all!

Smiley Face

2011-08-01T22:17:00.001-05:00

Mehn...this year surely flew by! I cant believe I haven't been here in a while....I really have no excuse...just been busy with life i guess. When things get overwhelming I tend to cut out a lot of things that I think i can live without...but...I'm trying to be good..I found this 30 day blogging challenge on Scandalous Beauty...And I'm going to try it..Eeek...i have only 44 minutes before day one is over!!! So I gotta go!!

Hey folks...hi purplebrain!

Here’s the 30 day list, join in if you’d like!

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently. A letter to someone who broke my heart.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of youself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

Post-quarter life crisis?

2011-04-07T00:34:00.000-05:00

*Rant alert!*

On the eve of the beginning of my 28th year on this earth, I was quietly reflecting the meaning of life....well not really.
Ok..so..I'm sitting here, reading a review paper for a tutorial session on mathematical modeling and apoptosis (yeah..i rolled my eyes too) and it starts off really heavy and is difficult to understand, but as I continue reading, it gets easier and almost enjoyable.

In 27 years, I've learned about myself that I enjoy learning especially about science...and I enjoy thinking about it and sometimes obsessing about it. It's like a game...trying to figure out how things work...in order to figure out how to fix it when it doesn't work as it should.

But...it's as frustrating as it is enjoyable because I feel like the more I learn, they more I realize how much more I have to learn and the prospect of being able to learn enough is really daunting.
So I'm reading the paper and I'm thinking about my particular area of interest and how it relates to apoptosis and I'm thinking about my project and I'm slowly getting frustrated and feeling like if i deviate from what I think is my focus, I'll get too distracted and I'll never be done with school...

And then I remember being at the airport yesterday watching war veterans returning from Afghanistan...most of them younger than me...some older. And I'm thinking about those that don't get to make it back....and their families. And how regardless of the reasons behind their joining the military...the only reasons why there is a war and why the need to be over there in the first place is through no direct fault of theirs.

They're out there fighting a war for people like our senators and representatives who feel it's their right to sit in their houses that we pay for and dictate what a woman does with her body.. whether or not I can own a house..whether or not people who work for a living can afford to save money to retire..whether or not people who lost their job due to the economic downturn that was more than likely helped by this parasitic war get to have health insurance...whether or not you have to wait until you are 70.5 to withdraw money from your 401k...those people.

They're out there fighting those people who clearly...CLEARLY are reincarnations of whatever god they believe in and perfect and pure and devoid of any wrongdoings get to decide who is immoral and who deserves to live and die...who stone little girls...who bury little girls alive...who feel like 30 years of dictatorship is too little...who are so blinded by the pursuit of absolute power that they do not see how truly powerless they are....

And when they come home, they don't get to sleep peacefully because they bring back visions of horror as souvenirs

So now I'm feeling like a whiny little crybaby and hating myself for thinking that anything I'm battling does not even begin to compare to what these soldiers and their families face (and let's not even get me started on Africa..that's its own can of worms).

And I'm feeling ashamed because being inundated with news about the war and the world has left me apathetic even to what's going on right outside my door....so i shut it all out and try and focus on one thing for now...but I can't.

So I tell myself that the only way to make a difference in the world is to start with the world I face everyday..but that seems so small and insignificant compared to what is going on out there. Still I smile and I listen and I try to be present in the moment.

This works 99% of the time...my mind is occupied with thoughts and plans and goals and projects that keep me busy...but all it takes is that 1% when I get so overwhelmed with what's going on 99% of the time that I'm forced to take a step back and question the relevance of 99% of my time.

And that leaves me here...discouraged and disillusioned, overwhelmed by problems that appear insurmountable. Problems that make me feel like..."if I could only fix this...everything else will fall into place"...but where to start?

1% definitely puts things in perspective..like who the bloody hell cares if your experiments work?or if you have a good day?or if you have something planned for your birthday?

But what comes after the 1%? and before the 99% kicks in again? sometimes it's numbness...sometimes it's the strong belief the there is something out there bigger than us...that has a grand design of how things should be and makes me believe that my existence is indeed relevant and if i do everything right will amount to something useful...but it's never both...

And today...I am numb

Marching on to April

2011-03-30T22:37:00.000-05:00

HoHemGeee y'all...
@ that girl they call MPB...it's not your fault o! Get that big ol' log out of your eye cuz you ain't blogged neither *side eye*

Sho been a while innit? I tire sef with the excuses..I suck..I accept it and I will go put myself in a corner.

ooooh oooh!...Ok..yes i am obsessed with my nephews (#1 more than #2 for now but give me time)
#1 is a total clown! He's also 2 going on like 16!
Apparently, the other day he wanted some milk and his dad was making it for him. So he was following his dad around the kitchen saying "that's not even mine". His dad ignored him until he went to hand him the bottle of milk only to realize he had used a baby bottle instead of his regular sippy cup.
His mom now says "You should have listened to your son"
Why did my nephew now say "Yea..I'm a genius!"?

I died! That boy is just too much!

What's new you say?
Well...i finished the 5K program (bring it killer) and I was gonna start the 10K program but mehn...no motivation..my music sucks, i decided i dont like running on the treadmill that much...so i'm just gonna stick to the classes and work on incorporating weight training into my exercise routine.

I woke up the other day realizing that i'm getting old! Almost 30 y'all...It's time to take my world domination plans to the next level...watch this space!

For my birthday, I'm going to see Cirque! finally..I hope it's not wack. You know what else was not wack? Rango...yes..Rango..I laughed, I almost cried..I loved it! It was a lil slow in some parts but all in all...not bad.

My April goals are to take care of all my health stuff and I made my appointments so yay me!

Oh..I updated MoK8....finally...not really feeling the part II (lacking inspiration) but I promise the part III will be naice...I think..

It's almost April y'all...the best month EVER! When all the best ppl are born :)
I hope everyone has a wonderful April! I know I will!

Dos!

New Year...New You and all that junk!

2011-02-23T02:23:00.000-05:00

So...last year, I didn't make any resolutions cuz i was like "resolutions? them thangs don't work!"
But this year...I was like well last year I made unspoken resolutions and didn't accomplish them...well...maybe a couple...
So this year...I decided to try again and thought..maybe it would work better if I do:
1. Not try to accomplish all of them at once (1/month - 40 days)

2. Not beat myself up about it if i didn't accomplish them

I just wanted to recap for meself

January

    - Resolution: Start exercising
    - Success?: Yay
    - Background: I actually love working out...I do..but I also love eating, and being sedentary and watching TV..and left to my own devices..devises?...I'd rather eat in bed while watching TV. The good thing is when I'm in the gym, I'm focused. The perks of being a student is free gym membership.
Anyway, my school gym has pretty good classes and I'm usually in the gym about 5-6 days a week (good week) and 3 days (bad week)..this is what I do..

Monday: Kickboxing...the crazy chick that runs this class..ahem..forgets often that we are human beings and that no one likes to do 100 moves on a step followed by 72 jumping jacks followed by 20 burpees followed by mountain climbers...AS A WARM UP!!..while getting screamed at! The class should be called boot camp. (think i get a mini panic attack right before each class...but that stuff works men! And i find myself showing up week after week.)
ASIDE: whoever invented burpees must have been a prison inmate because the only way I'll ever complete 20 burpees..EVER..is if someone threatens to shank me! Just saying..those things are NO BUENO!!!

Wednesday: Cardio Jam is pretty much just step aerobics with booty shaking intervals so naturally..i love it

Thursday: Ab Attack and Kickboxing....a tamer version of Monday's class but still sweat inducing and more fun.

So that's 3 days...on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday or Sunday...I run.
OK..I am shame that when i first started in January..I would run/walk for 20 minutes and I don't think i could run for 5 minutes straight but i was doing the Couch25K program so technically...I may or may not have been able to run more than 5 minutes that first week but i was bound by the program..and since I didn't try to see if i could..the world will never know.
The moral of the story is that I am 8 weeks in and I can run for 28 minutes..NO STOPPING!! Woohoo...
It's not no 9mph..it's more like 5-5.5mph but I think I'm building up endurance...now I can get chased by the killer and as long as he agrees to a slow jog and not an all out adrenaline driven chase...i think i can outrun him (unless he's on week 9 of the program where you have to run 30 minutes...hmmmm...damn it!)

Anyhoo...the C25K is a 9 week program..so I'll be done next week by God's grace... and I dont see myself giving up this gymming thing by choice...so I think i can confidently say that I have accomplished that resolution! Yay Me!

   - Results: well...i haven't gained weight..i think i may have lost about 4lbs and some inches...since January 1st, but I also am not very good about the whole eating thing..yet. That's my April resolution. But i think my clothes fit me better...I'm seeing some pretty cool muscle definition all over the place so nice nice overall..

   - Path forward: apparently, there's a Bridge to 10K (6miles) program as well so I'm going to do that after I'm done with the C25K...they both have free apps on Droid in case anyone is interested (C25K and Bridgeto10K) i think iPhone folks gorra pay...teehee suckers!!

The thing is...I don't think i like running (yet)..it really depends on my mood that day and my music. But I show up and I do it and when I'm done..i feel like Wonder Woman :) My goal is to get up to running 5 miles a day..like Beyonce because let's face it...she's the supreme ruler of all things young,fabulous and black
(side eye that one with her increasingly blonde look lately)!

UGGH! i swear...this post was not supposed to be this long!
I'll recap February another day and get into March and April as well...

Y'all stay warm..and safe..and good and junk!

ASIDE: does anyone else sometimes mistakenly type www.google.cm and end up at Cameroon's google? and wonder..why the hell does Nigeria not have a www.google.ng?..jus me?..sigh! We hail thee o!...

Wouldn't it be absolutely hilarious if Nigerians revolted like the Egyptians or Libyans?...seeing as we apparently have a democracy...HILAR!!!...sorry y'all i have issues...my tyrantous (yes that's a word...i just played it on wordfeud..26 points) streak is coming out a bit these days...another day another post!!

As i was saying sha...
Deuces!

The best part of me....

2011-01-26T23:07:00.000-05:00

..I've been trying to think of 7 things about me that weren't cliche or boring...cuz i got tagged by Taynement...for 3 weeks now..maybe less...

1. I love cop shows...something about the bad guy always getting their just desserts is so gratifying.
- Law and Order: SVU (not the original or the faux C.I or L.A or whatever else). Just me, Benson and Stabler fighting bad guys..kicking ass and taking names..and not smiling.
- Rookie Blue: Come back Rookie Blue..y'all should watch it..there's a nigerian chick on it...i feel like i'm the only one that watches it and i dont want it to get canceled.
- Southland: Ok...I have been in love with Ben McKenzie since the O.C, and looove Regina King in it...the whole cast chemistry is ridiculous and the stories make me cry. @RepOne..PLEASE tell me you're on Southland..pleeeesee!!

2. Speaking of which...I love a good cry....a good cry until you cant cry anymore and you go to sleep. I usually have one once a month..sheesh PMS is real y'all! But I wake up the next morning and all is right with the world.

3. When I was younger and wasn't allowed to have life experiences..I'm sure I made up a full life of love and hurt and pain in my head and I lived it through music. And now that i'm old and have had life experiences..it still surfaces some times...scary!

4. Honestly...I really do think i can sing! I know..my friends have told me..and I wont be one of those friendless fools that come on American Idol thinking they can sing when the whole world knows they cant. Guess I'll stick to the shower and my car.

5. My idea of a perfect weekend seems to have evolved to waking up at 7am to watch reruns of Law and Order...then breakfast, then a nap, then lazing about....then getting good bad food like indian and a movie and doing more lazing about.

6. I like spending time with myself....most times more than hanging out with people..

7. For some reason..I'm pretty good at remembering random trivia crap... One day it will pay off...I hope.

That's all...c'est fini..ze end..beautiful people..stay warm and stuff...we go dey jam!

So..i got tagged 5000 years ago...finally saw it..see!! :)

2010-12-28T14:07:00.000-05:00

5 Famous people I want to meet: (honestly famous ppl dont shack me like that...plus i'm shy :o)

- Keanu Reeves (y'all know my infinite yet one-sided relationship with this dude will probably never die..i just love him)
- Oprah (i think what she's got is contagious..if i meet her i might catch some of it)
- Jennifer Aniston ( i think we would be good friends)
- I guess Obama (i mean what is he going to say to me? nyeh!)
- Keanu Reeves (the second meeting is when he'll realize we are soulmates and we'll live together forever in harmony like ebony and ivory teehee!)

5 Books that affect(ed) you:

- The Bible--nah freal tho..cliche as it seems
- The Alchemist by Paul Coelho
- God is Relevant by Luis Palau
- Little Bee by Chris Cleave (i'm actually still reading this book and it.does.not.suck)
- Angels and Demons by Dan Brown (just an awesome page turner)

5 favorite movies:

- Jurassic Park 2 (and 3 sometimes but i can watch 2 like everyday)
- The First Matrix
- Terminator 2: Judgement Day
- Mulan
- A Goofy Movie

5 things you can't do without:

- Air
- Food
- Water
- My Cellphone
- um...yeah maybe a really nice fine point pen from pilot

5 turn ons (i'm guessing in the opposite sex)

- Honesty
- Sense of humor
- Tall
- Dark
- Handsome

5 turn offs:

- Liars
- Assumers
- Cocky Morrasuckers
- Users
- Abusers

As we proceed...

2010-12-27T15:24:00.000-05:00

*Dr. Nick* Hiii Everybody! */Dr. Nick*

Hope everyone had a fabulous christmas holiday. Mine was memorable to say the least.
Gosh so like last year, I was determined...DETERMINED to not make any stupid new year's resolutions because well... they never really work out too well for me. But this year...i figure..what the heck.
No matter what i call it sha...it's still a resolution..resolving to do something better..but really I just want to start acting like a grown ass woman all the way around because ..ahem...we gon' be turning 2-8 in the 0-1-1 and so...we should try acting like a grown as woman in her late 20's (excuse me while i hyperventilate!)

Ok..now that that's done...let's recap 2010 shall we...

In 2010,
Professionally/Academically: I joined a lab and I got started on my thesis project. I also took and passed all my required courses as a graduate student and passed my graduate board oral exam! Not too shabby if i do say so meself!

Personally: I lost like 11lbs (and gained it back but that's besides the point!), I got tree braids and a weave oooh ohhh and my hair grew and I was able to retain some length. Um...I fell in and out of love with running. I was on a pretty cool Me'n'God relationship kick...and I learned some stuff about myself...then i slacked off.

Socially: I made new friends maybe lost some old ones......i have a terrible habit of not keeping in touch..so not cool!

Blogwise:...could be better...it's not even that i dont want to blog...it's just that I honestly usually dont have anything to blog about. But I want to take this blogging thing semi seriously...people on here seriously motivate me..i just need inspiration and less slackeritis...

So...my grown ass woman goals for the 0-1-1 (GAWG)

Professionally/Academically:
- Do well in my classes
- Finish up my electives
- Plan out experiments beforehand
- Keep a daily to-do list
- Write in my lab notebook faithfully
- Be more active in one organization

Personally:
- Take my multivitamin daily (ok nightly cuz that thing makes me nauseous)
- Make healthier food choices 80% of the time
- Maintain my workout routine
- Register/Train for a 5k
- Do all my grown woman health stuff (dentist, eye doctor, lady doctor)
- Stop treating my hair like it's the ugly step sister
- Get into the whole makeup thing (at least to the level that GAW should be)
- Get back into my Me'n'God kick...seriously only good things came out of that

Financially:
- Actually start being more mindful of what i do with my pennies
- Save up for what i want instead of charging charging charging!!

Socially:
- Be more social i guess
- Be a better friend
- I want to travel beyond just visiting my nephew..My labmates and I plan to eat our way through ATL and my boyfriend (did i just say that? ick..well i guess that's wat a GAW does! :p)...want to try visiting all 50 states..so we gotta start somewhere. I guess technically we've been to Florida,New York, California, Texas, Georgia and the DMV. I'm thinking Vegas (even though i've been)

Blogwise:
- Actually comment on blogs that I read instead of just passing through..and not just lazy comments..insightful ones like "LOL" and "OMG NO SHE DIDNT" and "WORD"

How do i plan on accomplishing all this you ask? Hell if I know!! LOL..y'all got any ideas? What has worked for you?

I was thinking of taking on one of these tasks per month so i dont feel overwhelmed...like starting January 1st..i'll start taking a multivitamin a day and see how it goes from there.

I hope you all have wonderful new year with lots of amazing things and good health.
MUAH!!!

Whatcha say!

2010-12-10T01:24:00.000-05:00

Heeeeeyyy there Bloggy McBloggers!

I'm not even going to make excuses...that's so 2010 and as we don almost reach the 0-11...(oooh oohh..can we all make a pact to only refer to 2011 as 0-1-1?..c'mon! please? please? it'll be so cool!!)

Hope everyone is chilling and chilly...my cincy chica...please keep that icy weather on your side of the country mmmkay? Thanks!

What's been going on with me?

Um...not much but I'll break it all down in random fashion

The closest thing I had to a "bestie" is getting married in 8 days..aaaahhh!! in naija :( and i'm missing it!boooo! But they know I love them, and I'll come visit lots when they get back....and I promise to be the best Godmother I can possibly be when the time comes...:)

I dont know how you superwomen with careers and kids do it. I dont have a kid or a career but I find it hard to divide my time...I was recently on holiday and spent most of my time with my smart, cute,adorable,awesome, funny, character of a nephew and I totally blocked out anything grad school related...as in complete amnesia but then when i come back...after i overcome the depression of being away from him..i'm back into my work... How do you balance both? Gosh...MRS degree here I come!

So I still don't know what the hulabaloo is about this twitter business....I contemplated joining just to follow Idris Elba but i figure what's the point..I got me my own real life Idris that i can follow..:)

In the same vein...In the last couple of weeks, I've had some interesting encounters with how you say...."interested parties?"...and I've decided i'm too nice. OK...help me out here...When/How do u tell someone...um..thanks for the compliments and you're nice and all but I'm not interested in you like that?...I really was just being nice and making conversation while we are on this plane together/damn hartsfield-jackson aka the most awful airport/dancefloor of a wedding that i was dragged to by my parents where the dj is on point and my shoes are comfy so i gorra dance/////? Because I'm too nice, ppl feel like I should give them my number..then when u say "I'm seeing someone"...they say.."so you can't have friends?" or "i didnt ask if you had a boyfriend did i?" and that's when i become not so nice!

So my parents came to visit me...after i moved into my new place..which i love, and think is totally cute even if it might slightly be possibly next to a den of wolves (maybe werewolves? maybe Alcide?oooooooooooooooooooo! Lol) And I gorra tell you...it was actually fun having them...I had to talk them through how to use an electric can opener and they were kinda nagging about everything!! "why are you speeding?".."aren't you cold?" "what time are you going to work?" "arent you going to eat?"...like arrrrrrrrrrrrgghh I'm grown...but i did get some banging stew and soup out of it so i cant complain.

I mean, I'm all for nigerian food and ppl dont like change but geez men..my Dad would not eat any food that wasnt cooked at home or soup and eba...seriously!! it was so annoying, then again his favorite restaurant used to be "Burger King"...so..i guess it's my own fault for wanting to make him try something else...TRUE STORY
Daddy: I dont eat food outside anymore
Me: Nothing at all? What about pizza? (back in the day we had pizza and movies occasionally)
Daddy: Well...sometimes I get pizza but I have to see them making it
Me: So where do you go that you see them making it?
Daddy: Oh wow...I go to Cici's Pizza..that's where i get pizza from
Bless his heart!!

I'm grateful for my parents..they are the most down to earth people ever...none of that nigerian too big for your britches shit...they are just real and I totally appreciate that...Love em!!

Men...like joke like joke another year is over!! What did i accomplish this year? I'll contemplate and blog that next...it's been a year...not good, not bad..just interesting.

Jimmy Fallon is not a good interviewer....

Happy Friday!!Abuo!

Back on the scene with a pocketful of lint!

2010-11-12T17:33:00.000-05:00

Hi Folks,
I've been gone so long that i almost forgot my password..:)
But i'm back...and for those who care but did not get the text! This chick righchea passed her exam!! *happy dance* Thanks for all the prayers!! I appreciate ya...Thanks...ALL thanks be to God because I know for a fact that I did not do any of it by myself.

What have I been up to you ask? Nothing...absolutely nothing...trying to get back into the groove or actually working and trying to get experiments to work.

Let's random a bit shall we? *POSSIBLE SPOILER*

So i saw "For Colored Girls" and I thought it was pretty good. Granted, I'm a movie snob and the movie going experience was not the best..like shut up already nobody cares what you think about the movie, just let me enjoy it. But i didnt let even that affect me...
Come to find out that ppl are extra pissy that Tyler Perry hates black men.
Can I be honest...on my own blog without people thinking i'm racist or that i hate black people?
Ok here it goes.....

Honestly, until that movie, I don't think i understood the plight of "black women" in America. Or at least, I don't think I empathized. But after the movie, while I don't necessarily think i can relate to all the characters, I definitely understood where they were coming from and how truly possible it is to end up where they did. And yes it was all at the hands of black men! DAMN YOU BLACK MEN...if you aint in jail, you're either on the downlow or trying to rape or kill us poor black women! (that part was a joke! kinda!lol..ok it was definitely a joke).

But seriously...we as a race need to get out act together...i'm not even comparing across races...i'm just saying...we need to stop selling ourselves short and allowing our past to dictate our future...
Personally sha..me i think it's kinda genetic a little bit, and mixed in with just centuries of self doubt and self loathing and selfishness and this transcends even to africa.

