That which we often convince ourselves that we want
Might not be that which is good for us
Might also not be that which we are meant to have
But that which we want might often appear to be shiny and new
And on the inside that which we want might be dull and empty
That which we think we need, which we gotta gotta have
Might infact be that which if we took a step back
We realize that, that which we think we need
which we gotta gotta have is actually that which needs not to be needed by us
That which is good for us is often left on the back burner
Often disregarded, Often Ignored till the very last minute
When everything else fades away then that which we often convince ourselves that we want,which we think we need, which we gotta gotta have become worthless
And that which is good for us, which real really truly need
Has expired!
I'm never leaving my precious yogurt for anything else again! :(
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Something to Think About...
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
-----Chris Tomlin Lyrics from "Indescribable"
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
-----Chris Tomlin Lyrics from "Indescribable"
Monday, March 5, 2007
Titus Pullo..NOOOOOO
So, HBO's Rome is all about duh...Ancient Rome. One of the main characters is Titus Pullo..soldier extradordinaire...he follows orders,does what he is told, is loyal thru and thru. His story is interesting, makes me want to watch the movie Titus starring Anthony Hopkins. In one episode, he rescued a slave girl who he ended up getting married to after buying her freedom and killing her husband but that was because he loved her. I'm really trying to summarize here and make a serious point.
So, Eirene, his wife/former slave girl is pregnant, and some other slave girl was giving her lip so she asked Titus to beat her. Rewind to where Titus is not getting any since she got pregnant cuz she said it's not good for the baby. So this lil hoochie of a slave girl sha seduces Titus and he sleeps with her. The formerly arrogant slave girl now has something to be arrogant about and stuff. Titus recognizes that he made a mistake and I know he's sorry, but I also know he'll probably do it again. I also watched The Last Kiss this weekend.
Ah yes! My point.."To err is human"
My own psychoanalysis of men/boys/the male species with regards to women/girls/the superior species is that there are three types of men.
Man Type #1
Those who know what/who they want and are strong enough to go after it, find it and do what it takes to keep it.
Man Type #2
Then there are those who know what/who they want, go after it but are not strong enough to resist temptation along the way and often lose what they want and may never get it back...all for nothing.
Man Type #3
The third type are those who have absolutely no idea who they want, and just go around screwing around with ppls hearts and feelings.
Women...are scary...cuz I think we have a better idea of what/who we want but are easily influenced by what other ppl around us want, or what we are supposed to want or what is shiny and attractive and appeals to us. We can also get easily cajoled by the third kind of male and completely lose sight of what we want. The scary part of women is when we want who/wat someone else has...then it just gets down right nasty and most women will do whatever they can to get it.
The problem with this is that even if the woman do succeed, she would end up with Man Type #2. Man Type #2 will end up realizing that he had what/who he wanted and will hate her for making him lose it even tho he should be hating himself...he might up getting back what he wants leaving her even more bitter than before.
So the moral of the story kids..find your own want and stop chasing after someone elses...and also know what you want and try not to lose it. :)
Thursday, March 1, 2007
A month and a week away
I dunno that I'm dreading turning 24. I love it...I welcome it. After all good things happen around that number 24.
Jack Bauer saves the world in 24 hrs.
24 is not 23 like that psycho Jim Carrey Movie.
There are 24 (2 weeks) in a year and that's how often we get paid
24 means more responsibility sha..and I finally have to decide if I want to go back to school..plus I've started making those old groaning sounds when i sit or stand up! *shivers*
I hope that 24 is like 23 only betterer....:)
Jack Bauer saves the world in 24 hrs.
24 is not 23 like that psycho Jim Carrey Movie.
There are 24 (2 weeks) in a year and that's how often we get paid
24 means more responsibility sha..and I finally have to decide if I want to go back to school..plus I've started making those old groaning sounds when i sit or stand up! *shivers*
I hope that 24 is like 23 only betterer....:)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Life...oh Life
So I was raised in the church. I believe in God, I believe that Jesus came and died on the cross to reconcile us with our Father. I know of all the promises and how much love God has for us and how unconditional that love is and how he is willing to take us back after we've done our dirt.
So like Paul said and i paraphrase...does this mean that we should keep sinning because we have grace? and to that he replies God forbid.
