Thursday, April 30, 2009

"Games..Changes and Fears..(Part Un: Fears)

I totally meant to post this yesterday....my bad...Mgbeks how you gon be smheee @ me? you suppose understand. Roc, NiceAnon and RepressedOne aka BlogdeserterforanewblogthatKatedoesnothaveaccessto (yes i called you out..what you gon do bout it? :)...here ya go
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..when will they go from here? When will they stop?" - Macy Gray

I'm not even gonna try to approach this issue from a broad perspective. Sometimes, I find that some things you think are so personal and so unique to your situation turn out to be not so unique.....therefore......

I went through this phase where I never wanted to get married AKA the teenage years
- My parents I think, are typical naija parents...well for the most part I guess. None of that "honey" "baby" "sweetie" stuff. Don't think I've ever heard them say "I love you" even...well maybe my mom...my mom is the bubbly outgoing one and my dad is the shy,quiet introverted one. They'd argue in front of us, but I don't think I ever witnessed them resolving their arguments (i must not have been a very perceptive child and i had my own issues). We moved from naija right as I was getting cozy in teenagedom and it was a truly stressful time for all of us (READ: it was HELL!). I know I definitely snapped, argued with my parents a lot.stayed in my room all day and listened to ROCK and HEAVY METAL (READ: Korn and Marilyn Manson)..i don't think i liked them very much (my parents that is)..
So I decided then that I never wanted to get married..or have kids because I didn't ever want to have to depend on someone else for my happiness or make any one else unhappy.
And then one day..like someone turned on the lights in my head I came to a very obvious realization: "My parents..like everyone else are human and predisposed to err"! Whodathunk huh? Accepting this made it easier for me to see past them being my parents to them being human, take all the good parts of their relationship and learn from the bad.
From my parents, I decided that

  • I want a partner who loves his family
  • I want a partner who puts his family first
  • I want a partner who is trusting and trustworthy
  • I want a partner who is dependable
  • I want a partner who is open to communication and conflict resolution
  • I want a partner who is willing to do all in his power to ensure that they/we are healthy and happy and comfortable kinda like my Daddy :)

And in return

  • I want to be a partner who is supportive
  • I want to be a partner who is patient and willing to work through problems
  • I want to be a partner who is trusting and trustworthy
  • I want to be a partner who listens
  • I pretty much just want to be a strong, God-fearing, loving kind woman just like my momma :) who has the biggest..biggest heart I've ever..ever seen!

7 comments:

Original Mgbeke said...

*smh*

RocNaija said...

Amen to that...

Nice Anon said...

where is it?

Repressed One said...

LOL!! Issues.d

Nice Anon said...

Eyaaaa. It will come to pass my dear. Just keep an open mind and your head up you hia?

Original Mgbeke said...

I like how you also showed us what you want to be. As per plenty of us dey make list and we never say what we ourselves will offer. All in all, i totally feel you. Your list is a good one, everything else i.e He must be hot, drive a BMW blahblah will fall into place. :-D

Nice Anon said...

you okay yeah?