Before this movie...i admit that my concern/focus even though i havent really done much to help was solely based on africa/naija and trying to figure out ways to make it better...but the movie helped me to see that I should care/try to help out more in the community I'm in right now....

I'm sure this stuff is all a bunch of junk....probably makes no sense...but it's all straight from my brain in random fashion and I dont feel like editing...

Hope erbody is hanging in there with life and junk!

Deuces~

What had happened was...

2010-09-20T09:05:00.000-05:00

Hiya folks

yay to the ppl that read and liked my lil piece of fiction
I swear i meant to update and i do have an update but i dont have anything after that because i havent written that far in advance.....
what had happened was ...i gorra take this exam real quick and it's real intense and i really dont have time to do anything else....

But once i'm done...and pass by God's grace..i'll be back in full full effect....

@Taynement...i read all 100...teehee 5'3" short stuvvs
@NiceAnon...this girl..it is too early for me to be laughing like a crazy person...smh...funny stuvvs..why you no wan give love a chance?

Hope er'one is doing ok...

see y'all in a month by God's grace~!

Disclaimer

2010-09-06T09:22:00.006-05:00

When I was a little girl...I wanted to be a writer among other things. On the side of course because um..caint no one make no good money as a writer...thou shalt be a doctor.

I even wrote a book once with my best friend in secondary school

Now, I think about it from time to time, curse my lack of imagination and busy life (yeah right)

I even toyed with the idea of writing to support my academic habit but then I claimed i would never have time.

But here it is..Monday, public holiday and an idea came into my head and it stuck. I've started short stories before, and I might not finish this one, but the iron is hot and i don't feel like doing anything else right now so...here it is.
Thanks Myne for I used some of your work to teach myself how to write stories.
And thanks Nickelback for i fapped one of your lines as a title.

Um...you guys be gentle k? All 5 of you that read my blog. I will try my darnedest to make it a complete story.

Lastly, This is all pure fiction. I was listening to Nickelback and the idea came to me...*bites fingernails* hope you like!

Mind Of Kate

When the oceans rise and thunders roar......

2010-08-31T07:37:00.003-05:00

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust----"Still"..by Hillsong (beautiful song)

....so, I just spent 3 full days with my family and my nephew and I didn't want to come back..not to work..not to reality. I'm probably being overly dramatic too...but
I kinda feel like there's no greater purpose in life than being able to make someone smile completely and wholeheartedly. And when it's an innocent little 2 year old...it just fills my heart completely.
So yea i didn't want to come back to meaningless pursuits that may or may not amount to anything in the end.
....I also realize that life goes on...without you (me in this case)..eventually. On either end...what you left and what you came back to...all keeps going, almost like you never existed. So why are you here?

Anyway...I'm sure these are pretty standard feelings coming back after vacay no?

So might as well stop moping and get on with the routine. Where's my hamster wheel?

......

WhatDoYaWantFromMe?!

2010-08-17T08:49:00.004-05:00

In true mismash form...

Hey dudes and dudettes *waves*....(no really, i waved at the screen..i think you ought to wave back...c'mon..noone is looking)..:) YAY. HI!!

So last night I dreamed that I was using a pay phone to register for classes for my last semester and some dude came up in front of me..light skinned, medium build, fade, leather jacket...and stabbed me in the gut. No reason...just cuz..and I felt it. it HURT! Like it woke me up from sleep and I thought i was dead..coincidentally, my alarm went off and "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World was playing. Where is Joseph when you need him? Or Dom?

Good thing about waking up at 6am to get to work at 8am...you're done at 10am with all your work! LOL..FML what am i going to do for the next 6 hours?

D'you guys notice how my updates follow a pattern? Usually, I blog on days of the week ending with -day. :) *rim-shot*...no? *crickets*? you suck!!

For months it's been an ongoing battle with the little coffee shop in my building. They make this Chai Latte that tastes like magic and is unbelievable...it's also expensive...and the owner refused to tell me where they get it from..sha got one of the workers to give me the package and i ordered it from amazon..now when i go to get steamed skim milk i know they side eye me...but i don't care..i'm saving myself freaking $3 a cup..EAT THAT BOYS!!

OMG...soo...for as long as i've been sitting here..(it's kinda like a mezzanine separated into cubicle type spaces..but anyhoo...as long as i've been here, there's been a phantom burper..person climbs up the stairs and just *burp* *BURP* *BURRRRRP*...so rude and so freaking nasty..and before i can turn the corner to see who it is..they're gone...so i had to plan a stakeout..and I caught the phantom burper!! turns out it's this older asian lady..now it's awkward...how do i tell her "Look lady...stop burping -obviously on purpose cuz this ish happens everyday-..it's gross dude!"

I was reminiscing yesterday and going back to 4 years ago when i was all excited about blogging and i notice that my blogs were usually short...so i think maybe i'll go back to that...more frequent.

A bien tot!

2010-07-20T13:52:00.003-05:00

7 things going through my mind...!!!

1. Soccer...like milk..does the body good!! Have you seen the bodies on those soccer players?...Mommy like!! :) I'm not a big fan of the overly muscular...i like to appreciate it from afar but I dunno..gimme lean any day over ginormous muscles and you got yourself a happy girl!! :)

2. Competing w/ le boy on who can firm up their abs quickest ($100 by December)...all started cuz he said my tummy was smooth and fluffy like amala or tuwo...*rolls eyes*...so..i need all the tips (unconventional only please!)...i now eat right and exercise...I'm working on that part. I want other crazy tips like drink scalding hot water before bed...or hop on one leg for 5 minutes...that you have tried and that works!! :) Thank um...this is what I'm going for..

Una think say I fit? I'm extra pumped to do it cuz of all the side bets against me apparently taking place...if you want to win good money..you should bet on me..I'm the underdog...like Seabiscuit..:) (wait..was Seabiscuit the underdog?)

..My incentive...some $100 shoes yeah boy!!!!! :)

3. I like doing "different" things..i mean i know I'm not unique in that regard..but i would try almost anything once. This past weekend I got to go ziplining through the trees...it was kinda scary cuz all you have is a harness (although they said it could hold up to 285lbs...i was like..."watch mine be the only one that doesn't!"). It was lots of fun though...swinging into rope ladders and crossing from post to post 500ft up in the air....however..skydiving and bungee jumping are out!!

Now if you can get me to do something different...followed by food..I'd be all for it..ex..in DC this Sunday (i think it might be a weekly thing)..they are doing a Tone,Taste and Tan thingie where you do 1hr of yoga on the roof of the Liaison Capitol Hill, and then you get breakfast after that at Chef Art Smith's restaurant
and then you get to chill by the pool for as long as you want...
The only bummer is that it's $50 bucks!!

4. Bout to move y'all!! Gosh..I've moved every year since 2006...actually make that 2005. It's getting tiring. I love moving..but the packing up part I'm not a fan of..help anyone?

5. So ever since I discovered Pinkberry..the magical place with orgasmic frozen yogurt...I mean i still eat ice cream but I crave frozen yogurt...i walked miles and miles in NY just to find a Pinkberry. Well seeing as the nearest Pinkberry is like 170 miles away...I figured that was a thing of the past..but one fateful day this weekend...on my way to Chipotle (lmao..ask me how that bet is working out for me..SATURDAY IS MY CHEAT DAY OK? I can have a barbacoa burrito with rice and black beans if i want to!!)... I discovered Yogiberry...not Pinkberry but it'll do...they charge like $.45/ounce and they have all this wacky flavors..i swear they have cocoyam flavored yogurt..blech! but the original..with some mango and strawberry pieces is Amazing!!! especially with this crazy heat we're having!

6. Is anyone else.. 1)apathetic bordering on mad about Lindsay Lohan? Like seriously, I had high hopes for that girl's career..hope she can get it together. 2)Enraged and disgusted by Mel Gibson? I mean the tape i listened to was definitely a set up and if that's him on the other line..he fell for it hook line and sinker 3) Secretly in love with the Allstate abi statefarm insurance guy in those commercials? I dunno why...he's just such a goofball 4) Intrigued by the old spice dude? I love him... I know he's scripted but he does such a good job of delivering his lines..makes me want to switch my bodywash to old spice :)

"look at me...now look at you man...now back at me..." Hehehehe!! funnee

7. One of my FB friends who i FB stalked for a while..who is a pretty good poet..apparently just got a degree and is wanting everyone to know because his status always starts with "Dr. So and so wants you to know that 33% of the world's population doesn't drink enough water". I'm like "Shuo...cuz of degree you now want us to accept what we could easily find on google as fact because you say so?"...maybe I'm just hating on the dude....but I'm definitely guilty of defriending ppl based on their status posts....hehehehe...evil!!

What y'all folk been up to these days?
Please lemme know your tips..i'm serious all you skinny bitches (i mean that as a term of endearment). I currently work out 4 to 5 days a week for at least 1hr and i eat pretty healthy...so...um...i want magical stuff..cant afford surgery just yet tho.

ooooh ooohhh...and...if you guys have done anything crazy/fun/different...definitely inform a sister make she too follow una try.

DMV bloggers that would like to do the Tone,Taste and Tan kini...we could make it a date...:)

Deuces!!

The truth..nothing but...

2010-07-07T21:49:00.004-05:00

Nobody tagged me...but i'm a thief like that so..there!!! I really was gonna random about just random stuff...but this'll do.

Right now I'm feeling....mellow...a lil apprehensive...a lot blessed...a lil in denial

When I'm alone I feel....introspective, like i can solve the world's problems in my mind.

When I'm surrounded by people I feel.....depends...if they're ppl i know and like,i feel comfortable..if they're ppl i dont know, i feel shy and introverted. If they're around ppl i dont like...i leave!

One thing I hate is....inconsideration (is that a word?)...just ppl with their head in the clouds or their asses..like "wtf..you are not on this planet alone...don't be a jerk!"

One thing I really like about myself is .....my ability to logically think through a problem and sometimes come up with a solution..

When I'm feeling sad I......listen to sad music, cry, pray, write in my journal, read my bible

When I daydream it's usually about.......life after grad school,sleep,sexy time

I'm afraid of.....losing loved ones, dying, failure.

I'm happiest when......i've ..checked off everything on my to-do list, just finished working out, made good decisions that day.

One thing that really worries me is .... that things might not work out the way i want them to in any/all aspects of my life.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be.....my temper.

If I could be with anyone right now I would be with.....my nephew!!! gosh i miss my goobie!

The family member I am closest to is........honestly no one person more than the other but i'd say my mom and 2 older sisters.

If I was really honest with my father I would tell him....that I love him for his sacrifices and his silent way of showing he loves us but i would like to hear it more.

One thing I regret about my life is ......NOT being informed/upfront/honest...

If I only had one more day to live I would......get right with the Lord, hang out with fam and write personalized letters to all the people I love...pretty good for me.

If I was really honest with my mother i would tell her.....that i love her and her prayers definitely work and i appreciate her more and more everyday..

One thing about me that nobody knows is......when i'm alone, i put on my highest heels and shake my booty in front of the mirror.

I hope that someday in the future.....I can actually do something to help someone other than myself.

When I think about my family I feel.....happy...those ppl crack me up (nuclear)..pissed off (extended)

Something I'm really embarrassed about is....oooh oooh i remember...so when i first met one of my oldest friends..she was singing a song, i forget..and she said the wrong words..so i took the time to listen to the song, learn the words and then i confronted her about singing it all wrong...lol..i was a weirdo.

One thing about me I never want to change is.....my wanting to solve ppls problems.

One thing I feel really proud of is.....being able to leave all that was familiar to me and strike out on my own...and then do it again once i got comfortable.

Blogsville has helped me to.....accept that i might actually have something to say..and sometimes ppl might actually want to read it.

One thing I like about blogsville is......that there are some funny-ass, cool-ass, nonjudgemental-ass ppl on here.

Phew...i tag whoever wants to do it....

...running through my head..all the things she said

2010-06-21T14:36:00.003-05:00

So...I don't think i celebrated my 100th post..but this one is my 200th!! Yay!!...

I think I'll make it a random blog..

One of the perks of living in The Wire country...I definitely see firsthand what an ankle monitoring bracelet looks like..*like I've ever wondered*...na wa oh..see this dude just jejely stepping out of the train with his summer shorts on and his lil bracelet like it was nothing...not even trying to lindsaylohan it. I just stared...

One of the downsides of living in The Wire country...weirdo central..why do all the weirdos/shady looking ppl/crazies/sleazy ass men/disgustos/pervs gravitate towards me?
EVERYDAY..EVERYDAY.
If it's not some dude in a wheelchair offering to give me ride if i sit in his lap, it's a schizophrenic "pastor" offering to take me to his church for "counseling". The new thing is all the cab drivers who all happen to be igbo..and now apparently all know my name and still...STILL feel the need to do that hissing calling thing..i'm over it!

Dear Baltimore...a pick up line that starts with you telling me either that you are currently on the run from your home state of North Carolina because your soon to be ex-wife filed an assault claim against you that led to a warrant...OR that starts with you telling me about your two kids and their mommas...WILL never..EVER..end with me giving you my number!!

I decided..finally to start back on my healthy living regimen...for the 100th time..and the only reason i'm even talking about it is so that hopefully it will keep me honest to verbalize it. I'm competing with my mom and my sister to see who will win. Naturally, I will..obviously but let's not tell them that.:)There are no losers..only winners..and technically even the winners would be losers..hehe dry joke! So far it's been good..I definitely see a difference!

One of my favorite hobbies is...facebook stalking *hangs head in shame* I know i know...but seriously..i was looking through someone's facebook pictures and it turns out she has friends in common with a friend of mine...said friend being someone who i've had an "interesting" past with..so in my head i cringed slightly..then i decided that I'm of too little importance to think that they might possibly talk about me.

Ppl who know me know that I don't shy away from confrontation..when i have to but I'd just rather avoid it. What i do hate is when you meet people who supposedly have beef with you and they pretend there's nothing wrong..I'd rather you ignore me..or kick my ass than kiss me..that's just me.

Life is interesting...not MY life..mine is as boring and routine as it comes..but I LOVE IT. I'd rather live vicariously through those around me. I don't think I'd ever look back and be like.."men, i wished i partied more, drank more, filled my life with more drama..etc"

The one thing i do wish I'd have done more of by now is travel more..definitely. I'd love to do the Europe thing, the Africa thing, the South America thing, the Asia thing...meh..all in good time.

Even though i know everyone's journey is different, it's not easy not to compare my life to other ppls...like.."if i'd chosen a different path..I'd be done with school by now" or "if i had gone straight to grad school rather than taking that time to work..i'd be done with school forever by now..or close"..etc..but that's life abi?.. moments not milestones and alladat.

It's interesting the way people think/conclusions they draw by looking at you...ex:
I have a batman lunchbox..(SUE ME I LOVE BATMAN!)..so I must have a son..even if i had a kid..why can't she be a girl and why cant she love batman?

I work at "my school"...so I must be a nurse..Why can't i be a doctor?

I'm black..so I must be a new employee at the animal facilities..why can't i just be a student coming to harvest some mice?

I recently wrote an angry letter to my cousins in naija...well i don't think it was angry..i think it was brutally honest..but they didn't seem to find it funny...hellificare!! As long as you get the message.

You know what population i'm currently hating on? Skinny chicks with big boobs..like WTF? How is that fair? I confess that I was totally hating on my friend who stayed with me recently with her nice boobs and nice booty with nice long legs to (great now she'll think i'm gay) and she's freaking smart too and pretty and light skinned and a good dancer! Ugh!! I hate her...like a lot!! :)..normally..you dont have it all..you either have (1) nice boobs and no booty ..(2) booty and just ok boobs or (3)nice legs and no booty or boobs or (4)you can just be petite with no boobs and no booty.... I know for sure my boobs are nothing I'm just going to settle for being healthy HOW ABOUT THAT? just healthy!! hmmpfff!!

What say ye folks? Do you feel me on the skinny chics with big boobs or am i just once again subscribing to what society deems to be beautiful?

That's all she wrote folks!
Enjoy the rest of your week...

I don't want us to be the end of me....

2010-06-11T20:12:00.002-05:00

...#5

I know it's not just me...cuz Mgbeks don addressed it already..but everybody seems to be getting hitched and wanting you (read: me) to know about it. And I'm completely happy for each and everyone of them...shoutout to Melanie and Keith getting married tomorrow!!

I, Kate suffer from bouts of "when-will-it-be-my-turnitis".
I'll be the first one to admit that there are a list of logical reasons why I'm probably not ready to get married...ranging from financial to educational but dang...can we put a ring on it? My finger and my eggs are shriveling as we speak :)....CALM DOWN...i'm just being dramatic for effect.

I kinda feel like this post will jinx me but I don't believe in jinxes *maybe a little*.
But if i were to be completely open and honest with myself sometimes (not all the time)...I feel that I'm not emotionally ready to get married cuz..

- I have this image of myself in my head of who I'm meant to be abi who I want to be and I don't think I'm there yet. I'm working on it and I know I've changed. Recently, one of my friends was like "Mehn Kate you've changed...I used to pray for you because I thought you'd never change and you'd be alone" *I tried to take it as a compliment*

- From my teenage years through my early 20s..I was a pretty angry, easily disillusioned chic terribly afraid of failure to the point where i figured if i never tried..then i couldn't fail. And since the last thing I'd ever want to fail at was a marriage...why try at all?

- I'm still afraid of failure..but I believe that life is about choices...I choose to love, I choose to be in love and I choose to be present in a relationship and I choose to try my hardest to make it work...and everything I can't control...I put in God's hands and TRY not to worry about it.

- The thing is...where do you draw the line with regards to compromising who you are and what you want out of life just to "make it work"?. I've been accused of being "too nice" and bottling up things just to keep the peace..but I usually can't do it for long and when I reach tipping point...it's all bad and I feel like I'm back at square one...again

- I know Love is patient, kind, does not keep record of wrongdoing...etc.
But as an evolving being, I know that I personally sometimes (unknowingly) expect my other to fill a void in my life that they cannot and are not meant to. And when they don't I get impatient and unkind and begin keeping record of wrongdoings..

Because of all these things, I sometimes feel like I'm still a work in progress and as such..not particularly ready to get married...one of my friends believes however that you're not necessarily supposed to be "perfect" before you make that commitment...and you should be able and willing to work through individual issues together in the relationship....I can dig that logic but I also feel like marriage and all that will bring on its own share of issues so why not go into it as issueless as possible. I'm definitely an advocate of premarital counseling..

I'm a slacker I know it...I should be done with my list especially since I'm done with classes so i really have nothing to study for but ...lol..i admit i actually forgot that I had a blog for a while there...

shey y'all are ok out there in Bloogville?

Deuces

ASIDE:
does anyone else get really upset when commercials get abruptly interrupted by another random one? I'm like WTH...now I want to know what exactly you were trying to sell me!!!

does anyone watch Stargate Universe:SGU?.OMG Season Finale!!!sooo good!.ok...I'm a weirdo! I get it...

You've got all that I need...

2010-05-03T18:38:00.003-05:00

..Looking @ all or nothing
Hi peoples,

The purpose of this post is to try and be as honest as possibly without feeling overly exposed and maybe present my take on some of what I consider to be my life's "puzzling" questions at my age and how I used to rationalize the answers and what I do now without sounding too preachy.

One thing that I don't want to get lost in the possibly LONG post is something that I think strengthens me everyday...:

So you know how things always seem to be much worse at night, but the next day it seems better..even a little bit? Well I've decided that one of the reasons is because of the sun. Even on the cloudiest days you can tell day from night (except maybe in Kuwait). The sun just makes everything seem better. And as a Christian who believes that God created the sun..I am strengthened by the fact that this same God whose glory gives the sun it's light, and heat that we can feel from miles and miles away loves ME..always, regardless, more than anyone in the world ever can. And this God is for ME and has my back PERMANENTLY. Just the thought gives me a "who born dem?" attitude and makes it easier for me to get up and try again that day. And on days when this doesn't work, Psalm 139 is pretty good too.

Now...where to start.
MY STORY...

I grew up in a fairly religious home. My mom tried several times to introduce daily devotions at 6am every morning and was pretty consistent about it for a long time. Sunday school on Sundays..the whole nine. And I loved church. We also had a ton of "Holy Ghost fire" aunts and uncles pass through our home during childhood. So I had the background. I think I definitely took/take that for granted.."yes i know i should pray".."yes I know God is good".."yes i know if you sin and don't repent you are doomed to hellfire"etc. For a couple of years growing up..i think i was like 7 or 8, I used to be so fearful at night that I would die in my sleep or the world would end and I would go to hellfire"

And then you become an adult, and you leave that safety net and you're on your own and the world is there all inviting and exciting. I didn't consider myself to have ever been overly "worldly" but as there is no gray area and sin is sin...I was.

I went through this period where I just completely avoided the thought/concept of having a relationship with God because I felt that it would be out of duty..as per that's how you were raised so that's what you should do and if you don't..next exit "hellfire".

I think truthfully..It clicked for me in 2007. Before then, yes I loved God and I loved going to church and the fellowship and worship. But even then I found myself only praying consistently when I really wanted God to do something for me.

I DIGRESS: I remember once we were having some event and it started to rain..a friend's sister suggested that we pray. So i prayed..simple " Dear Lord, we would like for the rain to stop so our event will be dry and successful.In Jesus Name. Amen". She proceeded to scold me for not praying with conviction and then went on to "pray/bind and caste the devilish rain and command that it cease!" *side eye*

Anyway...what happened in 2007? IT CLICKED..i don't know how else to say it but i just finally got it. I'm not compelled to develop a relationship with God out of duty anymore..but because I love Him. I think at that point, I'd moved far far away from everything and everyone I knew and I was pretty much alone..alone with my thoughts..alone with my fears..just solo.

