Almost doesnt count

I almost feel normal
Naturally still miss us-him
But
I was thinking and i didnt know what to believe
When you don't know what to believe--believe yourself.
Not kids..should be able to maintain an adult relationship
should be willing to put in the work and effort to make it work
cant do that alone
cant feel alone in it
cant lie
not cool

maybe i wanted too much too soon
should've been more patient
didn't know what to believe
or
refused to believe what was in front of me
distractions are strong