I have had numerous conversations with friends and family about this whole "you just know stuff" that married ppl be saying after they get married or when they are engaged.
It's almost like marriage is some exclusive cult that brainwashes ppl into that mindset of "we didn't go through any drama, when our eyes met across the crowded room, time stopped, the heavens opened up and we JUST knew that we were meant for each other".
No offense to my married ppl..and I'm sure that there are ppl out there who knew from day 1 and are still happily ever aftering but some "Just Knewers" have to account for the 50% divorce rate in this country and the growing divorce rate in Nigeria..abi?
It actually sort of insults my intelligence when people say that but i think maybe it's that same protein that makes mothers forget what they go through for 9 months and during labor so that they can keep reproducing that makes married couples forget all the fights/make ups and break ups and drama that paved their road to happily ever after.
So here is my take..once again not backed by any proof (as per the brainwashing thing) but feel free non-married and married ppl to throw in your 2 cents..tell me if I'm just bsing. :)
FIRST OF ALL!!! YOU DON'T JUST KNOW...you know ENOUGH
....you know enough to want to stick around and find out where things may lead
....you know enough about yourself to know if the relationship is what you want and the flaws are what you can handle
....you know enough about your partner to know that hopefully, they feel the same way too
....you know enough (if you are spiritual/religious)to know that God definitely has to be involved for it to work
....you know enough to accept that it won't always be cake and cookies but are willing to stick it through the hard times and work things out
....you know enough to know when what you know is not enough..
This is why I believe there is no set TIME to get married, societal pressure and sales rack propaganda be damned. Because if you know that you don't know enough and you too you go jump the broom, better make sure you are spiritual because only God will see you through that relationship...and it just might work.
So why then you ask is this "You just know" idea still being propagated?
Maybe it makes ppl feel better/more certain about their choice..it's a big choice and self-affirmation has been shown to work wonders...who knows.
My prayer for everyone is that they don't "Just Know"...they know "Enough". Just knowing could someday lead to not knowing while knowing enough concedes that you don't know everything.
I know enough to know that I don't know everything and I never will but I think as I've grown up and come to accept this fact,I'm content enough with my lack of knowledge to know when i know enough.
Again no offense to my married ppl o. I love you guys and you serve as huge sources of inspiration for the likes of me!! :)
I was gonna post this on FB..but em..fear con catch me small as i reread am!! Not trynna incur anyone's wrath for speaking my mind albeit Obama 'O8 and junk!! Freedom of speech or no! :)
ps. I was reading RepOne's post about soulmates and I had a response but then i forgot it... let me unclutter my brain from all this learning crap and then it's on and popping!
pps: y'all know the deal...prayers for ya girl tomorrow 2-5pm..it's worked so far, surely it must continue to work! Amen 'Preciates!
ppps: try pink lemonade plus fruit punch plus mountain dew in equal quantities with a hint of ice...magical!!
pppps: Hi Tayney!!!:)