But I wasn't...have never been, I've always felt God's presence in my life guiding me and strengthening me. I wanted to develop my own special relationship with God that had nothing to do with the hangups from my past so I work at it. And I fail at it..and it hasn't been smooth sailing...and I'm not perfect..but I get up every morning and the darkness has been taken over by the light and I try that day to love and trust God the best I can, I try to learn about and do what makes Him happy and try not to beat myself up too much when I fall short. And I take the lessons from that day and try and move on and apply it to the next day.

This post take style long o..so I think I'm definitely going to have to split it up but these are my life questions:

My life questions..
1. What is my purpose in life?

2. Why is it so hard for me to be a good Christian?
3. What if all I've done in my life stems from one first,big mistake?
4. Where/When/How will my "tests" in life happen and can I handle them?

5. How will I know when I find the person that God has selected to be my life partner?

..song I love... I especially like 4:23 to the end..
Casting crowns.."Who am I"

10 Things I Love

2010-04-23T21:40:00.002-05:00

lol @MPB...
*embarrassed wave to blogworld*...hi guys!! It's been ages...i've been aging like fine wine..or maybe cheese....

..speaking of cheese, have you guys seen that commercial..i think it's cheez-it..where the cheese is not yet "matured" so they keep it until it is... heeehehee..cute stuvvs

OK..on to the from MPB's blog

1. Ok I know he's not a thing..but I love my lil' nephew Ollykokoko aka Goobie aka Cookie. He's the best. Like just thinking about him fills my heart with joy and makes me smile. ***no taynement i am not obsessed and I will not go born my own..leave me**

2. Chocolate..in all forms..except with caramel...chocolate cake (best i've had so far is from cheese cake factory..with whipped cream and nuts on the side microwaved for 23 seconds). Chocolate candy bars..anything from just a regular Hershey's candy bar to ferrero rocher..roche? Hot chocolate (best i've had is from daily grind...with whipped cream :

3. Entertainment...TV, music, movies...i don't think they need an explanation. The ability to escape into something..anything for a little while...

4. My phone...gosh i promise I didnt copy MPB...i just got a new phone too with the Android OS... I LOVE THIS THING!!!...awesomeness..in my own words.. "F an iphone" and "BB is soooo lame" *rolls eyes* can't believe i considered getting anything else.

5. Books...good books that keep me entertained...books that i hope i get to start reading again soon...

6. Shopping...everything i get paid my first instinct is oooh i can buy stuff..lmao..if that is not a recipe for perpetual brokeness i dont know what is.

7. Smoothies..fruit smoothies that are more fruit than ice and do not taste artificially sweetened. Damn..i wish i could recommend some but no smoothie i've loved has come from a chain.

8. Bananas...fruits in general..but i could eat like 12 bananas a day. I buy bananas but i have to wait a day or two to eat them when they are at the peak..softly firm and ripe...plantain might count too..

9. Meat...beef, sometimes chicken or fish..but BEEF my goodness...not even steak...just nice pieces of beef. sometimes..i buy some meat from the store and cook it in my slow cooker for like 8 hours... mmmm yummy.

10. Aight..i'll be cliche and say that I love God even though ..God is not a thing. I love God because even at my worst...He loves me and loved me enough to bless me with amazing friends and family members.

That's about it folks... I was trynna blog earlier this week and encountered some technical difficulties...
Hope everyone is doing greats...kisses!

It's about to be a....

2010-02-23T17:13:00.003-05:00

Dear Texas,
Is it safe? I feel like the birthrate and engagement rate up in that hood dikwa very very exponential oh. I can't stalk around without seeing new mommies and fiances popping up. Don't get me wrong..i love love..love is a beautiful thing and I LOVE kids!!! Am just observing. Do these people know something the rest of us don't? Or maybe it's just that age aye?

Dear Girl-who-caught-herself-trying-to-mess-with-me..aka roommate from hell,
*laughs quietly to self while shaking her head*...I mean see me see trouble o! You spilled coffee on the carpet..ok...accidents happen. Didn't clean it for weeks...ok. Your mom is supposed to have KABOOM at home straight from AsSeenOnTv. Great. Your ass went home and forgot to bring it...that's cool too.
Me: "maybe you should try regular detergent, it works fine too"
Dumbass: "yeah..my mom will just get the cleaner..what is the big deal"
Me: the big deal is it's been there 3 weeks and you did not bring the cleaner like you said and i have to look at it
Dumbass: Well that's too bad i'm not cleaning it before the exam *slams door*
Me: *sees red*

Heeeeeeeeee My GOODNESS! a whole me? seriously...seriously? This chick...I dont even know how i held my tongue. And the bad thing...bad for her..is i dont even LIKE the chick!! This chick doesn't know that I'm up on my bad girls club ish and i will readily melt butter into her egg whites/olive oil into her fat free dressing/sugar in her oatmeal/lock her bathroom and room from the inside/turn of all the electricity in her portion of the house/change the wi-fi password/put beef stock in her food (she's indian).
She should try me again!

I know i should be on some WWJD stuff but mehn..something has to be done.

Dear Michelle Tratchenberg,
LMAO!! this was actually good!! made my day. No more buffy's lil sister huh!

Fin.

What's really good?

2010-02-17T00:14:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone out there in blogworld
I've been meaning to blog but ya know.. life get's in the way.

Heyyy Nicey.. :)

Um...so, i dunno about y'all but i'm truly a facebook stalker. Case in point..i discovered this new couple on facebook. Both individually cute but soooo cute together. Never met these people ever in my life but i'm all of a sudden intrigued by them. As in...I got mad when some random chick misyarned on her comments on a picture of them together. No idea why i'm being overprotective about a couple i've never met but I just hope things work out for them..smh issues huh.

I realized today during my exam that I have to be the most slackerific grad student.Ever. If the exam was on something like where Rihanna was recently (Australia) or where Beyonce currently is (Peru)...surely i'd have aced it..but ask me something relating to my education like the difference between an ion channel and a uniporter and you'll get a big...HUH? This after we got one extra week to study. God help me!
'
Speaking of Rihanna...am i the only one feeling her "Rude Boy" video and song? I kinda like it..i think the video makes me like the song better but whatever. I like it.

I'm in the mood for a road trip or at least a really fun night out... First weekend coming up where i have no exams looming..hmmmm...what to do..what to do.

So for the first time in a long time, i'm actually following up..as much as i can on our dear president Goodluck Johnathan and his presidential doings...i hope he can bring about some form of change and not get sidetracked by power and corruption. Amen!

I missed 24 AND Lost? Something is wrong with me today.

Speaking of music videos..um Jason Derulo's "whatcha say" is like on constant replay on my Ipod..i just love his voice!! and apparently there's a video...is it me or does he look like Karamo ( the roommate from Real world)? Video does not match the music video i have in my head but whatevs!

I said it before and i'll say it again...what in the water has got ppl getting married and engaged left and right? 2010 finna be another 2007!! Maybe it happens in 3 year increments? Hmm i should research this.

Just when i thought i said all i could say..

2010-02-08T22:53:00.000-05:00

Sooooooooooooooo...... I'm feeling like I haven't confessed in a minute

I confess that I am thankful for the snow cuz I sho wasn't ready to take that exam tomorrow.
Kate 1 Grad School 0!! yippee!

I confess that friday was worst day I've had in a long time

I confess that I sincerely hope that this phase in my life will just pack its load and go somewhere.

I confess that while i think i know that I ain't in the marriage phase yet...the fact that some of my classmates are married now ( yeah i know 13 weddings in 08...but they were older) makes me think that maybe i should be.

I confess that I draw inspiration from celebrities..I mean sure I think i would switch places in a heartbeat but some of those people work hard for their money men. All that focus and dedication...so inspiring!

I confess that I suddenly lost the urge to finish confessing!

..don't it make you wanna scream!!

2010-02-06T00:06:00.003-05:00

So...right or wrong..I am adamant about not complaining or making excuses about things that happen in my life.
Dunno why, I usually just always try to deal because excuses are like armpits and I can usually rationalize my thinking to the point where it's like..."well if you did what you were supposed to do, or made the right decision or whatever..you wouldn't be in the position you're in"

I'm at a place in my space where I feel like slightly utterly confused about a lot of things. And I can't blame it on hormones for once...or steroids.

And I'm like seriously...shouldn't all this uncertainty have gone away with my early twenties?...argh!

I think it's gotten to the point when I can't even be completely honest with myself about how i really feel sometimes.

Or I don't allow myself to acknowledge how I feel because logically, I shouldn't feel how I feel...hmmpfh.

One of my friend's status on fb was "if God seems far away...who moved?" and I understand that. I feel closest to God when I wake up in the morning because I wake up to 15 minutes of Robert Cook and his soothing voice talking about God and stuff...that man was truly amazing. And then I have my little devotional. But then over the course of the day...just simply interacting with people I just get so caught up in the daily bs and I lose sight of how i'm supposed to be living and can't see beyond what annoys me.

I'm pretty frustrated because I have a lot on my mind and I need to study but I can't because my mind is just a jumbled up place.

I'm upset but I can't fully vent...this is why blogs go private

So many decisions that apparently have to be made like now!

Gimme a break!

sometimes i consider being a shut-in. Just leaving the world and all it's problems out there. But that's not socially acceptable.

And I feel like it's nearing the end of it all..and that sucks.

Here comes the guilt...the you and yours are healthy and blessed beyond measure and you should be content so stop whining! and Get to work guilt!

I miss being 16 and being allowed to be mad at the world.

And I feel like noone understands

No change I can't change I can't change I can't change...but i'm here in my mold...i am here in my mold..but i'm a million different people from one day to the next..

NO I DONT KNOW EVERYTHING WILL BE OK AND I DONT KNOW EVERYTHING WILL WORK ITSELF OUT I JUST WANT TO WHINE AND COMPLAIN AND BROOD AND POUT AND FEEL WHAT I FEEL WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY FOR FEELING THE WAY I FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But that's not constructive and that doesn't solve anything so i can't :(

But Robert Cook says.."if you've struck a rough day look up and say 'Lord Jesus..see me through this'"...so LORD JESUS SEE ME THROUGH THIS!!

I'm sorry

2010-01-06T17:43:00.002-05:00

I know it's a new year and all that good stuff and maybe i should not start the new year with um..how you say.."angry thoughts?". But I'm just feeling kinda um..upset. Just a little bit...and maybe a little homicidal as well.

I love being Nigerian..that's part of my foundation and part of what makes me who I am. And maybe I'm a hypocrite/all mouth and stuff when it comes to actually making any grand patriotic gestures. And quite frankly I haven't really been keeping up with the whole terrorist thing..partially because I don't really feel like I have extra time to be sifting through all the information out there to figure out what is true and what isn't...not until today.

But the real reason is because I am truly just so frustrated about everything "Nigerian" possibly everything "human" but the things that actually pissed me off are totally unrelated and related to Nigerians so there you have it.

First, the terrorist kini/ Nigeria being put on the watch list. No I don't think it's fair but quite frankly what can we do about it? When Michael Moore put Nigerians in his movie and named their cockroach alien eating leader Obesandjo or whatever and we were all up in arms..do you think Michael Moore's lard ass lost 1 ounce of fat worrying about what Nigeria thought?
What effect does the Nigerian senate think an ultimatum will have on the United States? Yes putting Nigeria on the watch list is unfair, but shouldn't our next move be trying to work with the United States strengthen our relationship by resolving to ensure that our security screenings are stricter? What is being defensive going to do for us?

Second, where in the hell is our "president"? Seriously...SERIOUSLY!!! I mean, ok fine you are ill or whatever, shouldn't the vice president be the next in command. Just goes to prove that the president is really just a figure head. I've said it a million times...all those people, president, vice president, government officials,senators, and most governors should be put on a ship (the SS Homicide) with one day's worth of food and sent off on the ocean. When they are too far off to swim back..drop a missile..let them all just go to the bottom of the ocean because they are just useless, worthless things.

I know that things are changing..I know that I'm not in a position to even talk but it's so frustrating. And yes maybe the younger generation can do something but by the time you cut through all the nepotism and corruption and bullshit..even if you get to the point where you can make any real changes unjaded and uninfluenced, there will always be people trying to stop you from doing what is right.

Third, some Nigerians enh..sometimes we are our own worst enemies. This year..this new born year..I've just witnessed a lot of venomous actions/reactions that make me scratch my head. Some nigerians just cannot keep their damn opinions to themselves. I was reading linda ikeji's blog and she posted pictures of herself in a black dress and some sandals..anonymous ppl who are definitely Nigerian because of how they write, just leave this horrible comments. Look anonymous fools..if you have the guts to say what is on your mind..hateful and retarded as it is..have the balls to put ya name on it na. Why do you have to comment at all? Just read and be disgusted privately to yourself. Why comment? Who cares about what you think.

Let's not even talk about hateful people on discussion boards that will remain nameless because it just doesn't even deserve any attention so let's not give it. How do you expect other people to treat you if you cannot treat your own fellow man with some level of respect? I've never felt so ashamed as when i read someone's comment to the effect of "and these are supposed to be the future mothers of our children". I felt that..I felt ashamed because at the very least I'm guilty by association.

My fellow Nigerians, I'm just venting and there is no moral of the story. The blame falls squarely my shoulders for allowing things to degenerate to this level. So hunker down folks. Make sure you get to the airport extra early. Pack light, dress warm, and be patient because it's going to be a long, long nightmarish flight from here on out. No you cannot bring egusi,garri or any other foreign looking foods because it will most likely not make it through. Yes you have to buy your ogbono from the African store and it may taste like soap.

I feel torn between what I should be doing and what I want to do. And because it's more practical and realistic to continue what I should be doing..what I want to do will probably never get done.

I'm also sorry that my only solution involves homicide.

Sighs... I think in this blog I've gone through a range of emotions..anger mostly, then sadness, then hopelessness and now...back to HOPE!!!!

Because where there is life there is HOPE and if I can't do any grand sweeping gestures to bring about rapid and positive change globally, I can try to be the best ME i can be..the best Christian, daughter,granddaughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, aunt, student,driver,roommate,niece,blogger that i can be. Shikena!

Taking Stock 2010 -1

2010-01-02T19:29:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year people. I wish for everyone...good health, lots of happiness, lots of inspiration and lots of success..Ami Ami!!!!!

Yes people..i am late. but I also kinda feel like i'm not yet mentally in 2010. Yes I will copy copy and follow follow!! I'mma try and do this stolen post justice by being as honest and open as i can..:)

FAITH:
I definitely waxed and waned on this one. It's like Paul said in Romans..." I want to do good, but I find that I end up doing the evil that i don't want to do instead of the good that i want to do"...or something along those lines. I had some good months where i steadfast about everything...although I confess that I didn't go to church as much as I would have liked to and would like to change that this year.All in all sha..God remains faithful and I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My prayer everyday is for God to give me enough strength to go through just that one day as the best person I can be..
My goal for 2010 is to 1. Actually read the bible cover to cover 2. Go to church more 3. Continue to grow as a christian

FAMILY:
I loves my fam. Immediate and extended. I say often that our relationship grew better as we all finished school and spread across the country. Lol..but I wouldn't trade any of them crazy girls for anyone else. All 4 of em. :D I would do anything for them girls. My parents and I have a pretty good relationship i think. Definitely a growing relationship but I have come to accept them as human and realize that they too can make mistakes. With the arrival of my first nephew I realized that my sister is a great mommy and my parents are great grans and I'm trying to be the best darn aunt i can be. My goal for 2010 is to keep in touch better with my extended family wherever they are. I think I'm the only one on the planet that doesn't have peezy.

FRIENDSHIP:
See that word friendship got some feelings hurt in the '09. I think it's really hard for me to make new friends mainly because i am shy and introverted :D *blush*. Unless I'm forced to..i probably wouldn't put myself out there to make new friends. I'm glad to say that in the '09..i made some new friends..and didn't lose any friends and I got out of making some bad friend decisions thankfully. My goal in '010 once again is to keep in touch better with my friends which shouldn't be hard to do..i don't have that many.

FINANCES:
I admit that i'm not really conscious about my finances..i work/go to school..get money..pay my bills...save some..and use the rest to live. As long as I am saving money every month, I usually don't pay too much attention. My goal was to go back to school with minimum debt so other than my student loans and my car note I don't have any major gbese. My goal for 2010 is to save more!

EDUCATION/CAREER PATH:
I decided to go back to school in '09 for a host of reasons. My main concern was not wanting any extra loans..and getting into a school that would justify me leaving my awesome job. But with the economic crisis ..turns out even my job wasn't that stable anymore. As God would have it...I ended up getting into some of the top schools in the world for my program..and they're paying for it! *does a jig* I also got to move to a new state...which is always nice. My goal for 2010 is to finish my 1st year of grad school intact and pass my oral exams in Jesus name!!

RELATIONSHIPS:
I think that my relationship had a good year. Definitely the most comfortable I've been in a relationship. Also the longest I've been in a relationship. Once we decided to just dig in our heels and resolved to make things work..and once I learned to let go of some things..I think I got a lot happier. I'm excited for what 2010 has to bring and my goal is to just keep working at it.

PHYSICAL HEALTH/GENERAL WELL BEING:
Ahem...Ok so i pride myself is having this amazing immune system. But towards the end of the year..i had some supposed stress related issues that are working themselves out. The funny thing is that i don't even think i'm that stressed out anymore. But God dey. Before I stopped working..i made sure to get all my medical stuff taken care of. As far as physical health..ahem..ok..i honestly actually like working out..I also just like eating :D. I've just never really put the eating well/working out plan together and been consistent at it. My goal for 2010 is to get some washboard ab situation going :D

ADDICTIONS/BAD HABITS/SOCIAL LIFE:

I don't think i'm addicted to anything per se. I think the internet is the ultimate time waster and i need to limit my exposure to it. My number one bad habit is procrastination. I have tried making to do lists and that helps me because I get pretty disappointed when i don't accomplish all the tasks on my list. And consistency..being consistent with stuff..
Social life ke? I have no life..my life during the week consists of school, lab and studying..during the weekends if I'm lucky not to have much to study for, I'm trying to recuperate for the week. I'm not really into partying much..plus as soon as it got cold everything went by the wayside.
My goal for 2010 is to limit my access to facebook. Only go on the internet when I need to and when I'm done studying and to explore more.

There you have it.
Hope everyone had a wonderful new year's eve. I'm thankful for every single one of ya and y'alls comments and such and like i said before..I which you all a wonderful year with all God's blessing and trimmings!!

'Tis the season..

2009-12-19T18:18:00.005-05:00

Hola mi amig(o)as,

What's the deal? It's snowing!!! 12 inches abi 14 inches! (That's what she said!:D lol)
I'm getting to that point where I realize that the year is over. Another year is over! and i try to take stock of where I was when the year started and where I am now. Hmmmm...:)
And regardless of what goal,dreams and wishes that were not accomplished,realized or granted...I thank God for being the one constant, unchanging factor in my life. Even when I stray..which I do a lot.

This is my first Christmas away from my family in 26 years..weird! SUPER WEIRD

I really dont have anything to say...but i figured since I ain't blogged in a while might as well say something...

So i found out that i have been completely dumb about reading the bible. I haven't read the whole bible but I also dont think I've read any book of the bible in context. It's horrible i know, but i figure better late than never. Normally, I read like a chapter right..based on a devotional and just lean on the devotional for interpretation, or try and figure it out as it applies to me. What I've been forgetting is that the books of the bible are actual BOOKS..with purposes, beginnings, middles and endings and if i start reading something from chapter 12 of course it won't make as much sense as from chapter 1. Blogville no yab me o! Mehn! I've been having some serious blond moments lately but God dey!

Off on a tangent, I'm so guilty of looking into ppls carts when i'm grocery shopping to see if they have something that i've never tried and might like....so in that spirit and in the spirit of Santa..here are a few things that I discovered this year and absolutely love!!
1.A Perfect World™ Antioxidant cleanser with White Tea..it smells soo good and works soo well. They claim it helps detoxify the skin and stuff.
2.Modern Friction™ Nature's gentle dermabrasion..i use this like once a week as an exfoliating scrub thingie. I only got it cuz I had a gift card and the lady did a demo on my hand it it felt amazing. Smells good too!

3.Victoria's Secret PINK® Supersoft Body Lotion Fresh & Clean: I just like it cuz it comes in a big-ish container and it smells good :D
4.Bath & Body Works® Signature Collection:Triple Moisture Shower Cream
Warm Vanilla Sugar®...smells like dessert!! :D
5.Really good for sealing in moisture especially this winter
6. Dior Addict 2: my fave..now empty..and NOBODY IN THE WORLD SEEMS TO HAVE IT anymore!! How rude!

How about youse guys? what are some things you absolutely love and can't do without? Share..maybe i might like it too.

What turns me on...

2009-12-04T13:40:00.003-05:00

.............
ok fine you got me!! there is nothing remotely sexy about this post..it essentially degenerated into a random-type post during the week. I'm sorry *hangs head in shame* I have lured you here under false pretenses.. however since ya already here..might as well read innit? :D

1. For the past two days..I have had garri and ogbonno soup for breakfast :D. Repping that true naija girlness!! I don't know why, that just seems to be all i crave in the morning..I'm talking 8am! and it actually keeps me for a while seeing as i don't get to eat lunch anytime before 3. And it's yummay!!

2. The only reason why the aforementioned breakfast of champions sucked was because I had a session with my tutor *blushes* and I already think he's pretty cute and such a freaking nice guy..and me without gum or mouthwash. Damn...

3. I was half scared that he would think i was just the dumbest person on the face of the earth..like i was so frazzled i didn't know what element "I" was (it's iodine btw). And i never said chemistry was my favoritest subject. Anyway...he was cool and i understand stuff so much better now!

