Wants...and Indians.

"Mommy! I DONT WANT IT"....this is me screaming and crying even though i probably had a 104 fever and malaria whilst being held down by my mom and two nurses because they are about to inject me with nasty novalgene...
Then my mom says.."It's not what you want, it's what's good for you".
I can't count how many times my mom has said this to me/us. But as my youth draws to a close and my brain transitions from young adult to grown woman, I can like so totally understand what she means by that.
Just because you want something, doesnt necessarily mean that it's good for you. This goes for life, love and the pursuit of happiness....i think.

So anyways, i went to return some books to the library...super overdue of course and I was walking to my car and what did i see? Lo and behold...Indians...those engineering building indians..so i did something strange....I inhaled...yes, I inhaled an Indian because i wanted to see if they smell the same as those nedderman ones...and because I am homesick! Yes, they smell the same.

And then I went to c-town..which was just gross but they have the sweetest pineapples and bananas this side of 84, so i bought some....yummay!

Grown and Sexy..and Wentworth Miller

I thought I would be mega depressed this past weekend because I was missing my family and friends.After all my hooks and crooks, I still couldn't get a ticket. Well I could, it would just have been extra expensive. And all my sugar daddy runs didnt work out...DRATS!! Dah well, it's just as well.

So the Grown part: due to forced self analysis and a looking glass event of sorts, I was able to see myself in someone through my eyes...confusing I know. Anyways..I'm not saying the story but I owe a huge apology to my dear dear friend who claims that I'm psycho because sometimes, I get pissed at her for no apparent reason. So pele...I apologize and I will try to be less psycho. Once the psycho had been analyzed, I realized why I used to do what I used to do. This is where the grown part comes in...In relationships, I was privy to several bouts of psycho...but now I know that if and when I decide to get into another relationship...i will most likely not ever go psycho again or at least reduce the amount of psychos...or only have warranted psycho attacks...sigh, I feel grown just writing it.

Sexy: so after the incident that lead to the growth, i decided that I would take my self shopping...for a fraction of the cost for my trip to home. Retail therapy is sooo fracking good. I bought a couple of jackets, and a couple of jeans, and a shirt. And then today, I got some wool pants, they are scratchy but i love them. And a hobo bag...cuz every girl just gots to have them these days don't they? And a tank top. I'm done...then i got some ice cream and some malt. Mmm mmm good!

Ok first of all, I have all rights and claims to Wentworth Miller! I don't care what anyone says...I know i'm the only one that saw the Human Stain...so I discovered him. To this end, I feel that because we have a longer standing chemistry than Prison Break groupies, we are better suited to be together. I hope that I have been able to convince you, and not confuse you that doctors and better than lawyers...thank you! Debate flashbacks sorry... Wentworth Miller is MINE...he was hanging in the gap store and starring after me with those Mona Lisa eyes...you know the one that follows you everywhere you go. Sending shivers down my spine. Naturally I had to walk by the gap store several times. The last time, I went into the store and asked if i could have the poster after they were done with their "Sexy men who belong to me campaign"!! Yes I did it, and I do not shop at Gap so I don't care. Plus it's downstairs at the mall. I just can never pass there again. N E ways, me and wentworth flirting caused me to forget where I parked for like a good two minutes... *shivers*, the boy dikwa very delicious!!

Whoa

My Sis....is getting married. I think it's just now dawning on me. I can't believe it. The source of 99% of all my nicknames..Negligence,Ms. Piggy, Fatty, Fatso,Fatigue. :(
There was a point in my life where the only love I had for her was mainly because she was my sister. I still don't understand her...but I can stand her! LOL. I know we are all related and know each other well enough to know what to do or say to push each other's buttons. But at the end of the day, we definitely got each other's back no matter what! So this one goes out to my dear sister!!! Who I wish a long life of happiness and God's guidance and favor.

Blue

I think that's what I'm feeling
Just Blue
Everything and everyone gets to me
I break out the nickelback/staind/maroon5
I stare out the window when I'm supposed to be working
I blog when I'm supposed to be working

I often wonder why I'm not always this way
I mean, I have reason to be
I guess that would be depression
I miss my family and friends

I guess it's just one of those bad day days
When I should have stayed in bed
Maybe it's the weather

Needs, Wants and Gorra Gorra Haves!

That which we often convince ourselves that we want
Might not be that which is good for us
Might also not be that which we are meant to have
But that which we want might often appear to be shiny and new
And on the inside that which we want might be dull and empty

That which we think we need, which we gotta gotta have
Might infact be that which if we took a step back
We realize that, that which we think we need
which we gotta gotta have is actually that which needs not to be needed by us

That which is good for us is often left on the back burner
Often disregarded, Often Ignored till the very last minute
When everything else fades away then that which we often convince ourselves that we want,which we think we need, which we gotta gotta have become worthless
And that which is good for us, which real really truly need
Has expired!


I'm never leaving my precious yogurt for anything else again! :(

Something to Think About...

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God


-----Chris Tomlin Lyrics from "Indescribable"

Titus Pullo..NOOOOOO

So, HBO's Rome is all about duh...Ancient Rome. One of the main characters is Titus Pullo..soldier extradordinaire...he follows orders,does what he is told, is loyal thru and thru. His story is interesting, makes me want to watch the movie Titus starring Anthony Hopkins. In one episode, he rescued a slave girl who he ended up getting married to after buying her freedom and killing her husband but that was because he loved her. I'm really trying to summarize here and make a serious point.
So, Eirene, his wife/former slave girl is pregnant, and some other slave girl was giving her lip so she asked Titus to beat her. Rewind to where Titus is not getting any since she got pregnant cuz she said it's not good for the baby. So this lil hoochie of a slave girl sha seduces Titus and he sleeps with her. The formerly arrogant slave girl now has something to be arrogant about and stuff. Titus recognizes that he made a mistake and I know he's sorry, but I also know he'll probably do it again. I also watched The Last Kiss this weekend.
Ah yes! My point.."To err is human"
My own psychoanalysis of men/boys/the male species with regards to women/girls/the superior species is that there are three types of men.
Man Type #1
Those who know what/who they want and are strong enough to go after it, find it and do what it takes to keep it.
Man Type #2
Then there are those who know what/who they want, go after it but are not strong enough to resist temptation along the way and often lose what they want and may never get it back...all for nothing.
Man Type #3
The third type are those who have absolutely no idea who they want, and just go around screwing around with ppls hearts and feelings.

Women...are scary...cuz I think we have a better idea of what/who we want but are easily influenced by what other ppl around us want, or what we are supposed to want or what is shiny and attractive and appeals to us. We can also get easily cajoled by the third kind of male and completely lose sight of what we want. The scary part of women is when we want who/wat someone else has...then it just gets down right nasty and most women will do whatever they can to get it.

The problem with this is that even if the woman do succeed, she would end up with Man Type #2. Man Type #2 will end up realizing that he had what/who he wanted and will hate her for making him lose it even tho he should be hating himself...he might up getting back what he wants leaving her even more bitter than before.

So the moral of the story kids..find your own want and stop chasing after someone elses...and also know what you want and try not to lose it. :)

A month and a week away

I dunno that I'm dreading turning 24. I love it...I welcome it. After all good things happen around that number 24.
Jack Bauer saves the world in 24 hrs.
24 is not 23 like that psycho Jim Carrey Movie.
There are 24 (2 weeks) in a year and that's how often we get paid
24 means more responsibility sha..and I finally have to decide if I want to go back to school..plus I've started making those old groaning sounds when i sit or stand up! *shivers*
I hope that 24 is like 23 only betterer....:)