I think knowing all this put me at an early disadvantage because I know that if I sin, all i have to do is ask for forgiveness and believe I've been forgiven and go and sin no more...but i do and then that's when that whole grace thing comes into the picture...and it has been a vicious cycle for a while. Well, I'm over it...sin no longer has a place in my life...I'm done.
How do i plan to be done you ask? Well it's all about one day at a time...continually asking God for His help in my everyday dealings. I know he's giving me a million gazillion chances, but I know that if I'm serious about my relationship with him I will make it. Like my old pastor Gary used to say...you have to be willing to pick up that cross a million times a day. I dont expect it to be easy but I expect to make my walk with Him a ritual that I crave and I look forward to everyday....and I'm putting myself out here on blast in front of the whole world but I need to hold myself accountable in my heart.
So like Paul said and i paraphrase...does this mean that we should keep sinning because we have grace? and to that he replies God forbid.
I think knowing all this put me at an early disadvantage because I know that if I sin, all i have to do is ask for forgiveness and believe I've been forgiven and go and sin no more...but i do and then that's when that whole grace thing comes into the picture...and it has been a vicious cycle for a while. Well, I'm over it...sin no longer has a place in my life...I'm done.
How do i plan to be done you ask? Well it's all about one day at a time...continually asking God for His help in my everyday dealings. I know he's giving me a million gazillion chances, but I know that if I'm serious about my relationship with him I will make it. Like my old pastor Gary used to say...you have to be willing to pick up that cross a million times a day. I dont expect it to be easy but I expect to make my walk with Him a ritual that I crave and I look forward to everyday....and I'm putting myself out here on blast in front of the whole world but I need to hold myself accountable in my heart.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Today
Today, I opened my bible and this was the first thing that caught my eye...how fitting!
Si then I went online to find where i could copy and paste it but instead i found this....which i also love.
Verse 1-4 - The only way of relief for a sin-entangled soul, is by applying to God alone. Many things present themselves as diversions, many things offer themselves as remedies, but the soul finds that the Lord alone can heal. And until men are sensible of the guilt of sin, and quit all to come at once to God, it is in vain for them to expect any relief. The Holy Ghost gives to such poor souls a fresh sense of their deep necessity, to stir them up in earnest applications, by the prayer of faith, by crying to God. And as they love their souls, as they are concerned for the glory of the Lord, they are not to be wanting in this duty. Why is it that these matters are so long uncertain with them? Is it not from sloth and despondency that they content themselves with common and customary applications to God? Then let us up and be doing; it must be done, and it is attended with safety. We are to humble ourselves before God, as guilty in his sight. Let us acknowledge our sinfulness; we cannot justify ourselves, or plead not guilty. It is our unspeakable comfort that there is forgiveness with him, for that is what we need. Jesus Christ is the great Ransom; he is ever an Advocate for us, and through him we hope to obtain forgiveness. There is forgiveness with thee, not that thou mayest be presumed upon, but that thou mayest be feared. The fear of God often is put for the whole worship of God. The only motive and encouragement for sinners is this, that there is forgiveness with the Lord.
Verse 5-8 - It is for the Lord that my soul waits, for the gifts of his grace, and the working of his power. We must hope for that only which he has promised in his word. Like those who wish to see the dawn, being very desirous that light would come long before day; but still more earnestly does a good man long for the tokens of God's favour, and the visits of his grace. Let all that devote themselves to the Lord, cheerfully stay themselves on him. This redemption is redemption from all sin. Jesus Christ saves his people from their sins, both from the condemning and from the commanding power of sin. It is plenteous redemption; there is an all-sufficient fulness in the Redeemer, enough for all, enough for each; therefore enough for me, says the believer. Redemption from sin includes redemption from all other evils, therefore it is a plenteous redemption, through the atoning blood of Jesus, who shall redeem his people from all their sins. All that wait on God for mercy and grace, are sure to have peace.
Psalm 130:
1 Out of the depts I cry to you O Lord;
2 O Lord, hear my voice.Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy
3 If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord Wwho could stand?
4 But with you there is foregiveness;therefore you are feared.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, an in his word I put my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning
7 O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love
8 He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins
Si then I went online to find where i could copy and paste it but instead i found this....which i also love.