4. I found out he was my tutor on like Tuesday and I was gushing about it to my friend who says "I don't understand how you can get turned on by brain"..(insert your dirty joke here..c'mon you know you want to)...
i digress...anyway..i was like..in my mind.."what else IS there?". I mean looks will fade and money really just doesn't do it for me but the two things that turn me on are a sense of humor and smarts (both of which my boo got plenty of..but this is not about him). I mean if this dude was tall to boot...i would be a puddle of just teenage girl crush gushiness!! Alas..he has a very lucky girlfriend. BOOOO!!!
HIISSSS!!

5. In true random fashion..if i could be any element, I'd want to be Helium :D no reason in particular

6. So I'm bummed!! just found out that the person i wanted to do my next rotation with can't take me, for a bunch of very valid reasons but that doesn't mean that i can't still pout about :( so that's what i'm doing! POUT POUT POUT!!!!

7. So i watched New Moon with Eggs...:) and um i don't think I'm going to see anymore of the saga..the acting was just too freaking corny for my taste..my imagination was way better!!

8. I was listening to Rhianna "rehab" the other day and damn that girl CANNOT sing!! I think what had saved her so far was the the songs were catchy..but enh..her new stuff is just crap!! BOOO! to you Rhianna!

9. I saw Kelly Clarkson's video for "gone" or "already gone"..the new one and I'd heard the song and liked it..i just like it all over again. It's sad really..the song is about loving someone and having to let go or something like that..i forgot..but it reminded me of the Nick Lachey song that goes
"we built it up to watch it fall, like it meant nothing at all..i gave and gave the best of me..couldn't give you want you need..blah blah blah...I can't hate you anymore"
And i just decided that love is complicated oh. T'aint easy!

10. My nephew says my name!!! lol..he says Hi Kate!! it's so cute! I miss him. wish i could visit for keresimesi but na money kill am :(

11. I was talking to someone about free-spirited, go-where-the wind blows and I just realized that I don't think I've ever not made a planned out decision (I know man proposes and God disposes) but...i don't think I've ever been able to not try to plan things out just the way i think it could work or should be. I've always had plan B's i think. I guess the only non plan B type decision people like me get to make are regarding love and marriage

12. So i'm on this new quest to grow my hair since i had braids in it for *ahem months and i thought it would all fall off but it didnt..so naturally i googled how to make hair grow..and i'm a believer. I dont even want long long hair sef..cuz i think i have pretty ok..medium length thick hair..i just want to see how long it can get. I mean it's pretty logical..my hair grows but it breaks off cuz i dont take proper care of it..so what will happen if i DO take care of it? Stay tuned! My hair idol is this chick...she's cute too... i just want hair that long..no mas!

It's the weekend y'all..it's supposed to snow..plus i have hella catching up to do! i think i might make a nice winter soup or chili for the week. Stay warm and things!!

@Taynement..get a snuggie!!acting like she ain't got ppl on her list waiting for a call that she can holla at! smh *rolls eyes*
No my spellchecker did NOT just spell check my Rhianna!! whatevs!!

Random...or not so random

2009-11-23T00:24:00.002-05:00

Arrrggghhhh...i just wasted a perfect opportunity to tell somebody off even though i was well within my rights to do so and it is pinching me badly!

I suck at keeping in touch but I definitely crave about 6 or 7 tete-a-tetes soon.

I just realized that I do not like rejection..i mean nobody does but yeah..me NO LIKEY.

I'm not ready for a new week...short or not

In this moment I am happy and I feel lucky and i think that's the annoying part is that i'm like if only you knew how I felt...you'd just back the hell off and support me...but you dont..or you dont care

Men it's so foggy out

So i used to be this big ol' ball of emotions, mostly anger/indignation but I think i've calmed down a lot..i still get emotional about injustice,ignorance and just plain stupidity tho...you'd never know it huh? :D

I know I'm biased...and like with Keanu Reeves i have decided that M.I is my one and only favorite nigerian rapper..there is no swaying my vote..except maybe for jesse jagz but even he has to take a backseat to my M.I 99% of the time

I realized on friday that i do not have the stomach for research involving live animals...even mice..it's just so sad..like can you imagine breading thousands of mice only to kill them for research that might not amount to anything? What if someone did that to humans? So not cool!

I tried to make ogbono soup this weekend...it came out as soup..but not the type of ogbono that i'm used to. I know! I know! Shame on me! Help/recipes/video tutorials followed by shipment of samples for taste testing would be appreciated from my correct naija chikitos! Thank ya!

Peace,Love and have wonderful week!

You Just Know

2009-11-11T11:10:00.003-05:00

I have had numerous conversations with friends and family about this whole "you just know stuff" that married ppl be saying after they get married or when they are engaged.

It's almost like marriage is some exclusive cult that brainwashes ppl into that mindset of "we didn't go through any drama, when our eyes met across the crowded room, time stopped, the heavens opened up and we JUST knew that we were meant for each other".

No offense to my married ppl..and I'm sure that there are ppl out there who knew from day 1 and are still happily ever aftering but some "Just Knewers" have to account for the 50% divorce rate in this country and the growing divorce rate in Nigeria..abi?

It actually sort of insults my intelligence when people say that but i think maybe it's that same protein that makes mothers forget what they go through for 9 months and during labor so that they can keep reproducing that makes married couples forget all the fights/make ups and break ups and drama that paved their road to happily ever after.

So here is my take..once again not backed by any proof (as per the brainwashing thing) but feel free non-married and married ppl to throw in your 2 cents..tell me if I'm just bsing. :)

FIRST OF ALL!!! YOU DON'T JUST KNOW...you know ENOUGH
....you know enough to want to stick around and find out where things may lead
....you know enough about yourself to know if the relationship is what you want and the flaws are what you can handle
....you know enough about your partner to know that hopefully, they feel the same way too
....you know enough (if you are spiritual/religious)to know that God definitely has to be involved for it to work
....you know enough to accept that it won't always be cake and cookies but are willing to stick it through the hard times and work things out
....you know enough to know when what you know is not enough..

This is why I believe there is no set TIME to get married, societal pressure and sales rack propaganda be damned. Because if you know that you don't know enough and you too you go jump the broom, better make sure you are spiritual because only God will see you through that relationship...and it just might work.

So why then you ask is this "You just know" idea still being propagated?
Maybe it makes ppl feel better/more certain about their choice..it's a big choice and self-affirmation has been shown to work wonders...who knows.
My prayer for everyone is that they don't "Just Know"...they know "Enough". Just knowing could someday lead to not knowing while knowing enough concedes that you don't know everything.
I know enough to know that I don't know everything and I never will but I think as I've grown up and come to accept this fact,I'm content enough with my lack of knowledge to know when i know enough.

Again no offense to my married ppl o. I love you guys and you serve as huge sources of inspiration for the likes of me!! :)
I was gonna post this on FB..but em..fear con catch me small as i reread am!! Not trynna incur anyone's wrath for speaking my mind albeit Obama 'O8 and junk!! Freedom of speech or no! :)

ps. I was reading RepOne's post about soulmates and I had a response but then i forgot it... let me unclutter my brain from all this learning crap and then it's on and popping!

pps: y'all know the deal...prayers for ya girl tomorrow 2-5pm..it's worked so far, surely it must continue to work! Amen 'Preciates!

ppps: try pink lemonade plus fruit punch plus mountain dew in equal quantities with a hint of ice...magical!!

pppps: Hi Tayney!!!:)

In hibernation

2009-11-03T22:12:00.002-05:00

Hi y'all
I'm commenting on all blogs in spirit
@MPB...i see ya!! LOL..and you are entirely too old to be clubbing..so um please stop
@Tayney: nice randoms...

Ermn...oh yeah
Happy Birthday to the woman who gave me life!! LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!always and forever!!!

So..I'm studying/watching MTV and stuff
I suck at returning phone calls

Back to MTV
based on their appearance on TV
Justin bobby type men are very rampant i think...and sooo annoying!! like ENOUGH with the head games..grow the hell up and stop being such an ass!!
Spencer..lmao...only Heidi's can handle
Poor Audrina....
um...wow...
Women are smarter than all this bullshit aren't we?
But damn our forgiving, nurturing hearts..always willing to give second and seven hundredth chances...ok maybe not all women
It's also scripted and makes for good tv so who knows what goes on when he cameras go off.

New Victoria secret bra instantly adds 2 bra sizes? WHAT? Mgbeks head of the IBTC better get on that o!! I'm copping me two as we speak!!

God forgive me but my whiny roommate just whined my name and i once again pretended that i was listening to something when i'm actually not so that i dont have to hear her whine about the same thing that me i'm studying for.lol

Ugh my hair!! I need dominicans!! soon please!!! somewhere..i'm so tempted to venture towards the hood to see what i can find!

Soooooo..... powdered flax seeds + oatmeal+peak milk + splenda = Omazing!!!

Dear Jon of Jon and Kate plus 8,
if i never heard anything about you in the next second..it would be toooooooo freaking soon..please drop off the face of the earth soon.

Judge Judy is soooo funny i love her

Why didnt anyone tell me how good jerk chicken is?..I had this amazing sandwich and i've been thinking about it since

I admit that..sigh...i'm now on board the indomie train!! yes 50 years later..them things are the ish..with some sardines!!! who knew..i'm still trying to get mines up to par with the master tho!! :)

I want Kristin to show that Justin Bobby boy pepper!!

lol..sorry...mismash at it's best!!
toodles!!

Je vis pour Vendredi!!

2009-10-16T18:08:00.006-05:00

Yayyy it's friday!!!

and Yay!!! I'm a good mood because God is wonderful and faithful and even though my mustard seed faith wavers...He's still faithful. I'm sure He must shake his head at me when I'm being chicken little!

Today is my dad's birthday!...yay!! My dad is awesome and I love him and the sacrifices that he and my momma made for their kids!! I just hope I make them proud! :)

So..yesterday/this week i was all ready to blog about my version of evolution (cuz i don't believe in the current version) and how it applies to interracial dating and marriage..but then SOMEONE!!! told me that I'd gone off the deep end with my stereotypes cuz I've been in isolation...I still think i have something sha..but let me sleep on that a little bit.

I've realized...even though i thought i knew this a while back..than music just makes me happy. I used to love studying to music but then i was scared that i wouldn't be able to remember stuff on exams cuz i wouldn't be allowed to have headphones on..but I can't just not listen to music all together..so now i just listen when I'm walking.
Top 10 on steady repeat (yes they are all old)
1. MI - illegal music - track 2-- the one that goes "i can paint a picture with a pen"
2. MI - illegal music - Gbono fe li freestyle...i love MI!!
3. Lady Gaga - Just Dance...that's the only Lady Gaga song i have on my ipod but it puts me in such a good mood..i ALWAYS dance..regardless of where I am.
4. Good girls go bad! - Starship cobra
5. Superhuman - Chris Brown f. Keri Hilson
6. Maino - All the above
7. Ego- Beyonce...i dunno..i get in these beyonce moods..I'm so going to learn that dance..just cuz i wanna
8. Nickelback - I'd come for you
9. Buy you a drink -the remix with Trey Songz...
10. Redeemer - Nicole C. Mullen...i love the part where she says "Because He lives I can face tomorrow"
Redeemer

Heb. goel; i.e., one charged with the duty of restoring the rights of another and avenging his wrongs (Lev. 25:48, 49; Num. 5:8; Ruth 4:1; Job 19:25; Ps. 19:14; 78:35, etc.). This title is peculiarly applied to Christ. He redeems us from all evil by the payment of a ransom (q.v.). (See REDEMPTION.)
deep stuvvs!

11. Use somebody-Kings of Leon..but it's not on my ipod
@Mgbeks..i was gonna comment on ya blog about the whole running thing..I dunno about no marathon status type running yet (been scared ever since some 23yr old collapsed and later died running the Baltimore marathon) but...i would love to run the 5k someday. There's this couch to 5k running training type thing that I've been doing..it helps you stay fit and it trains you to pace yourself while running..you should checkirrout if you are interested. Ahem..I'm on week 3..I've been on week 3 for like 2 weeks *blush* don't judge me!! this girl is busy and thangs!!

Errrmmm......hmmm...it's getting cold!! soooo not cool.
Enjoy the weekend folks...stay warm

Standing Up for what you believe in...

2009-10-08T01:26:00.005-05:00

Shall we address why i'm still up at freaking 2:27am even though I have class tomorrow and was twenty minutes late to class yesterday cuz i slept late? Let's not!

Ok...so...CBS has the monopoly on the best reality shows - Amazing Race, Big Brother and Survivor.

I'm not going to go into details but I just watched 3 episodes of Survivor ONDEMAND and can I just say it revived my dwindling hope for black America?
This random dude Ben was calling this black chick Jasmine ghetto trash cuz she was accusing him of bodyslamming her in a challenge. Ben (a bar manager) later called her a bitch and said that she should go eat ketchup sandwiches and drink koolaid.
Enter our hero Jaison...at first i thought he was a proper naija boy..but then he spoke and i was like..."awww man..nah he ain't but he's still cute tho..sans the two toned southern exposure"....

All this while...*Ben and Jaison are on the same team...Jasmine is on the other team..she was visiting their camp for the day*
All this while, Jaison was just quiet, observing..and I'm like "ok i know this is a game..but can my black man please stand up for me?"...(well not me but you get).
So sha...that episode goes by and Ben is still there..Jaison still aint said jack.
Next episode...Ben is even more obnoxious and annoying..or maybe i just really dont like the guy more...and Jaison is like.."dude made some racial comments"..."dude's gotta go!!"
Errbody else including Russell (who is another case) was like "nah men..let's take out a girl and leave him for next time".Jaison is like..."dude's gotta go!"
So they all go to tribal council where they vote...and after some back and forth between Ben and Jaison...Jaison finally gives this speech..speech to rival any and all of Obama and MLK's speeches put together (ok...i'm exaggerating). But seriously...it brought tears to my eyes. I said a special prayer for his parents for raising him right!
He said:

"I just have to draw a line in the sand. And I have to say that there is no 1 million dollars that is worth me sitting up with him anymore. I mean, I sat here and watched him scream at Yasmin at our camp, and over here, saying incredible things. So is there a way to patch this rift? I don't think so. But I'm not going to sit in camp and listen to this guy. I'm just not.You should have some sensitivity to history. And historically when certain comments are made and directed toward certain people it is because of race. If what you're telling me what you said had no racial context, then maybe what Yasmin said is right and you are ignorant.”- Jaison

*guess her name is Yasmin not Jasmine :D

Chineke!! I wanted to applaud!! I was filled with this renewed sense of hope..and pride. That's what we need. More men to stand up for what they believe in. Was Yasmin wrong?..ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY....but that is not the point..let her wallow in her own ignorance. Years from now she will look back and regret her actions..but Jaison never ever will.

So even if RIP Black in America is right and the Jaisons of the world will go on to marry white women..while the Yasmins of the world stay picking no good men and being loud and nonsubmissive...that's ok too. Maybe it's natural selection..cuz i know that regardless of who Jaison marries (as I book my UHAUL to relocate to chitown)..he will instill in his progeny that idea of believing in something and standing up for it!! I hope. In short Jaison is on my prayer list!

About Jaison...Jaison Robinson is a 28 year old law student from Chicago. Undergrad from Stanford. US National Water Polo team :), Loves physical activities *ahem*...plays the piano and the cello...uh...did i mention he was named Mr Califorina by Cosmo in 2006? Oh i didnt? Did i mention that i was relocating to the Chi? LOL!! Trynna find a cuter picture than what's on CBS.com

Life...Love and the Pursuit of Happiness..

2009-10-05T18:26:00.007-05:00

So this post from taynementy got me thinking before..then i put my thoughts on hold until today... These are not long thoughts...just semi-complete..sometimes incomplete sentences..about those three things in the title....

On Life..so the big deal in school today is about one of the 2009 Nobel Laureates for Medicine and Physiology..Carol Greider . They discovered the enzyme telomerase and i had typed stuff about it but it somehow got deleted and i dont feel like typing it again...it has something to do with cancer and aging...
you know who might have waaay more telomerase than normal people? George Hamilton..like this dude doesn't seem to age!! Has anyone sequenced his DNA? he could be the source of several cures..i tell you..look at his pictures from the '50's, 80's and today...this dude is 70!...then again maybe it's the tanning...and the botox..but even before botox men...!

Anyhoo...Greider is like 48 now with a husband and 2 kids......they made this discovery when she was 23 and in her first year of grad. school....So when i heard..my first reaction was like...good for her..followed closely by a second which was...um..yo girl is 3 years late on the Nobel-worthy discovery tip..but i have twenty two years before i hit that 48 mark!

And then i thought...I mean i would like my work to be meaningful and helpful to mankind..but seriously that's not what gets me up in the morning..I just really want to do the best I can in that one day and make it through the day onto the next. And i want to love what i do. So I'm praying for God's vision and wisdom on that...maybe if i didn't watch so much TV..I'd have more time for other stuff :D

On Love..went to a friend's wedding this past whirlwind weekend..and it was nice catching up with the peeps...and chilling with my neph!!!Every time i see him i want to relocate so i can see him everyday! :( He's barrels of fun!!! Sha sha...the wedding was interesting. The bride was beautiful..her wedding dress was gorgy!! The only lil damper was a lil speech given about the cake before the "first feeding" and how it was supposed to be bringing us...uncouth lil folks a slice of culture by including a leaf covered statue of the Eiffel Tower...end verbal diarrhea....Oh yes! yo girl caught the bouquet!!! LMAO...teeeheee....it was quite comical really...especially when my mom came over to hug me like i had accomplished some feat..when nobody else really wanted to catch it...single ladies be fronting sha!! Moms followed it up by asking me when i was getting married...to which i promptly replied:"two years"...:D. Trust my pops to act like nothing happened!

Sooooo not the point of this paragraph sha.....point was...I know we are all at that age and everythang where...our career goals might be looking like it's getting somewhere...and we are done partying and bs-ing...and therefore...feel the need to jump the broom...but my prayer is that everyone who wants to get married finds the right person to jump the right broom with..not cuz it's the "logical" next step but because that's who they want to spend their happily ever after with. Amen

On the pursuit of happiness...you know what makes me happy? ..every morning at 7am...my alarm is set to 860AM radio..so i wake up to Dr. Robert Cook's "walk with the King"...i thought it was just a 15 minute morning devotional..but apparently I've been missing like 40 minutes of it! Ha!..anyway..i think those last 15 minutes are when he summarizes. I love it because it just puts me in the right mind frame for the day. Instead of rushing to get ready like my roommate (who i beat to class everyday anyway!!)...i get those 15 minutes to relax and reflect on the blessings of the day before and the challenges of the day...

My neph..makes me happy...

My friends and family being healthy and happy makes me happy...

Resto makes me happy...

School....ha! not so much...but life after school definitely makes me happy...

erm...glad to see that some ppl had nice weekends..thanks for the prayers on Friday....I'm sure they were answered.

@Myne..thanks for visiting and commenting!!!

mini rant!!....Guys..you might think you don't have an expiration date..but y'all do...looking like old uncles at the club...if you like don't go settle down and find a wife...when younger girls see you what they're really thinking is "EWWWW..why is this old guy who looks like my uncle trying to holla". And for the love of 1997...please stop posing with fake gang signs and the peace sign..maybe it's just me but the hell!!...stop it!! guys and girls...stop it now!

Now that i have properly wasted 2 hours of my life typing and browsing...i must now go do what I'm supposed to be doing. And i was looking forward to watching Mulan today! :(

Tumbleweed....Echo...Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

2009-09-26T16:46:00.003-05:00

Soooooo..I was about to throw a temper tantrum complete with rolling on the floor, kicking and screaming because ppl have not been updating their blogs!! I mean what the H? Like..i need time wasting things to do but every time i go the blogs..i've already read the most recent update!!
Then i remembered that I hadn't updated in a minute either...teehee! :D Well at least i'm not as bad as some other ppl that haven't updated in 6months (*ahem HauteFaces!! :p)

Not that I have much to update about..these days just seem to all roll into one another...and i do the exact same thing everyday...bleurgh!!...and I dont even get to watch TV.

So I've been praying for serious help..and God has been giving it...but I really need to work on the fact that I just might be really really xenophobic (with the foreigners being everyone that is not me..or related to me..or a friend)...end verbal diarrhea

Again about baltimore: :D specially for you Mgbeks! WTH is up with this nonsense thing that baltimore dudes be having on their chin? 93% of all the black dudes are growing out this unkempt beard mess...like seriously can you maybe get a trim?..or shape it into something neat? it is so disgusting..at first i thought maybe it was just me being overly critical because well...i can be critical...but i've noticed it too many freaking times..it's like that skinny jeans business...can some one say TREND FAIL? EPIC TREND FAIL!! please cease and desist!!! JUST STOP!! EWWW!!

I feel so disconnected from life..I'm hoping to get back to normal soon..be able to watch TV and do blogrounds where i actually comment!!

Tunrayo...keep ya head up!

Oh...bloggers/ppl who just randomly read but dont blog...send a quick prayer up for ya girl this Friday anytime between 2-5pm. 'ppreciate ya.

K...time's up!! Peace

Random Thursdays

2009-09-10T18:56:00.002-05:00

Hey Blogworld..how's it hanging?

So....did everyone else see that worldhiphop.com video of Maia Campbell from "In the House" with LLCoolJ fame? She looked like a straight up crackhead..like i watched all 10 minutes of it with my mouth hanging open...Bonus...Am i the only one who didn't know she was Bebe Moore Campell's..(author who wrote brothers and sisters) kid? Me i didnt know o!

Happy Birthday Taynement...make it a good one

Saw the "Strong Ting" video..hot look..i still dont get the concept. And if i catch anyone copying those dance moves in public..i will castrate them..:o...me i've said my own sha.

