Monday, May 25, 2009


Random stuff... i'm watching Jon & Kate plus 8 and they just showed the kids 5th birthday. Jon and Kate are pretty much not speaking to each other. It hurts my heart hurts... It goes back to my cheating question. I've heard Jon say something about "the grass being greener". I'm sorry..i dont get it, i just don't.
Even if nothing happened..just the fact that you put yourself in that situation. He seems so nonchalant...maybe i'm being really hard on him and looking at it from the woman's perspective.
He wants to quit the show..she doesn't because she doesn't think it will solve anything or fix the situation...AND because they have no other source of income.
How do you go on from something like this? How do you move past it.

The Nigerian in me...maybe the christian in me just believes that they need to turn back to God. It's just awkward..even for me watching. My prayer..and I will pray everyday for that they fix their problems and stay together as a family. Amen

In other the same vein
I hate self-help books. I believe that the only self-help book i need is the bible. I've read a couple.."Who moved my cheese" and "The Alchemist" at different stages in my life and I like them because they are short and sweet but the message resonates. However, lately, i've been noticing a slight change in my general persona/outlook on life. I think it slowly crept up on me. I think i'm overly worried and concerned about things going on in my life...about my relationships etc. So I picked up another "self-help" book "Don't sweat the small stuff..and it's all small stuff". At first, I was reading it like a novel and i realized that I wasn't really absorbing it. So i decided to read a chapter or two a day. I think that definitely helped me. And when i start sweating the small stuff...i try and remember to apply what i've read that day.
I'm in a sharing mood so i'll highlight what i've learned so far.
1. Don't sweat the small stuff: don't get worked up about things that are really not that big a deal.sounds easy enough eh?...we'll see how that goes
2. Make peace with imperfection..i think i've long given up attempting to be!
3. Let go of the idea that gentle, relaxed people can't be superacheivers:never thought that sha
4. Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking: I am soooo guilty of this..i think.."well what if i do this..or this happens...and that just develops into a whole messy situation...and this all happens within the walls of my mind, sometimes it escapes and causes even more trouble. His advice is to notice when this is happening before your thoughts build momentum and will yourself to stop. Trust me..i tried that this weekend..i promise it works! He goes on to say, you may indeed be a busy person, but remember that filling your head with thoughts of how overwhelmed you are only exacerbates the problem by making you feel even more overwhelmed.
5. Develop your compassion: willingness to put yourself in someone else's shoes. will try to work on that for real
6. Remind yourself that when you die, your "in basket"wont be empty: i guess basically, dont kill yourself trying to accomplish all your tasks..cuz new tasks will always replace them. will work on that too!
7. Dont interrupt others or finish their sentences: dont think i do that.
8. Do something nice for someone else--and dont tell anyone about it: i used to do this a that one time i...(ha! thought i was gonna tell didn't ya?)
9. Let others have the glory: i think i do that
10. Learn to live in the present moment: this one got me..i dont often do that...i worry about things that might happen and i let that affect how i react in the present. He went on to quote the serenity prayer..which i admit i used to think was lame..but in this context...i say it often during the day.. mainly just the "Dear God...Change things i can..Accept the things I cannot change...wisdom to know the difference" and also Mark Twain " I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened"

So i've decided to live in the present, and not let past problems or future concerns to dominate my present moment. Good things will happen..i'll accept them. Bad things will happen..i'll deal with them as best as I can. Worrying about them is not going to change that. But as i remember not to sweat the small stuff...I hope that I'll be able to deal with the bad things much better. All things work for the good of them that love Him abi?

Hope everyone had a wonderful relaxing long weekend....and is not already worrying about the stress of tomorrow... tomorrow can bring it on...we'll take it..whatever it maybe.

Gnite folks!


Original Mgbeke said...

I need to read the Alchemist. Everyone talks about it. Well, in general I tend to be really laid back. I hung out with some folk and someone asked if I was the last born? I asked why and the person said..'I can just tell, you see hella laid back' so in general i try not to sweat the small stuff and I just accept things as they are. Ish happens and me fretting won't really change the situ, or will it?

Nice Anon said...

I never watch that show but that dude comes off as a slow dude. I donno for them.

Yes things work out good for those that Love God! I know this for a fact! God is not mocked. Whatsoever you sow that you shall reap!

Worrying about things you cannot control is a bitch. I tell you.

Kate said...

lol @ Mgbeks...i need to be more like you. Roll with the punches and stuff. It seems easy in theory but na to apply am.
NiceAnon...serious bitch for real...i'm stopping that!! like yesterday!

Repressed One said...

I read the alchemist and didn't get the 'life changing' feeling everyone raves about *shrugs*

I don't worry. Sometimes i wonder if its normal to not worry as much as i don't [lol, did that make sense?]. Like mgbeks, i roll with the punches...almost to a fault sef

I could use #4 in other non-worry related areas sha...

Kate said...

you did get that life changing probably just repressed it :D
What other areas? Do share!!!

MPB said...

I thought you said you HATE self help books so how come your post is lauding one? I read the Alchemist and while it was an ok book with a very good message, it didn't wow me like "Redeeming love."

Kate said...

I hate them in general..but I will laud the ones that i have found helpful to me...the ones that are not overly preachy...but short and to the point.

TayneMent said...

I am still convinced the alchemist is one of those overrated books. I couldnt get past chapter 1

Nice Anon said...

I just love how you update very often! I just do

RocNaija said...

Just checking up on ya'
Hope youre doing okay?

Lol @ Nice Anon.. Double entrendre