Verse 1-4 - The only way of relief for a sin-entangled soul, is by applying to God alone. Many things present themselves as diversions, many things offer themselves as remedies, but the soul finds that the Lord alone can heal. And until men are sensible of the guilt of sin, and quit all to come at once to God, it is in vain for them to expect any relief. The Holy Ghost gives to such poor souls a fresh sense of their deep necessity, to stir them up in earnest applications, by the prayer of faith, by crying to God. And as they love their souls, as they are concerned for the glory of the Lord, they are not to be wanting in this duty. Why is it that these matters are so long uncertain with them? Is it not from sloth and despondency that they content themselves with common and customary applications to God? Then let us up and be doing; it must be done, and it is attended with safety. We are to humble ourselves before God, as guilty in his sight. Let us acknowledge our sinfulness; we cannot justify ourselves, or plead not guilty. It is our unspeakable comfort that there is forgiveness with him, for that is what we need. Jesus Christ is the great Ransom; he is ever an Advocate for us, and through him we hope to obtain forgiveness. There is forgiveness with thee, not that thou mayest be presumed upon, but that thou mayest be feared. The fear of God often is put for the whole worship of God. The only motive and encouragement for sinners is this, that there is forgiveness with the Lord.
Verse 5-8 - It is for the Lord that my soul waits, for the gifts of his grace, and the working of his power. We must hope for that only which he has promised in his word. Like those who wish to see the dawn, being very desirous that light would come long before day; but still more earnestly does a good man long for the tokens of God's favour, and the visits of his grace. Let all that devote themselves to the Lord, cheerfully stay themselves on him. This redemption is redemption from all sin. Jesus Christ saves his people from their sins, both from the condemning and from the commanding power of sin. It is plenteous redemption; there is an all-sufficient fulness in the Redeemer, enough for all, enough for each; therefore enough for me, says the believer. Redemption from sin includes redemption from all other evils, therefore it is a plenteous redemption, through the atoning blood of Jesus, who shall redeem his people from all their sins. All that wait on God for mercy and grace, are sure to have peace.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Semi-love
Can't be putting no negative stuff on my blog, so i'm not going to say hate. Not that i hate any of these ppl.
So anyways, I believe that ppl are brought into your life for specific reasons..some temporary and some permanent. The temporary ones come, teach you a lesson and they leave. I've been fortunate not to come across too many bad eggs as far as girls are concerned..so I can't even start with that whole I'm more comfortable talking to boys than girls bit...I'm just really choosy with my girl friends...in short, I'm done..no more applications to the inner sanctum. I'll talk about the girls that I semi-love...all four of them; Chituru, Grapevine,Market Woman and Slim Shady..:)
Chituru: supposed family friend, we went to Loral together and for some odd reason, she felt the need to compete with me...she was really light skinned and always, always had a cold sore..like what was up with that..herpes much? Anyways..Loral had this Primary 4 special class...pretty much, if you got into P4 special, you got to skip Primary 5 and go to primary 6 straight. There were two P4 specials, we both got in, but we weren't in the same class..even still, heifer would be competing with me for grads..everytime it was what did u get, what did u get? That lil fool! So anyways..she would always walk up to me and whisper mean stuff in my ear and when we would go to their house, she would be a snobby lil bloodsucker..etc..etc. Gosh. Sha sha oh, when the Common Entrance came about..it just so happend that yours truly had the highest score in the whole school...and the next person was like 30 frigging points behind her...NOW WHAT HUH!! NOW WHAT!! all your mouth making and ish didn't really amount to nothing now did it! Freaking bish! If i see her now, I'mo have to slap her just for being so vicious...it was all very mean girlie..