Um...one of my teachers is soooo cute! he's this little old argentinian guy with white hair and a comb over..he's alway so well dressed with his cute little brown shoes and get this..he smokes a PIPE he keeps it attached to his waist with another little pouch that i'm guessing is for the tobacco...hehee..if only his cute littleness would make his class/topic more interesting..blech!

I love Friends ..the show..always and forever

@ Nice Anon...I listened to those songs..i think i prefer the one with Kanye better...I also listened to Yori Yori...guess i have to be in the mood for that.

Kudos to Whitney Houston...i'm happy for her.

Life is just a mystery...I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason...and God knows the reason and He doesn't put on us more than we can bear. And life is only a preparation for eternity.

TV is my vice...i was soo much more productive when i didnt have a TV and cable and stuff..damnit it!

Why is Baltimore just THE HOOD? Like why? Why? Just why? Why do i see so many weirdos and crackheads and weirdos!! LIKE seriously?

I can't wait to watch the Princess and the Frog movie!!! Sooo excited.

Why do they show Sonic commercials when there is clearly no Sonic within a 200 mile radius of me? :( stupid commericals

Chicken and arthchoke soup is like..THE business!! just freaking yummy!! *rubs tummy*

K...that's all break's over..bye!!!

2009-08-29T09:49:00.005-05:00

My take on Loving and Being In Love…
In response to MPB’s confusion
…………I’ma preface this by saying that this is one of those rare long posts that I sometimes question publishing because I feel like it’s preachy and who am I? and I know I haven’t made any concessions about other people’s perspectives on the matter but I’m gonna anyways because it’s my blog and I can :). Forgive grammatical errors!

You can be in love with someone and love the person at the same time. There will be cake and ice cream days when you feel like your love makes you superhuman and you can do any and everything. But there will also be broccoli and spinach days when you feel like everything is going wrong and you wonder if you made the right decision because surely “this is not love…I know how I feel when I love someone..I’m happy and they make me happy and I smile and the sun is bright, flowers bloom and birds chirp”. Maybe those broccoli and spinach days are when the true test of love happens..and you either bear down, hold your nose, deaden your taste buds or put some seasoned salt on it and force it down. Because while it doesn’t taste as good..it’s probably better for you..shows you what you are good at..and what you need to work on..and it helps you grow and hopefully grow stronger together.

aside: Facebook is such a double edged sword…it allows people to give others a snapshot into their lives..especially people in relationships and married couples with their “this is the rib of my rib and the bone of my bone” and ”my life is now complete because Chidubem has put me first” notes, pictures and such..so that me I’m here going “FML ! I must be doing something wrong in my life..why is no one trying to claim me as their rib?”…and forgetting that snapshots don’t always tell the story of what reality is…and how much work people have put into themselves and their relationships in order to make it work.

I mean, where exactly is it written that loving someone and being in love with them are ALWAYS mutually exclusive? The whole “I’m in love with someone” feeling or maybe even just the realization of it à la Nice Anon..sometimes catches you unawares..sort of like being blindsided by an 18 wheeler. It crushes you..palms sweaty, shortness of breath, head rush, eyes unable to focus, lightheaded..it’s a very Eureka! moment. It’s even better when it’s reciprocated.

Falling in love is similar to the realization that you have fallen out of love with someone but it also includes nausea, disgust and extreme sadness, physical sickness..sometimes, the thought alone of having to face these horrible side effects makes most people stick it out to endure a long bitter life of regret, unhappiness and what ifs?.….some people don’t cheat at this stage..but some do; hoping to fill the emptiness that now resides inside after the eviction of love. Some people stay together for the kids..but even that love, while momentarily sustaining does not heal a decaying heart. There’s also denial..that sneaky little dirty thing!

Falling in love IS a choice..and so is falling out of love…they are both processes…not spontaneous but gradual..over time. If it is reciprocated, then maybe both parties can agree to work on it constantly so that they can STAY in love…regardless of how many broccoli and spinach days they encounter. I think that falling out love can be avoided if both are willing to do the work. And it is far easier to get a divorce, or break up than it is to do the work.

The only love that is constant and unfailing even at our most undeserving is God’s love for us.

Nerd epilogue: I spent the whole week being taught about how mathematics explains why physics is the basis of every process that occurs in chemistry and how chemical processes are what take place in biology..biology being the science of life. Eventhough they’ve figured all this out..and made up their laws..and all processes obey these laws, at no time did anyone explain to me how the same chemistry and biology that are responsible for putting cells together to form organs like the eyes that have the same function in all creatures with eyes..are responsible for putting together the brain which while it has the same function…almost always yields different personalities in billions of different people. Lol @ ppl always trying to explain away God..yet with every class all I am is progressively filled with awe at what MY GOD can do!

Music makes me lose control

2009-08-19T09:37:00.003-05:00

I'm totally just bumming it...doing absolutely nothing and enjoying the crap out of it...

Jamming to my -badly-in-need-of-an-update-ipod. Men music is soo awesome!! D'y'all ever focus on certain parts of a song and play it over and over again cuz it's just sooo...touching? Not necessarily deep...sometimes it's cuz of the words..other times it's cuz of the artist's voice/delivery..for example

"I am a fighter..i ain't gon stop..there is no turning back..i've had enough!"--Christina Aguilera's "fighter"...am i the only one that develops just the most arrogant lil walk when i'm listening to this song? Yea..probably :) LMAO...ppl that see me probably be thinking..wtf is wrong with this chick?

"..are you waiting for a special occasion

to give me your heart

cuz i need a little confirmation

to make a real start!!...don't wait till it's too late"

....that's from Fefe Dobson "everything"

or

"...i have lost the dignity i had before

trying to pleeeeaassee everybody"--Lucky Dube "slave"..sad stuff..

or

"...it's a little too late for you to come back

say it's just a mistake think i'd forgive like that

if you thought i would wait for you..you thought wrong.."--Beyonce "if i were a boy"

or

"It's ooooooooover..it's ooooover...it's ovverr this time..it's ooooooover...it's oooooovvverrr"--Jesse McCCartney "it's over" as in how many times do I have to say it's over

and for the chops/delivery

Lady Gaga.."Just Dance" ...3:48-3:56 in the video on youtube..it's not overly showy or christina aguilera-ry but something about when she's screaming "Baybay....BAY....BAY..e..yeah!!" just makes me rewind that part over and over again

Jojo..."Too little too lat"..2:40 to 3:00..the song where she goes.."Yeeahhh...OH Lord (i think she says oh lord)...yeaahh yeah yeah yeah...wooo!..laaaayaaeete....yeah yeah...you just like the chase baybay!"

Sometimes...it's not even singing..it's rapping...One of my favorite rappers is Bun B..i think it's just a combination of his voice, how he delivers it and what he's saying... Personally..i think he upstaged Jay-Z on big pimping..then again i'm probably biased..

There's probably a lot more..but that's all i can think of..plus i'm getting distracted by the shuffle.. anyone out there care to share their favorite lyrics/delivery?

Open Letter Version 2.0

2009-08-10T18:53:00.003-05:00

Dear DirectTV...
Everyday is for the thief and one day is for the owner. I own you son!!! Haha...um..my bad i got carried away. Anyway..see me see trouble o, I signed up for directv when i moved to a new place because they were offering lots of orisirisi...6 months of HBO, 3 months of showtime, $200 jetblue gift card, DVR..all for a pretty good deal..or so i thought. All i had to do was sign up for 1 year of service right? So why after my 1 year contract was up did i try to cancel only to find out that while my service contract was for 1 year..the contract with a DVR is 2 years?
Chineke! I'm stuck..to cancel is $280 and i refuse to pay that on principle..I was duped! hoodwinked! Bamboozled! NO FAIR.
Sooo..i called my new place and asked if i was allowed to have a dish and they said no...it's a safety hazard. So what did i do? I called Directv and scheduled a free move..with 3 months of showtime and starz included!
Ol' installation dude shows up and is not allowed to set up..so he calls me
Ol' : hi, you know you're not allowed to have directv in this apartment right?
Me: Huh? No..what do you mean? I can't talk right now..i'm moving!
Ol':well you need to call directv blah blah blah
Me: I can't talk right now..have them call me
So they call me and I pretty much play dumb again.

This story is getting long sha...basic gist..i call them back two days later..they finally agree that there's no "line of sight" so even if i wanted to get dish..i can't. Through no fault of my own.:innocent face:.so my contract has to be cancelled and I dont have to pay no stinking $280. Boooyah!!

Dear Houston,TX.
Why you gotta be so damn hot? From the moment i stepped off the plane..all i wanted was a strawberry slush and a cold cold shower!! WHY? JUST FREAKING WHY? NO air!! Men...however...I did/am having a fabulous time chilling with the neph! he is the cutest thing since ever..he used to have a fauxhawk but he cut it all off now he has this grown man look to him. He's soooo smart too..and he has rhythm.

Dear *bad* lacefront wig houston,tx wearers..(emphasis on bad because not all of them are bad),
Yes..nobody died and made me fashion god...me sef i'm a fashion victim most of the time but damn!! I mean if you're going to have that thing on your head...at least put some effort into making it look..i'm not even going to say real..because..c'mon.. PRESENTABLE. I just weak! Take a class..do something! PLEASE...AND THANK YOU!. Then again..it's probably just me being a weirdo..so carry on.

Dear fake ass mothersuckers in houston,tx..,
you know yourself and i wish i could expose your multiple wife having, system duping, every opportunity to lick ass having selves because i have absolutely zero respect for you. Ppl that you'd never see or associate with all of a sudden showing up at your house because they want to be seen/rub elbows with "influential" ppl..and you are eating the food i lovingly prepared for family and friends..c'mon TA! gbafuo ndi nzuzu!

Um....I've been so out of the blog world loop..i will try to make my rounds when i return back to the real world.

Deuces!

Up..Up..and Awake!

2009-07-25T23:51:00.007-05:00

Urrgghh! don't you just hate when you take long naps during the day and end up waking up at like 9pm and not being able to go back to sleep? Suckity sucks sucks! Thank God it's saturday sha..cuz this wouldn't fly tomorrow o!
So..what does one do when they can't go to sleep? Why blog of course... what to blog about..hmmmnn..*obviously my lazy ass didn't finish this blog till just now..God please help me and my procrastinating ways!7/27*
On the NaS and Kelis thing...BUAHAHAHA...you know..i find it hard to feel sorry for NaS. I mean it's not like Kelis is some gold digging moocher..she actually had a career. But she's never come off as the most stable person ever. Everything could've probably been settled all nicely out of court..maybe he wouldn't have had to end up paying this crazy $55k or whatever..but nooooo!! ppl be doing stronghead..oya now..go pay! You sef you didnt know who you married. Shebi you are God's son..hope you still talk to Him because uh...you're gon need some help with that buddy! *don't know the full story/ details*
So now dudes are getting all upset and crying foul and unfair...DING!DING!DING! fools! since when has the justice system ever been fair talk less of life? :hahaha: PAY SUCKER PAY!!!

On Ryan Gosling..has anyone else noticed how swaggerliciously sexy his walk is? That boy is just all kinds of sexy..in every single movie!..Yum-o! Rachel McAdams is a hottie too! I covet her body. YES i'm watching The Notebook for the 6th time..it's on tv. It's not one of those movies i can watch over and over again..i just watch it cuz the sex scene was hot. :blush:..don't side eye me!! Old age sha...James Garner used to be a hottie back in the day...not as hot as my Paul Newman tho..but aight none the less.

On Marriage..so my buddy just got engaged. Young boy like this! I'm happy for them. So you know how when ppl get engaged you ask them "How did you know she was the one?"..but as per my dude..I've seen and heard all about his conquests and although I've never met her...there's obviously something about her that got him. Is he a different person or has he changed? Nah..i dont think so. I don't think he's settling down because of age or whatever..I think he finally realizes that he's found his better half..abi soulmate so why wait? cute stuff huh?

On Black in America Deux..i totally didnt watch it! *hangs head in shame* but i'm sure i'll catch it sooner or later. But i read (read: skimmed)..an article by Africangal on CNN reporters at large..I think. Where she talked about her experiences and how she feels more comfortable around Africans than African Americans. Ya know..i understood where she was coming from. For the longest time (read: till like last year)I really didn't associate much with African Americans mainly because I had really bad experiences with classmates in high school. And I can't honestly say that if i wasn't thrown into a situation where the only ppl my age in my hood were african american..I still wouldn't have any african american friends..it's funny because one day we were having a conversation..about something and i was adamant about not being called african american. My roommate was like
AA#1 : You're african american..our ancestors are from the same place
Me: Um..probably not..my ancestors never made it onto the boat
AA#1 and AA#2: give each other a look..
WHAT? it's true..obviously my ancestors never made it onto the boat.

It's just really interesting how different my two african american friends are sha..
AA#1 has natural hair, plans to get locks once she's established in her career..is all about black ppl..all their names in their family are apparently afrocentric..only dates black people..went to Spelman..refused to go see Jesus Christ Superstar with me because the guy portraying Judas was black..EVEN THOUGH IT WAS THE ORIGINAL guy that played JESUS that was playing JESUS AGAIN!! GOSH..i still dont get that.

AA#2 gets her biweekly blowouts and perms..is about ppl in general..has the whitest name ever..dates whoever..also went to a HBCU but she did that because she'd gone to all white schools all her life.

But I digress.... the point i was trying to make was "once bitten twice shy"..if i hadn't been put in this situation, I'd have probably never been close friends with any african americans based on my experiences in high school. But I'm glad I was because their friendships have been invaluable.

On my baby turning 1..I can't believe this..my sweetheart..my boojoogooboojoo! My lil nephew is turning one. He's so adorable and i'm upset that i don't get to spend enough time with him. I miss him all the time. I recycle because of him, I'm deeper into my research because of him..I would give my right arm, kidney, lungs, liver, heart..whatever for him. Happy Birthday Googoo!! This aunty right here loves you!!

F.I.V.E that spells 5..credit report.com baby :)

2009-07-23T12:16:00.004-05:00

..shut up...that's how the song goes!!:)

5 things that I would like to do:
1. Take a vacay and do absolutely nothing..
2. Join a dance group..i be choreographing stuff in my head..but when i try it out..it never looks the same..prolly cuz i also envision me as Ciara doing the dances in my head..hmmm that could be the problem
3. Be actively involved in a church..not just sunday sunday medicine
4. Write a book...actually wrote one with my best friend like 14 years ago..geez! i'm old..
5. Visit Europe

5 things that I look forward to:
1. Dessert :D: I'm a chocolate junkie!
2. Summer blockbuster movies
3. Going home after work to watch "Bones": this is a new development
4. Starting a new adventure in a new city!!
5. The next 4.0-infinity years :)

5 things that I’d grab if my apartment caught fire:
1. I guess my cellphone..NO IT'S NOT A BLACKBERRY!! hmmpfff..
2. My laptop
3. My Passport
4. My ipod
5. My purse

5 random things about me:
1. I hate getting in the shower after ppl...ugh..it's all wet and stuff
2. I can usually memorize 85% of a song after hearing it once
3. I love moving..like the whole packing and unpacking process...
4. I'm the funniest person in my family..honest!! so much so that i usually have to copyright my jokes so that my sisters don't take credit for them when they are retelling them later on..they still usually do..monkeys!!
5. I love coming into work every morning...sometimes i dance in to work... :)

5 things that I’m wearing right now:
1. glasses
2. jeans
3. purple tank top
4. brown sweater
5. matching underwear (ha! take that taynement..elevate ya skivvies! )

Psycho-ness or Puppy love?

2009-07-17T19:51:00.006-05:00

So..i've decided to type this whole story in pidgin because some ppl be doubting my skills... i also had two drinks soooo....woooohooooo i feel good!

Anway..so i get this intern..make we call am Blessing. Blessing na proper fine babe and her personality dey shine well well. So..for this summer, she con finish first semester for school early, con start 'in internship but she con be the only ghel wey dey work with plenty plenty intern bobos. So..una know say at this age (na 1st and 2nd year college most of the pikins bin dey finish) ..bobos them get hormones plenty. Con dey dey interested in this my intern because she tall well well, con slender like this..con get personality and i don talk before sey she be fine girl.

Everyday when we dey for work..na so bobos dey con find am..girl go dey sit jejely dey do 'in work na so bobos dey enter for my lab as if na market i dey..dey con disturb the girl..dey siddon dey watch am type. This don they hapun sotey..e get this one boy..make we call am Jason.. Jason be proper shy guy..I mean, the bobo fine and 'in play football for high school but 'in claim sey he no too get friend for high school. That tori sef dey do me one kind because everybody sabi sey football jock for high school dem famous and dem get plenty plenty groupies..i sha leave that side.

So Blessing con take it upon herself con say..make i befriend this boy because 'in want befriend boy make 'in get friends wey be boy but no be in boyfriend boyfriend like that (naive sontin like this!). Na so before you go fit shout jack robinson..bobo con develop feelings for the girl..con invite her to dey hangout. Blessing dey do like pesin wey dey brighteyed and bushytailed..con dey talk say "we're just friends..we can hangout" . Na so bobo take am for dinner..con say..make we go back to my place go watch moofie. Blessing no know sey dis na ambush. Bobo con introduce Blessing to all 'in family.

Make we fast forward two weeks..Blessing go vacation come back. Jason con ask am sey make she comeover so that 'in go make am dinner. At this point..she too con dey think sey bobo no bad..and we con dey hail the guy small small for 'in eye. So Blessing go the bobo house. Bobo con cook am dinner..con light candle..con give am wine (i don't condone underage drinking). After dinner, they con siddon for living room..con dey cuddle..bobo con talk say "Blessing..you be correct babe..everytime i see you my heart dey do me *giddygo-giddygo*..me i like you well well o..you fine, you smart, you get personality wey dey nice"... Blessing con give the guy kiss..

Na so katakata con burst...bobo wey dey enter my lab 3 times a day before now con dey enter 12 times con dey siddon dey do Blessing work. Meanwhile..Blessing come work tell us say she don 4cup because 'in make mistake when 'in kiss bobo. She talk say bobo dey smother am. So she text the bobo and 'in text talk say "I dey very sorry..I no mean give you wrong impression when i kiss you...na situation..make we no do boyfriend and girlfriend again..make we just try to remain friends"

Bobo con vexxxxxxx...con send her 17 texts while she dey work..dey talk say
"Blessing..you no fit understand wetin i dey feel, I bin tink say you care about me...me i care about you well well..but you con hurt my feelings..why you tink sey things no go work...abi you tink sey because you go leave after summer go school e no go fit work?"
"Baybe girl make you at least give am chance..it fit work..this ting wey we get dey very beautiful..i never feel this way about anoda girl before..wetin change between when we dey my house and i dey hold you as you dey look into my eyes and today? Why you dey do me like this?"
All this after one kiss and two dates in two weeks o!!
So the girl con respond con write"i dey very sorry..but i no want again..i just want make i focus on this internship we dey do then i go go back to school..you be nice boy..but i no do again..i just want to be friends"

Bobo no dey come our lab anymore..for one whole week, then yesterday na in bobo con send am email con talk say make them talk face to face..

Na in I come fear..because if after only 2 weeks the bobo dey act like this..me i think say this no be normal young boy thing..this na psycho stuvvs...if una talk say bobo don make shrine for this girl..con dey save strands of the girl hair dey use am chop 'in morning cereal me i go believe o!!
So we advice the girl say make she talk to the bobo..but make she talk to am in public. She con gree...

So today..they go talk for atrium..bobo con talk say in dey sorry for overreacting..that na because of the feelings wey he get for the girl na 'in cause am to behave like that. The girl con say.."it's alright..i dey sorry too..but maybe we suppose take some time before we go try to be friends sef"
the bobo con talk say 'in no like that but e go respect im wishes... but make 'in suggest that make them no just be friend..'in no want put label on the thing but 'in want for them to be more than friends.
Blessing con talk sey " i no dey do wishywashy stuvvs..na only definite stuvvs..and i only wan do definite just friendship with you".....
na so we see am o my people..
Me i talk sey this boy dey just a little bit too psycho...others dey talk say na puppy love. Wetin una think?

:D How was my pidgin?

See me see trouble o!

2009-07-15T14:14:00.003-05:00

So in the summer of '05..i worked at a boy's and girls club summer camp with a bunch of bad ass kids.. I just found this ahem..email correspondence with one of my students...

Young Boywrote:Mrs. Kate i know you are 22 years old but you are very pretty and i know i am very young but age is not nothing but a number
Me: Mrs. would imply that i was married, which i'm not. Thanks for the compliment :) age aint nothing but a number but 16 is a really small number
Young Boywrote: so what you trying to say that i am very young i know that so how many times you going to throw that in my face. Ps.Where (s'posed to be we're) on the internet so i cant get in trouble for what i say on here so tell me what is on your mind.
Me: nothing is on my mind....um and yeah u can't get in trouble period....i can

see me see trouble..boy trynna make me look like a pedophile and ish!! I only got his email address because I offered to help them with any homework problems they might have... :o.

Anyhoo..just a random flashback
what's hood ppl?

