Monday, August 10, 2009

Open Letter Version 2.0

Dear DirectTV...
Everyday is for the thief and one day is for the owner. I own you son!!! Haha...um..my bad i got carried away. Anyway..see me see trouble o, I signed up for directv when i moved to a new place because they were offering lots of orisirisi...6 months of HBO, 3 months of showtime, $200 jetblue gift card, DVR..all for a pretty good deal..or so i thought. All i had to do was sign up for 1 year of service right? So why after my 1 year contract was up did i try to cancel only to find out that while my service contract was for 1 year..the contract with a DVR is 2 years?
Chineke! I'm stuck..to cancel is $280 and i refuse to pay that on principle..I was duped! hoodwinked! Bamboozled! NO FAIR.
Sooo..i called my new place and asked if i was allowed to have a dish and they said no...it's a safety hazard. So what did i do? I called Directv and scheduled a free move..with 3 months of showtime and starz included!
Ol' installation dude shows up and is not allowed to set up..so he calls me
Ol' : hi, you know you're not allowed to have directv in this apartment right?
Me: Huh? No..what do you mean? I can't talk right now..i'm moving!
Ol':well you need to call directv blah blah blah
Me: I can't talk right now..have them call me
So they call me and I pretty much play dumb again.

This story is getting long sha...basic gist..i call them back two days later..they finally agree that there's no "line of sight" so even if i wanted to get dish..i can't. Through no fault of my own.:innocent face:.so my contract has to be cancelled and I dont have to pay no stinking $280. Boooyah!!

Dear Houston,TX.
Why you gotta be so damn hot? From the moment i stepped off the plane..all i wanted was a strawberry slush and a cold cold shower!! WHY? JUST FREAKING WHY? NO air!! Men...however...I did/am having a fabulous time chilling with the neph! he is the cutest thing since ever..he used to have a fauxhawk but he cut it all off now he has this grown man look to him. He's soooo smart too..and he has rhythm.

Dear *bad* lacefront wig houston,tx wearers..(emphasis on bad because not all of them are bad),
Yes..nobody died and made me fashion god...me sef i'm a fashion victim most of the time but damn!! I mean if you're going to have that thing on your head...at least put some effort into making it look..i'm not even going to say real..because..c'mon.. PRESENTABLE. I just weak! Take a class..do something! PLEASE...AND THANK YOU!. Then again..it's probably just me being a weirdo..so carry on.

Dear fake ass mothersuckers in houston,tx..,
you know yourself and i wish i could expose your multiple wife having, system duping, every opportunity to lick ass having selves because i have absolutely zero respect for you. Ppl that you'd never see or associate with all of a sudden showing up at your house because they want to be seen/rub elbows with "influential" ppl..and you are eating the food i lovingly prepared for family and friends..c'mon TA! gbafuo ndi nzuzu!

Um....I've been so out of the blog world loop..i will try to make my rounds when i return back to the real world.

Deuces!

10 comments:

Nice Anon said...

buahahahahaaha onye nzuzu indeed! LOL@ bad lace front.. biko can lace front be that "bad"?

See you got a good deal. Everyday is for the thief indeed and one day for the owner. Show dem jare!
This reminds me when they used to blow up our phone for it. Na so my mama ask them " isn't this that one where it rains.. you loose the picture? remember that commercial? lol

Repressed One said...

lol@ them Houston lace front wearer...they are Notorious for that mess and i still aint seen ONE non-celebrity person that thing looks good on...they all look drag in it.

doll said...

so you hoodwinked them too
LOL@ lace wig

Fabulo-la said...

U did what??? to DirecTV?
Wow u get liver o..

lool @ the lacefront..LOOOL
How much worse can that thing look?
lool

RocNaija said...

F'real though.. Did they truly get owned or you just got lucky? :)

Kate said...

On lacefront..i have no problem with it..or the occasional wig meself..i just hate it when it looks off.
On directV..:) i think i just may have gotten lucky i wont lie because i was already budgeting to shell out that money o!

Tisha said...

you are a true naija chic, you did them 419.
I should say bad gal don't do that again but i will only say, if you plan corn, you'll get a field of grass. lol

Original Mgbeke said...

Ha Ha Ha, I was just in the H meself...those girls were killing me with the lacefronts sha o. Aniwoos, Houston peeps tend to be on some very special steez.

What Nigerian Women deal with. said...

ive just given up on lace wig. plus i think its putting hair dressers out of business. lol

Penelope said...

Did u change ur layout? hmmm very nice tho, and bright!!
LOL at the lacewig girls, i can only imagine.
That was a smart way to get rid of the DirectTv pple tho. Funny cus u didnt even stress, good for u.