Grapevine: Ok..let me put on a disclaimer...I really do semi-love this girl..I wouldn't give her my kidney, but you know...I would mention in my blog that she needs a kidney and maybe someone who randomly stumbles by would be the perfect match (God forbid she ever need a kidney tho..Amen). We used to be super close in secondary school (shut up about those sister jokes! >(..) anyways, it was all well and good, she had a lot of senior friends and school fathers and mothers, and I used to tag along...so me to I got my own school father tee hee..but after a while it just got old. I think I was slightly a hater because in dorm,when we all had to get out, homegirl would still be sleeping and then after everyone was out, she would now wake up, go take a shower in someone's duty and got to class..wtf used to live in such luxury in boarding school? Na craze...anyways, we were still close sha, but in JS2 i think i heard from some of my other friends that she was saying stuff about me behind my back..and from then on we just stopped being cool,cool...could never really cut the cord tho, for whatever reason. We sha ended up in the same school years later..go figure and she was still the same..she had something to say about everyone and she never remembered who she heard it from...bloody annoying if you ask me. I remember her telling LDR#1 that I didn't really like him and I was just in a relationship with him just to be in one...the truth of the matter was that it was also partially out of pity but the heffalump didnt have to tell him! There's a girl's oath of silence...can't believe she said that to him..anyways..she got hers. Boys are mean sha..so it turned out that she was "talking" to two of my guy friends at the same time, and I told him, told him she was "talking" to the other boy but they wouldn't listen...sha sha..they finally confronted her on 6 way..I was on the phone with one of them, and he was on the phone with the other dude, and someone sha called her, two other ppl were on the phone..so it was like three 3-ways..and she didnt know. So she got caught in a lie and they all pounced on her and verbally dissed her on the phone...while I did not/do not condone it...it was deliciously wicked..like devil's chocolate cake... I guess the main lesson I learnt from her is that you should be careful who you trust and who u consider to be your friend. But c'est la vie..we move on.
Slim Shady: Ok this girl I just dont know...at first I thot she was just naive but even that one get it's own levels...she was incredibly smart and she helped me out with some of my school work and ish but at the same time..she was friends with grapevine...and i'm naturally wary of ppl that can be cool cool with her..because she likes to talk about other ppl..even if they spent 5% of their time talking about nigerian movies, 5% about miscellaneous stuff, 5% about boys, 5% about school..that left a whole 80% to be focused on other ppl...one comment she made to me was about grapevine and it always stuck..something like "hmm, some ppl that you consider to be your friends don't feel that same way about you"...and I knew exactly who she was talking about. Life sha.. anyways, she makes snide lil comments that can be easily retracted or restated to be less offensive,but you know what her primary aim was...ppl like that scare me oh!
Market Woman: you know how some ppl, just rub you the wrong way and/or are excessively abrasive eg: pauly shore and gilbert gottfried(sp)...like u just want to use a fly swatter and squish them! UGH...like freaking GET AWAY FROM ME!!! yeah...that's what market woman will do to ya. Now i'm not trying to be a snob because girl is actually quite smart..it's just that I feel like even lil smart comments that I could say to maybe make her aware of her behavior is wasted on her..she won't ever get it...like explaining quantum physics to jessica simpson..useless. Anyway oh, this heiffer had the guts to call me a bitch and an e-diot! all because I didn't let her into a club that I couldn't even let her into at that point...like it was freaking packed wat did they want me to do? Anyways..that didn't even phase me, it just gave me a reason to do what i had always wanted to do...cut her off!
See..for all my approaching 2 dozen years (OMG...I'm having a semi freak out!)..i've only had the misfortune of meeting 4 inner sanctum rejects..God is good!
So anyways, I believe that ppl are brought into your life for specific reasons..some temporary and some permanent. The temporary ones come, teach you a lesson and they leave. I've been fortunate not to come across too many bad eggs as far as girls are concerned..so I can't even start with that whole I'm more comfortable talking to boys than girls bit...I'm just really choosy with my girl friends...in short, I'm done..no more applications to the inner sanctum. I'll talk about the girls that I semi-love...all four of them; Chituru, Grapevine,Market Woman and Slim Shady..:)
Chituru: supposed family friend, we went to Loral together and for some odd reason, she felt the need to compete with me...she was really light skinned and always, always had a cold sore..like what was up with that..herpes much? Anyways..Loral had this Primary 4 special class...pretty much, if you got into P4 special, you got to skip Primary 5 and go to primary 6 straight. There were two P4 specials, we both got in, but we weren't in the same class..even still, heifer would be competing with me for grads..everytime it was what did u get, what did u get? That lil fool! So anyways..she would always walk up to me and whisper mean stuff in my ear and when we would go to their house, she would be a snobby lil bloodsucker..etc..etc. Gosh. Sha sha oh, when the Common Entrance came about..it just so happend that yours truly had the highest score in the whole school...and the next person was like 30 frigging points behind her...NOW WHAT HUH!! NOW WHAT!! all your mouth making and ish didn't really amount to nothing now did it! Freaking bish! If i see her now, I'mo have to slap her just for being so vicious...it was all very mean girlie..