Open Letter

2009-07-14T13:19:00.005-05:00

Dear VH1,
How’s tricks? Good..good. Say..did humanity as a whole do something to offend you in your past life? Don’t get me wrong, I mean at first..it was all fun and games..Flavor of Love was comical…as was Celebrity Fit Club. I admit that I also watched the Surreal Life and My Fair Brady. BUT..VH1…you’ve gone too far. TOO FAR SHEY YOU’VE HEARD? In less than 10 years..you have managed to generate so many craptacular shows that have skyrocketed people to stardom who have no business being anywhere near a camera and people who left to their own devices would probably be in charge of the fry station at What-A-Burger (don’t get me wrong..ain’t nothing wrong with honest work). When pray tell..is all this foolishness going to stop? I’ll even give you For the Love of RayJ because Danger smashing the homies was funny but you should be shot for all the I Love Money seasons..as well as letting this fool! (below) ever get 1..talk less of 4 shows. Who pitches this stuff? Who accepts it? All involved parties need to be shot!
Rock of Love 1 &2? Daisy of Love? Charm School 1 &2? Brooke Knows Best? Breaking Bonaduce? (ok..that was a pretty sad show sha)…Miss Rap Supreme..with Kaia (seriously wth was that about?..and the one eyed chick?!)..Gotti’s way? I Want to Work for Diddy? Scott Baio is 45 and single..and 46 and pregnant? OMG Real Chance of Love?

Seriously..somebody needs to talk to you guys about this nonsense..this ish has to stop. And you have the guts to claim you are trying to Save the Music? Meanwhile I have to suffer through the same 3 recycled music videos every freaking morning. Y’all ain’t trynna save no damn music..you’re busy auditioning those kids for your next generation of 15 minute entertainment cash cows and to fill up your future shows. Your new craziness is Megan wants a millionare..and you have now inspired BET to just sign up every baby mama and reformed crackhead off the street for their own shows.. I mean heck..I could get my own freaking show!! Me & the Carnies taking up residence in the open field next to my apartment...it would be a hit!!! :o.

VH1...please..sometime in the near future..you gotta stop. Let scripted reality finally rest peacefully in it's grave.

Dear John Gosselin,
Let’s skip the formalities shall we? I understand that life is not always easy. And that things don’t normally go the way we plan. I even understand that you sorry excuse for a father…who at 22 decided along with yer crazy bride that it was OK for you to have in vitro fertilization..are human after all. However..explain this to me ok..explain to me why after citing being followed 24/7 as the partial cause of the demise of your marriage you decide that the next logical is to carry you and your doobie smoking homewrecker of a girlfriend to paris to pose for pictures? Shouldn’t you be in the nearest rabbit hole hiding out away from the press for all eternity? I hope Kate jacks you for every single Audigier cent you get you spineless loser!!! Ode mumu!!!

Ooooh..yeah, i wish you happy birthday..ooooh yea..very many many happy returns :)

2009-07-13T23:18:00.002-05:00

To the person who has been responsible for:
- 55% of my smiles
- 70% of my laughs
- 40% of my motivation
And who has 100% of my heart..100% of the time
Amazing,supportive,caring,brilliant,kind,loving,thoughtful,sexy,intriguing, funny,i nspiring, special, talented, always-in-my corner, everything I ever thought I wanted and needed…through everything..I wouldn’t change anything because I cannot...will not imagine being on this journey with anyone else.
As you begin another year…may your life be continually enriched with all the joys and successes and accomplishments that you deserve. May God continue to pour out all His love and wisdom and blessings upon you!!! Know that for every second of the next 365 days till forever that you are loved!! Happy birthday babe!! Muah!!

Unwritten

2009-07-13T12:26:00.002-05:00

Aight...guys and girls of blogworld
We all know that there are unwritten rules about dates exes friends.
Stemming from another conversation I had with my girl..she was so nice as to list which of her exes I had permission to date and which ones I didn't..lol..how nice of her.

Girl Rule states: Under no circumstances are my friends ( friends ranging from my best friend from the womb to the lady i gave gum to on the bus that one time) allowed to even sniff in the general direction of not just someone i dated but anyone that i have a crush on.

Guy Rule states: I would appreciate a heads up from my friends if they are interested in my ex..but only exes that i was really serious about..i think..correct me if I'm wrong.

I guess my issues with either version of the code is this:
Ladies...
1. What if this your friend and your ex are meant to be..like soul mates etc etc? Eventually you're either going to have to deal with it or remain bitter about it and that doesn't do anybody..especially you any good.
2. What if the dude is seriously like actively pursuing you and disregarding the obvious unwritten code? Actively as in constantly calling and all up in your grill..and the attraction is mutual....What do you do?
3. Is there an expiration date on this you can't date my ex ish? Like what if you are happily married with 3 kids..can your friend date your ex now? I mean you've obviously found your own soulmate
4. Say you "come to terms with it eventually" would you show up at their wedding? be Godmother?
Fellas..
1. Why does it appear to be easier for guys to let go/grant permission?
2. Does this mean y'all are less attached to exes than girls? Or maybe less territorial?
3. Why would you actively pursue your ex's bff even after you know about the unwritten rule?

All:
Has anyone ever found themselves in this situation? If yes..would you admit to have been kinda scoping out the friend b4 you and your girl/you and your guy broke up?

Personally sha, I've never consciously put myself in any of these situations. Whether I've unconciously landed into a similar situation is a story for another day :)

Just Ranting

2009-07-07T22:01:00.003-05:00

I know facebook is the new marketplace/venue for expression and I admit that i've been on both sides of the fence with these MJ status updates. On one hand i'm like ok this is incessant but on the other ..all the negative comments and ppl complaining about ppl making a big deal and about other ppls comments just freaking pissed me off.
I'm like YOU WISH THAT IN YOUR LIFETIME YOU ACCOMPLISHED AN OUNCE OF WHAT THIS MAN ACCOMPLISHED IN 50 yrs. You wish that in your lifetime you made such and impact on so many ppl in so many different places. How about you try effecting some change in the world instead of coming up in hear criticizing ppl trying to pay tribute to Michael. WE LOVE HIM..we appreciate his impact as a musician, acknowledge the problems he had..and celebrate him as a humanitarian..so kindly back off!!!
Before it was "cool" for celebrities to be humanitarians...Michael been don did it.
No other artist..EVER..in the history of the world..has sold as many records as he has.
And i'm totally speculating and I hope i'm wrong..but if his kids are not his biologically then all that talent, that heart, that everything has been totally wiped off the face of the earth...never replicated..Michael Jackson...the legend..is extinct. But that's ok because his imprint will be on this earth forever.

I honestly did have more rants..but i'm watching this Michael Jackson memorial and i think i've finally accepted that he's gone. Wow.
From nothing....FROM NOTHING!!! to the legend.

My name is Kate...and i confess

2009-07-02T13:55:00.004-05:00

..that while i find it repulsive to walk past a guy and look back and catch him staring after me..i find it mildly "ego-reducing" when i walk past a guy and i turn around to catch him NOT staring!!

..that..(piggy backing on the 1st one)...it really is much less repulsive if the dude looks like say Idris Elba vs. if he has a six-headed bald head like neyo and a body like Kevin James.

..that while i'm an independent woman *car i'm driving..i bought it, rock i'm rocking i bought it..house i live in i rented it* and stuff, I find it extremely sexy when I don't have to bring out my wallet to pay for stuff that i want but don't need when i'm out and about with my boobookins.

..that once again..while i can pay for my own drink and stuvvs...really fellas? You cannot expect to sit beside me and "conversate" with me without at least OFFERING to buy me a drink. 50% of the time i'll probably say no sha.

..that as enlightened and "secure" as i feel, I still check out chicks and compare especially physical attributes. I mean yeah your boobs are bigger than mine and you got a lil more booty than i do and stuff...or you are so freaking gorgeous and we thank God for you but damn..throw me a bone. Can i get you to develop a flaw?....halitosis? shemale? dumb as rocks? can't cook? farts in sleep? something!! :o

..that as much as it is not in my nature to be the jealous type in relationships..i slip up sometimes. This probably goes hand in hand with me being territorial.

..that..I LOVE...love LOVE kids.. and i was thinking about it this past weekend when i was chilling with a bunch of cuties..I'm ready to have kids. I mean my current situation might not allow it but mentally I think i'm there..eek!!

...that as much as i hate smelling cigarette smoke..(and this is probably gross)...i love the smell of alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke on guys' breaths.. eww right? Dunno..some ppl like the smell of toe jam..i like that smell..sue me.

...that while I accept that change is good and change is inevitable...i sometimes get gripped by these little mini panic attacks about this next stage in my life coming up.

...that ok i admit, i'm not the world's best dancer but I can hold my own on the dance floor..with white folks..in this rinky dink town..where no one really dances..and our "club" is inside a Holiday Inn....sooo i kinda don't want to be knocked off my throne as self proclaimed best dancing queen but i'm sure that i will be when i move! hmmpfffh!

...that i really have a problem with guys calling women bitches..or hoes..but i still listen to some songs that do..and i'm not really a feminist by any stretch of the imagination. Don't have a problem with girls calling other girls bitches or hoes tho..hmmm...

...that's all folks!!

Right to be wrong...

2009-07-01T10:13:00.006-05:00

See me see trouble o blogville..

aight so..for one reason or another I seem to have lost touch with my exes..but I also just happen to still be friends with their friends...weird stuff

And one said friend just informed me that my ex (first boyfriend) got engaged to his girlfriend...i think they've been dating for about 5 years..so i guess she was his girlfriend after me.
Now..we broke up for several reasons some of which i'm not proud ..like HWNSNBM, it was long distance..i was young and i was in college so i was broke too.. in a year or a year and a half i only saw him like three times. I also did not see myself getting married to him..these are my reasons for ending the relationship. The defense rests.

Anyway sha..i digressed..point was i had this conversation with the friend

Him: Xyz is engaged...he proposed to his girl
Me: oh for real? I didnt know sha..
Him: what do you mean you didnt know? It's all over facebook
Me: I'm not facebook friends with either one of 'em
Him: wow Kate..you just amaze me
Me: wth?..what did i do?..i don't talk to either one of them..haven't for at least 2 years
Him: but you guys used to be in love
Kate: *rolls eyes*..."see excuses above...i mean i loved the guy...i know i wasn't in LOVE with the guy..I was 18..gimme a break"
Him: even if..my point is you guys cared about each other..my ex just had a baby and i hadn't spoken to her in years but i called her and said congratulations
Kate: ok..that's you, and you dated that chick for like 4 years...i just don't think that me saying anything adds or takes away from their happiness it hasn't for 5 years why should it now?..especially when they didnt tell me about it. That chapter in both our lives has been long closed and done with..

But seriously tho..am i in the wrong? Some ppl agree with me..and I dont think I should say anything..it doesn't remove anything from my life..but it doesn't add anything either. I mean yeah...good for them, if i see them i'll say congrats but I'm not sure that I want to go out of my way to say something to either one of them.

Randomizing

2009-06-26T10:01:00.006-05:00

“…to a man whose music, talent, genius, and grace entertained us, comforted us, and lifted our spirits time and time again. His sounds: the soundtrack of generations. Sometimes his talent and successes made him appear more than mortal – but death snaps us back to the stark reality. You’ll be missed, Michael. Thank you for a lifetime of selflessness, and a message of hope and healing to our world.. Thank you, Michael. Rest in peace…”--borrowed

Can I confess that I wasn't the biggest Michael Jackson fan? I mean i loved his music but compared to some of my friends and even my youngest sister...i barely scratched the surface. I never really followed any of the controversy surrounding him and any new weird thing he did i normally just chalked it up to him being eccentric. He is a legend..and he will be missed..

I've purposely not watched the news much or listened to the radio or mtv because i know it's all MJ stuff. I want to keep my memory the way it is.

I never finished that "Don't sweat the small stuff" book..it just got sappier and sappier. I try to read it from time to time tho

I'm trying to hook up my intern with this other cute german intern who as it turns out..also thinks she's cute..but now he knows that i know that he thinks she's cute..and obviously i told her..crap i shouldn't have told her...so me introducing them would just be weird.... screw it..i'll just introduce them *update...i just introduced them...and it was pretty awkward..but being the bubbly person she is..she was able to make it work*

So...did you know that drinking water is good for you because it helps your kidney perform it's duties of flushing out urea abi uric acid and allows your liver to do it's job of breaking down fat and getting rid of toxins as well? I didn't

I feel slightly stressed...but i'm trying not to sweat the small stuff...so stress?? what stress?

I love my intern...she keeps me young. She's such an awesome young lady.

I hate Nigerian english!!! ARRGGGHHHH it is so annoying..in the time you type "wunda"..you coulda typed "wonder" or "bn" ..."BEEN" "dese" .."THESE"

These last days are like playing chess..i stay trying to predict our opponents moves before they make 'em

These ppl don messed up our team..it's like distintegrating a team the season after they make it to the finals and expecting the same results the next year.

I like how you try to help me de-stress by cracking jokes.

I miss my paul....needs to hurry up and come back jare!

I cant wait to fall in love..with you..you can't wait to fall in love..with me..this just can't be summer love.
I have to be like the laziest blogger ever...ever...

Vamos a tequila, senorita, bonita
I really need it now
I aint got no tengo dinero, camarero
Say can we work it out

It's summer...and it's beautiful out...have good weekends ppl!

Personality Type a la Dr. Fisher

2009-06-20T22:17:00.010-05:00

Found this on someone's blog..looked interesting..decided to take it
I think it's pretty accurate...kinda funny..and interesting..lol!!

Kate..., you are an

You are very curious and you love adventure, either or both intellectual and physical. So when you get interested in something, you can become extremely focused on it, sometimes to the exclusion of all around you. You pursue your interests thoroughly, too, often with originality and exactitude.You are adaptable, competitive and a problem-solver, as well as skeptical, tough minded and determined. Because you have a lot of energy and tend to be enthusiastic about your theories and projects, you can be very persuasive. You are eager to make an impact on those around you, too, as well as in the wider world.You are irreverent and highly independent. So you can be oblivious to authority figures, as well as to rules, schedules and social customs. And although you enjoy people and can be charming and humorous, you are not interested in routine social engagements or anyone whom you regard as boring. Instead, you seek stimulating and focused conversations; and you are comfortable being by yourself, pursuing your own many interests.Of all twelve (primary/secondary) types, you are also the most sexual-because both dopamine and testosterone stimulate the sex drive.*woohooo JACKPOT*!!

· Novelty seeking
· Impulsive and spontaneous
· Curious
· Creative
· Flexible
· Open-minded
· Energetic

· Decisive
· Focused
· Analytical
· Logical
· Competitive
· Self disciplined
· Independent

As an Explorer, you look out not in; you are foremost interested in the world around you. So you are attracted to a mate who is also intellectually and physically adventurous and interested in dissecting this complex, tangible universe. You particularly like imaginative and theoretical people, a "mind mate." And you like a partner who is sexual, because you regard sex as an important aspect of a relationship. You have nerves of steel and thrive on the edge. You are also decisive and direct. So you are unconsciously drawn to those who can balance out your highly independent and tough-minded spirit--those who are novelty seeking, yet compassionate, verbal, intuitive, trusting, flexible and emotionally expressive. hmmm...i dunno i'm undecided bout this

You like to have good conversations on important topics; so people tend to admire you for your knowledge and innovativeness. You shy away from emotional or self-revealing conversations, however; introspection leaves you cold. Instead, you derive intimacy from doing things with friends or a partner. So you make an exciting, although at times aloof, companion.

· You can be highly emotionally contained, even pretending that you are fine when you are in deep psychological or physical pain.
· You become impatient with cautious people or wordy conversations.
· You can become so wrapped up in your own interests that you spend too little time with your partner.

You tend to naturally gravitate to EXPLORER/negotiators.

fun
energy
adventure
new
active
passion
outgoing
traveling
spontaneity/spontaneous
ambition/ambitious
real

geek
debate
challenge/challenging
politics
nerd/nerdy
intellectual
intelligent/intelligence
driven

Life is what happens when you're having your first triple kiss...

2009-06-15T17:34:00.002-05:00

dr. nick> : HI EVERYBODY /drnick>
Forgive the unstructured randomness of it all...

Shey we all know that God is good?
Just yesterday..i was rejoicing with my friend about how God takes care of His children and while it is in our nucleus to worry, sometimes it just gives you really bad diarrhea and a tension headache.
My lil sister spent a fabulous week with me...and she she probably did not have a lot of fun during the week so i owed her a visit to the big apple on the weekend.
Naturally..we had to go clubbing and we ended up at Touch...pretty nice spot..definitely the place to be if you plan on going deaf early. Not too packed..excellent music sets minus the techno parts. We were sha chilling o..dancing ***they had a nice mix of old school and new school*** when out of nowhere this japanese couple decides to approach me and ask me to take part in their make out session. And me being who i am...obliged :)
Aight that's not how it happened...I was jejely dancing by myself my back facing this asian couple that were definitely very meticulously tongue-flossing each other's teeth when all of a sudden i find my back being used as a wall upon which japanese chick was leaning against whilst her lover flossed and groped at her...if i had turned around slowly..i'm sure i would have been entangled in their nasty little PDA session.
EWWW ppl the club is not your bedroom..please keep that stuff at home!!! and learn to dance to the beat!

Meanwhile...dont you just love it when you come into work on monday morning and the first thing you hear is that your department has been eliminated. Your boss transferred to another department and your position will be non existent in 45 days!!!
Yep..that's Life.
This is where the God is in control part comes in. The same God that directed my eyes to apply for this position three years ago is the same God that planted/sent someone to plant the idea in my head to apply to graduate school even though i didnt think I would ever get in is the same God that must have seen to it that not only did i get into schools...I got into two of the best schools in the world..is the same God that will see me through the next 4 (yes!!i claim it!! in Jesus name) years.

That that my friends is why God is good..and always in control even when we think nothing is going on..or delude ourselves into believing that we can worry problems away.

Hello blogville..thanks @Rocnaija and NiceAnon for checking up on a sister..me i just dey...same old...nothing new...boring ol me.

Scream!!!***

2009-05-25T21:11:00.005-05:00

Random stuff...
Sighs...so i'm watching Jon & Kate plus 8 and they just showed the kids 5th birthday. Jon and Kate are pretty much not speaking to each other. It hurts me..like my heart hurts... It goes back to my cheating question. I've heard Jon say something about "the grass being greener". I'm sorry..i dont get it, i just don't.
Even if nothing happened..just the fact that you put yourself in that situation. He seems so nonchalant...maybe i'm being really hard on him and looking at it from the woman's perspective.
He wants to quit the show..she doesn't because she doesn't think it will solve anything or fix the situation...AND because they have no other source of income.
How do you go on from something like this? How do you move past it.

The Nigerian in me...maybe the christian in me just believes that they need to turn back to God. It's just awkward..even for me watching. My prayer..and I will pray everyday for them..is that they fix their problems and stay together as a family. Amen

In other news..in the same vein
I hate self-help books. I believe that the only self-help book i need is the bible. I've read a couple.."Who moved my cheese" and "The Alchemist" at different stages in my life and I like them because they are short and sweet but the message resonates. However, lately, i've been noticing a slight change in my general persona/outlook on life. I think it slowly crept up on me. I think i'm overly worried and concerned about things going on in my life...about my future...my relationships etc. So I picked up another "self-help" book "Don't sweat the small stuff..and it's all small stuff". At first, I was reading it like a novel and i realized that I wasn't really absorbing it. So i decided to read a chapter or two a day. I think that definitely helped me. And when i start sweating the small stuff...i try and remember to apply what i've read that day.
I'm in a sharing mood so i'll highlight what i've learned so far.
1. Don't sweat the small stuff: don't get worked up about things that are really not that big a deal.sounds easy enough eh?...we'll see how that goes
2. Make peace with imperfection..i think i've long given up attempting to be perfect..next!
3. Let go of the idea that gentle, relaxed people can't be superacheivers:never thought that sha
4. Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking: I am soooo guilty of this..i think.."well what if i do this..or this happens...and that just develops into a whole messy situation...and this all happens within the walls of my mind, sometimes it escapes and causes even more trouble. His advice is to notice when this is happening before your thoughts build momentum and will yourself to stop. Trust me..i tried that this weekend..i promise it works! He goes on to say, you may indeed be a busy person, but remember that filling your head with thoughts of how overwhelmed you are only exacerbates the problem by making you feel even more overwhelmed.
5. Develop your compassion: willingness to put yourself in someone else's shoes. will try to work on that for real
6. Remind yourself that when you die, your "in basket"wont be empty: i guess basically, dont kill yourself trying to accomplish all your tasks..cuz new tasks will always replace them. will work on that too!
7. Dont interrupt others or finish their sentences: dont think i do that.
8. Do something nice for someone else--and dont tell anyone about it: i used to do this a lot..like that one time i...(ha! thought i was gonna tell didn't ya?)
9. Let others have the glory: i think i do that
10. Learn to live in the present moment: this one got me..i dont often do that...i worry about things that might happen and i let that affect how i react in the present. He went on to quote the serenity prayer..which i admit i used to think was lame..but in this context...i say it often during the day.. mainly just the "Dear God...Change things i can..Accept the things I cannot change...wisdom to know the difference" and also Mark Twain " I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened"..lol..

So i've decided to live in the present, and not let past problems or future concerns to dominate my present moment. Good things will happen..i'll accept them. Bad things will happen..i'll deal with them as best as I can. Worrying about them is not going to change that. But as i remember not to sweat the small stuff...I hope that I'll be able to deal with the bad things much better. All things work for the good of them that love Him abi?

Hope everyone had a wonderful relaxing long weekend....and is not already worrying about the stress of tomorrow... tomorrow can bring it on...we'll take it..whatever it maybe.

Gnite folks!

Fuck Cosmo!

2009-05-21T20:07:00.004-05:00

..or something drastic like that.

