Monday, July 13, 2009


Aight...guys and girls of blogworld
We all know that there are unwritten rules about dates exes friends.
Stemming from another conversation I had with my girl..she was so nice as to list which of her exes I had permission to date and which ones I didn' nice of her.

Girl Rule states: Under no circumstances are my friends ( friends ranging from my best friend from the womb to the lady i gave gum to on the bus that one time) allowed to even sniff in the general direction of not just someone i dated but anyone that i have a crush on.

Guy Rule states: I would appreciate a heads up from my friends if they are interested in my ex..but only exes that i was really serious about..i think..correct me if I'm wrong.

I guess my issues with either version of the code is this:
1. What if this your friend and your ex are meant to soul mates etc etc? Eventually you're either going to have to deal with it or remain bitter about it and that doesn't do anybody..especially you any good.
2. What if the dude is seriously like actively pursuing you and disregarding the obvious unwritten code? Actively as in constantly calling and all up in your grill..and the attraction is mutual....What do you do?
3. Is there an expiration date on this you can't date my ex ish? Like what if you are happily married with 3 kids..can your friend date your ex now? I mean you've obviously found your own soulmate
4. Say you "come to terms with it eventually" would you show up at their wedding? be Godmother?
1. Why does it appear to be easier for guys to let go/grant permission?
2. Does this mean y'all are less attached to exes than girls? Or maybe less territorial?
3. Why would you actively pursue your ex's bff even after you know about the unwritten rule?

Has anyone ever found themselves in this situation? If yes..would you admit to have been kinda scoping out the friend b4 you and your girl/you and your guy broke up?

Personally sha, I've never consciously put myself in any of these situations. Whether I've unconciously landed into a similar situation is a story for another day :)


Fabulo-la said...

ha ha ha ha!
How kind of ur friend. lool!
Ive never dated a friends least i dont think os, but i did date one guy dat my friend liked.
My defence? He asked me out not her
Na them sabi. Me I no send...

Kate said...

Fabulo-la..see..that there was a violation of the friend code plain and simpu!! Bad friend..BAD!!!

Nice Anon said...

I have never dated anyone that dated/liked a friend of mine and won't do it either. That guy isn't the only dude on earth. I don't meddle with such!

48 said...

Seriously tho, these rules aren't just rules. U can't truly care about someone and not care about the way they feel. Dating an ex, she still harbors some type of feelings for or dating someone she likes without her blessing is - simply put? offence to anyone:)

RocNaija said...

Your last paragraph pretty much summed up what I was going to say..

You don't put yourself in such circumstances.. but sometimes it happens while you're not looking..