Grapevine: Ok..let me put on a disclaimer...I really do semi-love this girl..I wouldn't give her my kidney, but you know...I would mention in my blog that she needs a kidney and maybe someone who randomly stumbles by would be the perfect match (God forbid she ever need a kidney tho..Amen). We used to be super close in secondary school (shut up about those sister jokes! >(..) anyways, it was all well and good, she had a lot of senior friends and school fathers and mothers, and I used to tag along...so me to I got my own school father tee hee..but after a while it just got old. I think I was slightly a hater because in dorm,when we all had to get out, homegirl would still be sleeping and then after everyone was out, she would now wake up, go take a shower in someone's duty and got to class..wtf used to live in such luxury in boarding school? Na craze...anyways, we were still close sha, but in JS2 i think i heard from some of my other friends that she was saying stuff about me behind my back..and from then on we just stopped being cool,cool...could never really cut the cord tho, for whatever reason. We sha ended up in the same school years later..go figure and she was still the same..she had something to say about everyone and she never remembered who she heard it from...bloody annoying if you ask me. I remember her telling LDR#1 that I didn't really like him and I was just in a relationship with him just to be in one...the truth of the matter was that it was also partially out of pity but the heffalump didnt have to tell him! There's a girl's oath of silence...can't believe she said that to him..anyways..she got hers. Boys are mean sha..so it turned out that she was "talking" to two of my guy friends at the same time, and I told him, told him she was "talking" to the other boy but they wouldn't listen...sha sha..they finally confronted her on 6 way..I was on the phone with one of them, and he was on the phone with the other dude, and someone sha called her, two other ppl were on the phone..so it was like three 3-ways..and she didnt know. So she got caught in a lie and they all pounced on her and verbally dissed her on the phone...while I did not/do not condone it...it was deliciously wicked..like devil's chocolate cake... I guess the main lesson I learnt from her is that you should be careful who you trust and who u consider to be your friend. But c'est la vie..we move on.
Slim Shady: Ok this girl I just dont know...at first I thot she was just naive but even that one get it's own levels...she was incredibly smart and she helped me out with some of my school work and ish but at the same time..she was friends with grapevine...and i'm naturally wary of ppl that can be cool cool with her..because she likes to talk about other ppl..even if they spent 5% of their time talking about nigerian movies, 5% about miscellaneous stuff, 5% about boys, 5% about school..that left a whole 80% to be focused on other ppl...one comment she made to me was about grapevine and it always stuck..something like "hmm, some ppl that you consider to be your friends don't feel that same way about you"...and I knew exactly who she was talking about. Life sha.. anyways, she makes snide lil comments that can be easily retracted or restated to be less offensive,but you know what her primary aim was...ppl like that scare me oh!
Market Woman: you know how some ppl, just rub you the wrong way and/or are excessively abrasive eg: pauly shore and gilbert gottfried(sp)...like u just want to use a fly swatter and squish them! UGH...like freaking GET AWAY FROM ME!!! yeah...that's what market woman will do to ya. Now i'm not trying to be a snob because girl is actually quite smart..it's just that I feel like even lil smart comments that I could say to maybe make her aware of her behavior is wasted on her..she won't ever get it...like explaining quantum physics to jessica simpson..useless. Anyway oh, this heiffer had the guts to call me a bitch and an e-diot! all because I didn't let her into a club that I couldn't even let her into at that point...like it was freaking packed wat did they want me to do? Anyways..that didn't even phase me, it just gave me a reason to do what i had always wanted to do...cut her off!
See..for all my approaching 2 dozen years (OMG...I'm having a semi freak out!)..i've only had the misfortune of meeting 4 inner sanctum rejects..God is good!
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