Hi NiceAnon!! :)
So....i was gonna blog about Part Deux, but i got sidetracked by stuff in April 2009's cosmo. (not mine....~~i stopped subscribing after i realized that it wasn't helping me find a man~~).
I'm sorry, I'm a girl and I grew up with 3 sisters and no brothers. My interaction with the male species consisted of my father telling us.. (as we gazed at other kids playing outside from our bedroom window)...to stay away from those "hopeless boys" lol. My daddy!
Ok that doesn't count as interaction, I guess my real interaction was in 2008. Lol, i'm kidding gosh! i'm not some hermit weirdo..(well...not anymore :D)My interaction with this strange male species has been more than some but less than most and mostly good. I know i've talked about BOYS before, that's not the purpose of this here post. Can my fellow blogworlders help me better understand some of these statements from men..about men.
Are any of these "reasons" valid?
CASE 1: 8 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Reason #1: For payback..girl was texting her ex (harmless he claims), dude got pissed and cheated. No comment but is this really a valid reason?
Reason #2: The physical attraction just isn't there: So WHY ARE YOU STILL DATING HER? Reason #3: She just isn't there: See scream @ #2
Reason #4: He thinks he's missing out: um...this is actually a scary one...anyone?
Reason #5: He's moved on emotionally
Reason #6: There's too much fighting
Reason #7: He needs a shot of self-esteem
Reason #8: To fulfill a fantasy
I know life is not perfect and it's not ok to generalize because not everyone is like that..but these reasons were listed by guys..so that means that at least one other guy out there agrees/ thinks that one of these reasons is ok/justifiable...

If i could i would scream from all the mountain tops...Why can we not all just be upfront and honest with our feelings and what we want/don't want at all times?

*i confess...this is an old post that i just never got around to finishing".....Hi blogworld..shey everybody is doing ok?

"Games..Changes and Fears..(Part Un: Fears)

2009-04-30T12:33:00.001-05:00

I totally meant to post this yesterday....my bad...Mgbeks how you gon be smheee @ me? you suppose understand. Roc, NiceAnon and RepressedOne aka BlogdeserterforanewblogthatKatedoesnothaveaccessto (yes i called you out..what you gon do bout it? :)...here ya go
*********************************************************************
..when will they go from here? When will they stop?" - Macy Gray

I'm not even gonna try to approach this issue from a broad perspective. Sometimes, I find that some things you think are so personal and so unique to your situation turn out to be not so unique.....therefore......

I went through this phase where I never wanted to get married AKA the teenage years
- My parents I think, are typical naija parents...well for the most part I guess. None of that "honey" "baby" "sweetie" stuff. Don't think I've ever heard them say "I love you" even...well maybe my mom...my mom is the bubbly outgoing one and my dad is the shy,quiet introverted one. They'd argue in front of us, but I don't think I ever witnessed them resolving their arguments (i must not have been a very perceptive child and i had my own issues). We moved from naija right as I was getting cozy in teenagedom and it was a truly stressful time for all of us (READ: it was HELL!). I know I definitely snapped, argued with my parents a lot.stayed in my room all day and listened to ROCK and HEAVY METAL (READ: Korn and Marilyn Manson)..i don't think i liked them very much (my parents that is)..
So I decided then that I never wanted to get married..or have kids because I didn't ever want to have to depend on someone else for my happiness or make any one else unhappy.
And then one day..like someone turned on the lights in my head I came to a very obvious realization: "My parents..like everyone else are human and predisposed to err"! Whodathunk huh? Accepting this made it easier for me to see past them being my parents to them being human, take all the good parts of their relationship and learn from the bad.
From my parents, I decided that

I want a partner who loves his family
I want a partner who puts his family first
I want a partner who is trusting and trustworthy
I want a partner who is dependable
I want a partner who is open to communication and conflict resolution
I want a partner who is willing to do all in his power to ensure that they/we are healthy and happy and comfortable kinda like my Daddy :)

And in return

I want to be a partner who is supportive
I want to be a partner who is patient and willing to work through problems
I want to be a partner who is trusting and trustworthy
I want to be a partner who listens
I pretty much just want to be a strong, God-fearing, loving kind woman just like my momma :) who has the biggest..biggest heart I've ever..ever seen!

Stalker said what...?

2009-04-24T21:53:00.003-05:00

So i live in a dead little town and there's not much to do here

btw..*disclaimer..i'm not a stalker...i just needed a catchy title*
My only friend close enough to hangout at the drop of a hat and I often go for happy hour...I watch her drink...of course i dont drink...naturally :D *quiet you*!
But so..when i do drink..one drink gets me tipsy..like today. We went to Outback Steakhouse and they have this Strawberry Passion-tini? I think that's what it's called...it has:

Fresh Strawberries(pureed)
Disarono Amaretto
Skyy Citrus Vodka
and X-rated fusion liquer...

sooooo good and soooo potent.

Anyhoo..at this Outback works a very,very..extremely sexy waiter..I mean..he looks like Scott Speedman's twin...for real..i'm not joking.

..sighs..takes a moment..
Ok, sha sha..we go there maybe once every couple of months but we've only seen him three times..this time being #3. The first time...we went pretty late and we sat in his section so it was pretty much empty when we got there..so he had time to sit and chat with us..he made me a special dessert...I was freaking enamoured...entranced..sp? And I also found out his life story...moved here from Cali to go to high school..cuz his fam moved (who does that?)and then they moved back but he stayed cuz of his girlfriend/fiancee(whatever!) and is going to police academy whilst waitering on the side...gosh...he's so hot!
Anyway...i think my meal was about $25 and i left a $23 tip! lol..(this was waaay before the recession sha...now man pikin no fit abeg...i got bills!...plus he wasn't our waiter tonight).
But he did stop by and say hi and we chatted...he just passed his exam so now he can actually go on police car ride thingies..whatever they are called..PATROL! yeah patrol..really close by. He promised to let me know when he'll start working so i can accidentally on purpose like get a ticket or something...:)
Anyway...i think that night..in my tipsy state..i said the corniest thing ever..something like "I just want you to know that I'm glad you exist" or something stupid...smh..i'm a mess.

...I'm it!

2009-04-22T20:34:00.003-05:00

1. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
2. They have to be real….nothing made up! if the person before you had the same first initial,you must use different answers.
3. You cannot use any word twice and you cant use your name for the boy/girl question.
4. Don’t google your answers.
5. Make it as interesting and fun as you can.

1.What is your name: Kate

2. A four Letter Word: King...(K is hard you know!!)

3. A boy's Name: Kola

4. A girl's Name: Kemi

5. An occupation: Koala Keeper (do i get two points for doubling up?:)

6. A color: Kumquat (*shakes fist and dares ppl to challenge*)

7. Something you'll wear: Knit top
8. Kumbaya

9. A food: Kuli Kuli

10. Something found in the bathroom: Knife (yes..there's a knife in my bathroom)

11. A place: Kigali

12. A reason for being late: Killed a deer with my car

13. Something you'd shout: Ki lon sele!!!

14. A movie title: Kiss the Girls (HA!!! yes!!! i found one)

15. Something you drink: Koconut milk :D

16. A musical group: KC and Jojo and the sunshine band
17. An animal: Koala..duh!

18. A street name: Kings way

19. A type of car: Krap...there are no K cars...:(

20. The title of a song: Knocking on heaven's door

I dont tag ppl..but feel free to do it as the spirit moves ya!

Back to Life..back to reality

2009-04-21T19:36:00.002-05:00

LOL @ Nice Anon the private blog haver talking 'bout update!!

I just spent..a glorious 48+ hours off/on with my beautiful baby nephew and I did not want to come back to the real world AT ALL.
You dont understand...I love this lil guy!! His smile lights up my life. He has three dimples just like his Aunty..and he is sooo brilliant! I make him laugh! HA! take that other aunties! Then again..he might be laughing at me not with me...hmmm.
I miss him!!
*****REALITY*****
I have a real big problem with managment. Now...i'm not a rabble rouser or nothing. But if you get me going...I might just go off the deep end and let them really know what's on my mind. If they fire me, I can collect unemployment for a whole year :D

In the last two weeks, I haven't felt the urge to work out. Not good. My june goal is in jeopardy...

I think all the delays...at the airport, on the plane and in the air that happens whenever I fly, is God's way of teaching me patience.

I go through these phases where the things that used to jazz me just ain't doing the job no' more.

I'm really feeling like it's time for me to move and find new cheese...and I cant wait.

The more i think about it, the more it becomes possible..it is possible..all things are possible with God.

On Going Private

2009-04-13T22:39:00.007-05:00

No..not me!
Aight...so I am guilty of reading peoples blogs and not commenting. Sue me..shoot me..whatever...but I have my reasons.
1. I'm lazy and I have bad memory: honestly..half the blogs i visit, I find through blogs that have them listed as blogs they follow..and when I'm bored i have a habit of just scrolling down to see who else out there is blogging about anything that might tickle my fancy. Even if I find the blog interesting..which 93% of the time I do, I never blogroll it because I'm lazy..i always pray that the next time i crave reading that blog, i remember all the blogs i went through to get there.
...guess that's really not a good excuse
2. I really only comment when I feel that i have something of substance to contribute..most of the time: not to say that ppl that comment don't, I just usually can't bring myself to type something random and meaningless just to "mark attendance" that plus i don't think I'm witty enough on the spot..gotta let stuff marinate...maybe that is a part of blog etiquette that I haven't learned
3. I dont like to "feel familiar"...yes i am encroaching on your public private personal space..but in all honesty/fairness, i dont know you and you dont know me...so "why should I try to "feel familiar" when i'd probably pass you on the street and not know who you are?" is the logic in my head...plus I fear that getting to know the person will take away my perception of them in my head and I'm not comfortable with that...maybe i dont live in the realworld but that's why i'm in blogville duh!
4. I am shy...sometimes, I really just have to work my way up to being confident enough to comment... my blog personality is my real personality is my everyday personality...

5. Yes I do have some blogs on my blogroll..but I dont feel like explaining why that doesn't negate some of my other reasons.

I'm always a little hurt when a blog that i read goes private..I mostly get over it and find another blog to read..the cycle continues. Of course ppls reasons for going private may have absolutely nothing to do with me or the likes of me but I just had to get that off my chest. For all the blogs I've wormed my way into and left after i have read to satisfaction without commenting, ...I apologize. I guess the solution would be to go private

Gotta do a birthday blog!!

2009-04-08T22:31:00.004-05:00

I'm a big fan of birthdays...mine especially..always have been
But today went by too fast.
my parents sent me the cutest card..too sweet...i cried
And my coworkers surprised me with cake and flowers..i cried
I aint no punk tho! *flexes mozzu*

My thing about my birthday is...i'm not a gift person per se..i dont usually know/get what i want but i appreciate gifts... I like calls...and messages.

On this birthday..i'm thankful
I know ppl die everyday..I'm thankful for my life. I almost didn't make it to 26 and that fact just hit me...so Thank you God for my life.
I'm thankful for my family...and my awesome nephew...love him!!!
I'm thankful for my friends...all of em...everyone of em.
I'm thankful for my coworkers...dunno what i did to deserve such an awesome first job.
I'm thankful for my luckybugga
I'm thankful for my birthday mates
I'm thankful for chocolate
I'm thankful for internet..and music...and tv
I'm thankful for Keanu Reeves
I'm thankful for Obama
I'm thankful for ME :)

13 of my favorite bars....kinda

2009-04-07T09:02:00.004-05:00

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?
-Hands Clean

If you could read my mind love,
what a tale my thoughts would tell.
Just like a paperback novel,
the kind the drugstore sells.
and when you reach the part where the heartache
comes the hero would be you.
Heroes often fail.
Stars on 54

Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
Sunday Morning

So what, so I've got a smile on me
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down
John Mayer

Got everybody watchin what I do
Come walk in my shoes
And see the way I'm livin if you really want to
Got my mind on my money
And I'm not goin nowhere
Live your life

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
The Remedy

I have lost the dignity i had before
Trying to please everybody
Lucky Dube

I'ma do some'ing bad to ya, disrespect your set talk trash to ya
And if you get out of line, I'ma bring it quick fast to ya
Smash your head, in the concrete
And H-Town Stomp, your bitch ass to the beat
Till they see the white meat, for playing games with my gang
Slim Thug

Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running through my mind all day
Can you feel me?
I been tryna get you off my mind, but I cant after all this time
When iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
T-pain

If your love could be caged, honey, I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt and those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine
Cry

Does anyone know...What love can cost
To take you so high..Then leave you lost
Is it a mystery..That runs too deep
For such a simple heart
Hall and Oates

Finally the tables are starting to turn
Talking 'bout a revolution..
Tracy Chapman

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end
I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break
Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes
I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed
I will lay down my life, if that's what you need
Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire
When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher
I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul
I will hold on all night and never let go
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
Celine

Honest Crap

2009-04-06T22:39:00.006-05:00

1. I hate taking showers after people...when I was younger I would cry if anyone got in the shower before me.
2. I memorize numbers easily.. internet access codes for hotels..numerical passwords..account numbers...license plate numbers..
3. I can be a loner one minute and a social butterfly the next.
4. I dont buy into that whole..I can't stand girls..guys are better friends deal, but I don't have that many girlfriends
5. I have managed to remain good friends with my exes' best friends but can/have gone years without talking to or inquiring about the exes.
6. I cant swim...been meaning to learn for the longest time
7. I've never watched from beginning to end: Titanic, Forest Gump or any of the Godfathers but I've watched Jurassic Park III uncountable times and Zathura is one of my favorite movies :D
8. I sing/reenact commercials in my head when i'm walking..like the ziploc one: Erica!! Handy!! Chilly!! Economical!
9. I don't like cooking for myself or consider myself to be a great cook but when i'm not trying..my stuvvs comes out pretty good.
10. When i'm working on something that doesnt require much concentration..i quote simpsons episodes in my head....
Homer: No beer and no tv make homer go something something
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if i do!! Oooohhhh Ahhhhh Eeeeee Ooooo Walla Walla... :D
crap!!

Change

2009-04-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness and wisdom" -- Confucius
**Dedicated to you**
One of my favorite quotes.

I consider myself to be very accommodating of change, and I think that I've changed some in the past three years.
Change was moving from Plateau state to Lagos state at 8: I think I was way too young to take stock of how that affected me as a person.
Change was moving from Lagos to Texas at 13: That was hard...fitting in to high school, well trying to at the age when kids/teenagers are so cruel and unwelcoming. High school had to be some of the worst years of my life. Coupled with becoming a teenager and all those hormones...I remember locking myself in my room a lot and getting into hard rock..lol. I'm glad my parents allowed me to have my own room where i could just brood and be dark. TV was my best friend..i would lose myself in Dawson's Creek and Felicity and Buffy and Angel...i learned to enjoy/crave my alone time.
Change was going off to college: some of the best years of my life. Meeting the most awesomely amazing people. Warm, open, friends for life type opening people. "Dating"...lol if you could call it that. Trying to grasp the fact that people want to be friends with me..people actually care about me. Real friends...real boyfriends. I think most of my lifelong friends are friends I made in college. Loves them!!
Change was moving thousands of miles away from all that after college: So far, the most exciting and revealing change i think I've experienced so far. Being completely removed from my comfort zone..by choice i think has enabled me to see myself in a different light sometimes. Not always good, not always easy but I think I've been through some things that make me feel like I can make it through almost anything.

So...change is coming again..soon. My initial reaction is excitement...I can't wait to see what the future holds, but that of course is closely followed by fear of the unknown...what if I'm making a mistake? what if it doesn't work out? I think what fuels me further is that staying also elicits the same what if questions. what if i stay? What will happen to me three years from now?
Still I want to be constant in wisdom and happiness so change i must..change I will embrace.

Closing Time...

2009-04-02T21:15:00.008-05:00

...Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end..."- Semisonic

W-I-P

2009-04-01T22:20:00.002-05:00

Sometimes all I have to go on
Is the way I feel when I'm with you
Cuz when i'm not with you
I feel like we're worlds apart

Don't call it a comeback..

2009-03-31T18:58:00.002-05:00

..I've been here before *dances and shimmies*

Hello Blogworld!!
So i've been out of commission for a minute...mainly because I've been a lazy bum, then my laptop just up and quit me. Can you imagine? I was cut off from the world essentially for almost two weeks. Not just that but all my music/videos/pictures/ahem...borrowed software is locked away in my old lappie taunting me!!
Can i just say that i was totally naive about this itunes stuff...smh. Aight Apple..this is how you want to play me?...this is why I'M A PC and I'm pissed at apple! I hate you! :(
Have I missed a lot?
What did i to with my time off you ask? Good stuff
I started working out again/back on that sensible eating grind and um... the jury is out till June!!
I think I spent more time at work...barf!!
I read more/studied more
I discovered that I'm actually patient enough to surf the web when necessary on my phone. That's how desperate I was.
Oooh oohh...I watched a lot more tv than usual... I actually watched RuPaul's Drag Race...from begining to end!! It was amazing to say the least. I mean seriously!! Drag Queens competing to be the Next RuPaul. I was transfixed...couldn't stop watching.
I was also apparently on some bs/acting out/throwing a tantrum but as God would have it, my boobookins is/was very accomodating sometimes. :D
But I'm back i think, and having turned on the voices in my head; I'll hopefully be blogging more frequently.
So Blogworld...what's new? What'd i miss?

My Birthday Wishlist

2009-03-23T16:32:00.005-05:00

I have a couple of minutes before my western is ready to develop....and i am computerless at home. BOO HOO... :(.
Anyhoo..it hit me today that i'm about to turn the big 2-oh no-6 but this time, i actually have stuff i want/ need for my birthday!! yay!! so...here they go
1.
by James Watson...who is a surprisingly good author...dunno why i was surprised..the man is a genius!! did you know that Orson Wells..Welles? is his uncle?..yeah me either..hmm..
2. The Double Helix..also by James Watson
3.
The Actual book AND the problems book.. :D thank um
4. Cuz my computer died...the lil biyatch..all my stuff is trapped all inside especially my music and my fabulous microsoft office...which i think i can get back..but not my music!! and my pictures!! i have tons of pictures!! :(...the geeksquat--no typo wants to charge me like 200 bucks to get my info out...maybe i should ask IT... sha..dell has this thingie...it's sha $90. I tried to find a picture i can't...trust me!
i'll be back with more!

We're rocking the suburbs!!

2009-01-31T23:25:00.003-05:00

Just saw Revolutionary Road

*SPOILER ALERT*--if you haven't watched..um..avert your eyes.--
Don't know whether to shoot myself or make a pact never to move to the suburbs
On the one hand, I think April was definitely not chemically balanced
But on the other hand, I could see where she was coming from..kinda

Back then,the man was the sole breadwinner and the woman was supposed to pop them kids out and keep the house.
But the thing about it is... I'm sure even today when both man and woman can work and still have their house in the 'burbs and their 2.5kids and a dog, I'm sure there are millions of families out there that feel trapped, unfulfilled...hopelessly empty?

I can't get over how he told her he'd cheated..like.."OK i cheated but I'm done now..what's for dinner?"
And when he was leaving...he knew..knew there was something wrong but he pretended that everything was fine.

I don't think Paris would have solved anything anyway..just maybe delayed the inevitable...

Me personally...i would love to live my life without regrets..knowing that at any point in my life..i was fulfilled at doing what I'm meant to be doing. Completely in that moment..be it pursuing (purshooing :D) my career or going to school...or being a wife, being a mother..being an aunt, being a friend, being a sister, being a daughter by God's grace.
Life, Love and the pursuit of happiness ko easy o!

aside..does anyone else notice how i use "..." too much or is it just me?...guess it's just me :D.. paix!

Here's my all time favorite songs

2009-01-28T12:01:00.001-05:00

Damn IE i lost like 29 songs...but d'ah well

All time faves..version 1.0

Uninspired Posting

2009-01-28T09:20:00.003-05:00

Thou shalt not post when thou hast nothing to post about.
Damn you bloggie.
I am in a music-y mood tho.
I think what i love about music the most is the fact that someone - the songwriter- is able to put so many feelings..so many shared feelings into words.
If i like a song, sometimes even if i dont...i try to learn the lyrics so that at least if my voice can't do it justice maybe my remembering all the words will :)
And it makes for some pretty nice karaoke performances
Anyway...here is a list of my ten--ahem..i mean 100 all time favorites...as in stuff i hear and i can't help but dance, or sing along, or bang my head..etc
...it's uploading
While we wait

This whole blogtagging thang aint my thang

2009-01-26T07:04:00.006-05:00

1. You have to tell us 3 things about you, 2 truths and 1 lie

2. Link the person who tagged you.

I am the epitome of calmness and nothing phases me.
I love my job
I am completely gaga over my nephew

I honestly dont read that many blogs to tag and this ole already stole all my blog ppls!

Yeah...about that marriage post

2009-01-15T22:00:00.002-05:00

Didnt start..cain't do it
So... i'll try again tomorrow, maybe saturday

Thank God for the passengers from that plane...

The Dynamic

2009-01-14T09:04:00.003-05:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you were young
And your heart was an open book
You used to say "live and let live"
But if this ever changing world
In which we live in
Makes you give it a try....
Say live and let die!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, i was having three whole conversations on MSN yesterday..yes this is my life what do you have to say about it..it was 16oF(maybe oC...) outside what do you want me to do go out? So what if i was supposed to be working...do they pay me overtime? :D OK..i digress

I had a really nice MSN convo with a friend who dropped some interesting knowledge on the whole friendship-relationship thing between guys and girls. And wouldn't you know it..i totally forgot what he said. He said something and i forgot it! I was really relying heavily on me remembering it because i thought it was really perceptive and it put a lot of things in perspective. I'mo ask again..see if he remembers..or maybe it will come to me in the middle of the night...daggone old age and ish! Shout outs to dude for putting me onto Dat Nigga Raw! Lol...

I was also having a convo with my sporadic acquaintance...i think she's cute as buttons! She was talking about expectations and how she didn't see herself getting married or something like that. We talked about long distance relationships..and she wasn't feeling that either. Ok..so in my mind i had chucked it up to her being young..but when you're young, doesn't the world just seem open and filled with possibilities? When did we...ahem..these young kids get all jaded by life and love? Na wa oh.

Ok...i admit, everybody's journey is different, i guess I've been lucky not to have come across too many unserious ppl at a young age who just want to mess around and break hearts and leave me jaded. I think life has left me more jaded than love thus far..which is just scary because that either means I'm blessed/lucky to not have had that experience and i never will...or that experience is coming. D'ah well...bring it on I say.

The third convo was with my gal paul as my dad says...LOL. We talked about marriage and rings and stuff but not really...and she claims I'm a different person.."what have you done with my friend?" I guess i can see where she's coming from and i think age definitely has a lot to do with it...but in addition to age..being removed from the whole school scene and being immersed in this 2.5 family having town...there's definitely a mind-shift thingie that has happened to me. If i was out partying every night bar/club hopping...i probably wouldn't be in the I'm ready to settle down in the next couple of years frame of mind. Add that to age and having a firmer grip on what you want out of life and feeling like you're on that path kinda...God willing, then there's that innate urge to want to move on to the next level.

***next post** maybe tomorrow? on marriage as the next level..but i need a sexier title than that!

Shout out to my two readers!

Insert title here...ok Random

2009-01-10T21:29:00.002-05:00

Ooooh...i really had something bloggable yesterday, when i was at work and not working, but i um...like you know forgot.
Uncharacteristic of 2008, i decided to write down my goals for 2009.
No..not resolutions just things that i would like to accomplish this year professionally, financially, educationally, personally, emotionally etc.

Oooooh...you know what else. JACK's back!! wooo woo! We love it...we love it. I hope we still love it....mmmmmm, i think we will still love it.

Really i honestly wish i had things to talk to you about. I'm upset that this doug williams dude cannot speak proper english.

have i blogged about the fact that my president is black and my lambo's nonexistent but if it wasn't, it'd be blue?
Man...i really miss reading interesting blogs..everybody is privatizing or not writing in their blogs anymore..what is really going on?

I miss... Femi's Diary, i thought about it today...very talented writer...nice chick too.
I dont like unkempt beards...like overly long taliban type beards..uggh.

Havent read any good books lately...like soooo goooooddd make me wanna cry books.
sighs...

My new infatuation is my oregoogoo...my lil neph..the cutest thing since the beginning of time. Loves him...loves him to pieces..

And i'm out

And the beat goes on da da dum da dum da da.....

2008-12-27T03:32:00.003-05:00

Most people enjoy spending time with their family and friends..and I do too for the most part. However, I was kinda dreading coming home cuz normally, a fight usually occurs at some point and I can't wait to go back to my own little world where i can shut out all the drama and just focus on things that make sense.
It's Day 2 and I'm happy to report that no fights/arguments/misunderstandings occured, which is great. I hope it stays that way.
Outside of the fam, i had a very illuminating day...
I realized that there is entirely too much going on here and not in a good way and I don't think I'm ready to come back here to live, not this year, not next year not in this capacity.
Everything just struck me as "affected" or "trying too hard".
Driving through my breeding ground, i had a lot of nostalgic moments of this is where i worked for 5 years and this is where we stayed...etc

Part 2:
I guess I must have been a terror in college because in the last 24 hours, i have been regaled with tales of my tyranny and physical and emotional acts of aggression towards ppl who years later are still my friends... Let me start by putting all my apologies for whoever i wronged out there in the universe...
At first I was slightly amused maybe..because the way things play out in my head is obviously not the way other ppl see it.
But at some point, I started thinking and two questions...maybe rhetorical, maybe not came to mind.
1. If I did/do all these mean, horrible things to ppl..why have i not lost any of these ppl as friends? (maybe i lost one, but in that case i would argue that we probably weren't friends to begin with...hmmm)
2. When all these my actions occur, do ppl even try to understand where i'm coming from?

And God forbid you actually change or mature because that person you were in college is the same person you'll always be.

I guess my bottom line is like staind says "I only know that I can change, everything else just stays the same"....so the only way to fix that, is to keep moving forward.
And we haven't even gotten to the party yet.
So much for Happy Holidays...is it 2009 yet?

Patience is a virtue...etc

2008-12-01T13:53:00.003-05:00

One of my vices..one of my many vices, but the one that gets me in trouble a lot is impatience.
I want answers right now..solutions yesterday and results today.
So when i pray, one of the main things i ask God for is patience.
The ability to wait patiently for things to work out the way they are meant to.
Of course as a thinking, feeling being, it's not always easy because I feel it then i think about how to solve it and then i do..or try to.
However, I'm learning that, some situations would never occur if i had been patient enough in the beginning and let things naturally unfold as they are supposed to.

My prayer for myself this new year, is to be more patient and to consciously recognize when I'm in situations that require me to be patient. Like today.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.—Romans 5:3-5

But at the same time, i feel like a failure. Like i told myself that i would try...and try..and try until i either succeeded or couldn't try anymore. So i'm at a point where i'm questioning whether i tried hard enough. But like with all things..a go/no-go decision has to be made..when enough is enough and i'd rather be unsuccessful now than in the future...i guess.

Facebook Chat #2008-002 : The "You Just Know Line"

2008-11-29T14:38:00.002-05:00

Talking to my sis bout the marriage decision. not as funny as the NA one..but hey..a blogs gotta blog...

Kate:: wat life decision are you making
Dr.K:: marriage
Kate: marriage to who?
Dr.K: anyone
Kate: lol..yup
Dr.K:scary thought
Kate: yup
Dr.K:same house, see them everyday…in your space
Kate: lol
Dr.K:AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHhhhh
Kate:i guess that's part of the difficulty
Dr.K:what else?
Kate: my own is how do u know that it is the right person?
Dr.K:i dont know…i dont think you ever know
Kate:thank you jare
Dr.K:lol
Kate:unlike those useless you just know ppl
Dr.K:i know right
Kate:lol
Dr.K:its a friggin risk!!
Kate:well i dunno …u have more married friends than me
Dr.K:i guess you both have to decide if its worth taking with each other…they seem happy
Kate: wat do they say when u ask them?
Dr.K: and they are of the "you just know" school
Kate: lol…all of them?
Dr.K:not sure if I’ve asked Mrs. A or Mrs. O…i should
Kate: you should..yep
Dr.K:but how will their answers matter
Kate: it wont..but everyone i meet to says the whole "you just know" thing too. i wonder if anyone would ever say "you dont know...you just have to trust in God and the person you are making a commitment to"…brainwashed liars!!!
Dr.K:lmao…i think that's the correct answer
Kate: see..and i'm nowhere near marriage
Dr.K:there should be like a scorecard
Kate: huh
Dr.K: with answers rated 1-5 5 being all the time
Kate: oooh
Dr.K: and there should be a cut-off number. ..Like, you like talking to the person all the time, most of the time, sometimes or never
Kate: wait i thot u meant scorecard for ppl and how they answer the how do u know question
Dr.K: yeah..oh,no, i'm trying to solve the how do you know problem
Kate: hmmm..i'm still lost
Dr.K: you have a list of questions which you answer while thinking of one person that you've been dating, you answer questions on a 1 to 5 scale..add up all the numbers
Kate: ooooo i get it
Dr.K: and if its say above 70, then you have a 70% chance of being successfully married to that person
Kate: how many questions?
Dr.K: i don't know..maybe we should come up with some
Kate: u have to have really good ones
Dr.K: yep..we can sell it and be rich
Kate: and a varied sample size..yup,ok…questions
Dr.K:r u typing them up?..do you have google email?
Dr.K: ok…what should we call it?
Kate: brainwashed liars?
Dr.K: lmao
Kate: i cant think of a better title

Happy belated thanksgiving...hope you had things to be thankful for.

Facebook Chat #2008-001: Ignorance is bliss

2008-11-23T13:06:00.008-05:00

I had a conversation with an officer in the Nigerian Army about the current witchhunt going on in Akwa Ibom, NIGERIA and what was being done about it..needless to say i was so freaking apalled by the fact that this monkey did not think it even existed...convo below.. it was unbelievable..i had to control myself so that i wouldnt curse him out!..it's long and stuff..but bare with me.

http://crarn.tripod.com Please VISIT the website!!

Chidi: ka, Imelaagi and happy sunday
Kate: : i'm good, happy sunday to u too
Chidi: ok we're over here in NA making sure your folks back home sleep with both eyes TIGHLY shot.
Kate: : huh?
Chidi: Nigerian Army (NA)
Kate: : oh, cool….i didnt know we had one, or had never thought about it i guess
Chidi: Now you're talking….U mean a hegemon like Nija will b armyless?
Kate: : are you guys doing anything to bring the ppl in akwa ibom who kill children that they believe to be witches to justice?
Chidi: If that happens at all (which I doubt) it should be the work of the police and civil societies
Kate: : what do you mean which you doubt? ..it happens, why would u think doesnt happen?Chidi: : Never heard of it..and I'm here
Kate: : so because you've never heard of it then it doesnt happen?
Chidi: : so could just be negative western press propaganda..Could you cite any recent case, if I may ask?
Kate: : have you heard of C.R.A.R.N..there was a whole documentary of it on tv, it's on youtubethere's an organization that takes in these kids after their parent's have tried to kill them by pounding nails into their skulls
Chidi: : It could just be an isolated case blown out of proportion
Kate: : or making them drink caustic soda..so one case is not enough?
Chidi: : As I said, Isolated case
Kate: : definitely not one case though…i gave you two examples
Chidi: : Any way I'll try and find out
Kate: : i'm sure you will
Chidi: : Didn't say you were wrong oh!
Kate: : i think you have deluded yourself into thinking that you ppl actually have an impact..hegemon indeed..these things are happening in your own country and you are saying isolated case western propaganda
Chidi: Just wondering why our people out there have a misconception that nothing good can emanate from here
Kate:i believe a lot of good things emanate..but bad things should be addressed too
Chidi:It's our time to make things right …The press is blowing things out of proportion
Kate: but if you have the mindset that "isolated incidences" are ok
Chidi: : The US has its own flaws
Kate: : then y'all aint making nothing rightChidi: : but I don't think you're inclined to magnify it the way you do ur own
Kate: : and they investigate "allegations"
Chidi: : Don't allow the western media dictate how you think
Kate: : best believe that every act of injustice especially towards innocent children is always magnified
Chidi: : Of course
Kate: : absolutely not..i make my own decisions
Chidi:allegations have to be thoroughly investigated for posterity sake..Everybody does
Kate: : do u think you have been brainwashed to think that all bad news about nigeria is western propaganda?
Chidi: : but its better to make INFORMED and UNBIASED decisions
Kate: : so you who had NO idea that stuff like this was going on BUT went on to claim that you DOUBT it is happening is informed and unbiased?..so what exactly do you guys do?
Chidi: : THE MILITARY IS TASKED WITH WARDING OFF EXTERNAL AGGRESSION
Kate: : but you are part of the ppl who are supposed to protect and serve abi?
Chidi: or low intensity conflict like the niger delta, not domestic crimes against the state
Kate: : you pick and choose what crime is worth preventing and is punishable?
Chidi: : That is POLICE business
Kate: : ok o…that's good to know
Chidi: : we only come in to aid when they're over whelmed. Point I'm making is...don't lose hope in Nigeria
Kate: : absolutely not..i haven't
Chidi: : Whatever the case may be …its not irrepairable
Kate: : i just think that we have long way to go
Chidi: : Now you're talking
Kate: : and you can't walk around blindly smelling roses and claim not to know what is going on..if there are ppl killing children..the future..and nothing is being done about it..then there is no hope
Chidi: : I'm sure the police is doing something bout it
Kate: : what can you do about it?
Chidi: :Its off our jurisdiction..so I can only join other citizens to condemn it
Kate: : do other citizens know about it..because you didnt?
Chidi: : I mean paradventure I knew
Kate: : what? sorry i dont understand what that means
Chidi: : All I'm saying is that ..I've discovered that most Nigerians outside the shores of this country are EXPERTS at complaining about the state of the nation
Chidi: : we need solutions
Kate: : my solution is to investigate and prosecute these backward minded ppl
Chidi: : I assume the question was based on a belief that u were asking on the basis of 'assuming I had known
Kate: :yes
Chidi: : The guantanamo bay detainee assault saga is also as serious
Kate: : it definitely is
Chidi: :if not more serious than what is currently sickening you about the ALLEGED Akwa Ibom Incidence
Kate: and the vp and former attorney general are currently facing legal actions regarding that
Chidi: So lets not make a mountain out of a mole hill regarding the nija probsKate: why do u keep comparing nigeria to america
Kate: these two countries have nothing in common
Chidi:They have a lot in common
Kate: NIGERIA is not and will NEVER be America
Chidi:diverse peoples
Kate: i disagree…Nigeria is centuries away from where america is..as far as infrastructure and otherwise
Chidi:Not in the sense of technological advancement..we have our peculiarities
Kate: not the same in the sense of democratic, educational or economic advancement
Chidi:In terms of cars and houses
Kate: and the thing that is killing us apart from greed and corruption is the inherent backward minded mentality that causes these parents to think it is acceptable for them to kill their children in the name of witchcraft
Chidi:or in terms of morals and the role of homes in the lives of individuals? The average life span of a marriage there is less than 3yrs
Kate: what does that have to do with the issue i'm talking about?Chidi:There are definitely area we're not doing badly in
Kate: oh definitely
Chidi:First off..Witchcraft existsSecondly, as I said the case you're talking about is an isolated incidence which I'm very sure must have been sorted out by now
Kate: i dont doubt that it does..but does that give someone the right to kill someone else? so called morals
Chidi:The case you're talking about is an isolated incidence which I'm very sure must have been sorted out by now
Kate: NO..NO IT HAS NOT..see this is your problem, you don't know but u keep assuming
Chidi:I believe the church of satan has branches in the US
Kate: ok the fact that you use church and satan in the same sentence is also very disturbingthe church is the body of christ
Chidi:I don't know what??
Kate: u dont know that the issue has been sorted out..let us focus on one issue for a second ok.The case you're talking about is an isolated incidence which I'm very sure must have been sorted out by now
Chidi:I'm trying to make a point with it
Kate: you seem to know much about america but not much about what is going on on you won backyardpls make your point
Chidi:so please hear me out..I'm comparing Nigeria with the US because you stay there if you were in the honduras
Kate: ok
Chidi:The point is that so called church engages in ritual activities involving human sacrificesa lot of would-have-beenvictims have testified about that so if you have warped thinking people in what you believe to be a country eons away from Nigeria then you shouldn't be so judgemental about the Akwa Ibom issue
Kate: r u done?
Chidi:yep
Kate: ok let me make my point
Chidi: roll on
Kate: i do not doubt that there are questionable activities going on in any part of the world and especially here in America the only difference is when things like that are brought to light here, it is addressed and properly dealt with the fact that you did not know about the issue going on in akwa ibom but were so quick to say first that it was an isolated incident and then that you were sure it was being handled
Chidi:as they have don the KKK and gays in the military and abortion???
Kate: then you go on to try to justify it by saying that witchcraft exists as if that makes is ok for ppl to kill their children..all i am saying is this
Chidi: all I want is for my sister in whom i am well pleased
Kate: can i finish?
Chidi:sorry, go on
Kate: If your mentality is shared with your friends and ppl you surround yourself with and is one of comparing naija to America and saying we're ok because even though we are killing our children, the Americans have kkk and gays in the military that is the wrong mindset to have and that will not do anything to help move the country forward….so you are part of the problem..NOT the solutioni'm done
Chidi:ok..you're probably right..I may have gone way over my head to make my point. What i was trying to say in ABC terms was, Love Nigeria and wish us the best always as we do you guys out there all the time
Kate: and be willing to recognize issues and deal with them not call them isolated incidents. how many children have to be killed for it to not be an isolated issue?
Chidi: Yes thanks..we'll work on that
Kate: questioning what you think is wrong and can be fixed is love
Chidi: While keeping the big pic in focus
Kate: i just figured that since i was talking to someone in the NA
Chidi: You're making sense
Kate: you are in a better position than most do something about it
Chidi: But it wont happen in a day…Starts with the inside
Kate: i'm not saying that it should..or expecting it to
Chidi: We need to have the right paradigm of what our value system should be …Its currently very warped
Kate: it has to start somewhere
Chidi: NA prayer go solve our problem
Kate: prayer is key …but action is necessary too
Chidi: but I won't throw the baby away with the bath water..So at least once a week…please pray for Nigeria
Kate: and action can't start if everyone turns a blind eye to it..i pray everyday

The Wedding Epidemic

2008-11-11T00:20:00.003-05:00

Because we are at that age,

And because i obivously wish all the brave souls who have decided to make that leap..take that plunge nothing but the best.
I try to reassess my stance on marriage and since i'm not a mind reader, i can barely even begin to fathom when - if ever and to whom mine will be.

Going from not wanting to be married to wanting to be married took a while but i'm there.
I dunno what i'm trying to say... according to me...how will i know when i'm ready to get married? I think for me these are my tell tale signs

1. Is this who God has ordained for me to marry?

2.Do i respect him and does he respect me?

3. Do i see myself waking up to the same person for the rest of my life?

4. Are we emotionally and spiritually on the same page about our future together and relationship?

5.Do the family and friends like..or at least accept and approve?

Also i took the liberty of searching for 10 questions that engaged couples should ask according to www.about.com ..cuz while i'm not engaged or even close to being...doesn't hurt..plus it's my blog i can do what i want.

1.Why are we getting married?

2.What do we as a couple want out of life?

3.What do you think we'll be doing in thirty or forty years?

4.How often do you drink?

5.Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?

6.Have you ever hit someone?

7.Do you have a criminal record?

8.Are you willing to replace the toilet tissue roll?

9. errrr...is it just me or are these questions similar to what i would ask the person who bags my groceries?..what the hell!! no wonder there's a 50% divorce rate..nonsense

And that's the way the cookie crumbles

2008-11-11T00:10:00.002-05:00

So a lot has happened since i last blogged....
*I have a new president..Barack Obama..and he is wonderful!
*I passed my GRE prais God!!..oh yeah..i'm applying to go back to school..those personal statements are a killer.
*I have/had mice under my dishwasher...muthafreaking mutant mice ain't dying o..that poison is NOT working.
*I'm reflecting...should be sleeping.

My new favorite word is "ackright" eventhough i haven't gotten the opportunity to use it in a conversation.

I find that ppl are more ballsy via text message..talking about "we have unfinished business!" Boy if i backhand you back into 1948!

The year is almost over. Another whole year gone. hmmm
I really did intend to type some cohesive coherent stuff but i dunno.

So i just went through my other blog which served as therapy for me when i was going through some stuff and I marvel at how seemingly far i've come and we've come....ooooH! I just remembered something to blog about...toodles

Darn it!!

2008-09-02T20:34:00.003-05:00

I got comments...guess tht means i should blog again.
Hmmm...90210- 2008 started today. I can't believe i'm watching this. I should be studying!!
It's not horrible. I'm glad TV is back.
These skinny chics...do NOT look high school age! geez men! just geez!
and yet i dont want it to end!!

On how life is...
Today started off not so good...but it's better now.

See

2008-08-31T19:25:00.002-05:00

Blogging doesnt suck...i blogged :D Just for you.
What i meant by my answer to what do u do after blogging is that I'm at the point in my life where i really dont feel interesting enough stuff happens to me on a daily basis to warrant an entry.
But i know you'll keep blogging...and i want to keep reading!!!

Um...while i'm here
errr.... what have i been up to lately?
mostly trying to be a good grown up and a good christian. neither of them easy. especially the latter. Most days when i'm in my cube of isolation i'm good. But when i'm thrown into the test, i usually fail, or barely pass. Today, i'm barely passing. I'm somewhere between let go and let God and fearing that putting all my trust in God will give me tests that i havent studied for.

thassal folks

Just cuz

2008-05-19T18:58:00.002-05:00

Cuz i have to be the most recently updated blog on boory's thingie...

So bloggie,
I feel like maybe i'm taking my second chance at life for granted.. re: my recent serious car accident ( car flipped over, car is totalled..almost ran into oncoming traffic). But God is good so i'm fine other than the whiplash and the bruises. I'm grateful for my co-workers being angels and for my ability to be conscious enough to call on the blood of Jesus. And yea in my quiet moments i'm still freaked out by the posibility that my life could have been over before it even really begun. I'm trying to have a better outlook on life because life really is short but i'm hoping that it hits me soon and that i get myself together and my act in gear....

My wonderful friends and family for being with me through the whole ordeal.
The nice lady who stopped and called 911 who looked so freaked by what she saw...
My Gracie for saying "I love you" and for calling to check on me again...
My love... :D for being my comic relief/masseuse/shoulder/////

Thank God for life!!

Sticky Ends

2008-04-24T14:03:00.001-05:00

Hi Bloggie...
I would like to say that I miss you but I don't. Wish i did

Vaquero

2008-03-19T11:14:00.002-05:00

I know i've been stagnant for a couple of months...
I mean, i'm on vacay and all, but i've been seriously slacking...not working out, eating crap...I finished my book 4 of harry potter tho!! Still..not a good place to be.
Turning 25 in a couple of weeks... :) to be continued...

Oh..oooh...Keanu Reeves is shooting a movie in lil ol' danbury, where i live... also to be continued...i'll try not to stalk the man... but mehn... i need a keanu post with a disclaimer!!

All in all, i feel like my life this year is headed in the right direction... i just have to remember that i'm not there yet and there's still a lot of work to be done.. one of my goals this year is to borrow from the likes of PinkGloves...(i'm secretly stalking her blog..shhh!!) and make my money work better for my by investing..

I fear that i'm nearing the end of this blog....