Saturday, August 29, 2009

My take on Loving and Being In Love…
In response to MPB’s confusion
…………I’ma preface this by saying that this is one of those rare long posts that I sometimes question publishing because I feel like it’s preachy and who am I? and I know I haven’t made any concessions about other people’s perspectives on the matter but I’m gonna anyways because it’s my blog and I can :). Forgive grammatical errors!

You can be in love with someone and love the person at the same time. There will be cake and ice cream days when you feel like your love makes you superhuman and you can do any and everything. But there will also be broccoli and spinach days when you feel like everything is going wrong and you wonder if you made the right decision because surely “this is not love…I know how I feel when I love someone..I’m happy and they make me happy and I smile and the sun is bright, flowers bloom and birds chirp”. Maybe those broccoli and spinach days are when the true test of love happens..and you either bear down, hold your nose, deaden your taste buds or put some seasoned salt on it and force it down. Because while it doesn’t taste as’s probably better for you..shows you what you are good at..and what you need to work on..and it helps you grow and hopefully grow stronger together.

aside: Facebook is such a double edged sword…it allows people to give others a snapshot into their lives..especially people in relationships and married couples with their “this is the rib of my rib and the bone of my bone” and ”my life is now complete because Chidubem has put me first” notes, pictures and that me I’m here going “FML ! I must be doing something wrong in my life..why is no one trying to claim me as their rib?”…and forgetting that snapshots don’t always tell the story of what reality is…and how much work people have put into themselves and their relationships in order to make it work.

I mean, where exactly is it written that loving someone and being in love with them are ALWAYS mutually exclusive? The whole “I’m in love with someone” feeling or maybe even just the realization of it à la Nice Anon..sometimes catches you unawares..sort of like being blindsided by an 18 wheeler. It crushes you..palms sweaty, shortness of breath, head rush, eyes unable to focus,’s a very Eureka! moment. It’s even better when it’s reciprocated.

Falling in love is similar to the realization that you have fallen out of love with someone but it also includes nausea, disgust and extreme sadness, physical sickness..sometimes, the thought alone of having to face these horrible side effects makes most people stick it out to endure a long bitter life of regret, unhappiness and what ifs?.….some people don’t cheat at this stage..but some do; hoping to fill the emptiness that now resides inside after the eviction of love. Some people stay together for the kids..but even that love, while momentarily sustaining does not heal a decaying heart. There’s also denial..that sneaky little dirty thing!

Falling in love IS a choice..and so is falling out of love…they are both processes…not spontaneous but gradual..over time. If it is reciprocated, then maybe both parties can agree to work on it constantly so that they can STAY in love…regardless of how many broccoli and spinach days they encounter. I think that falling out love can be avoided if both are willing to do the work. And it is far easier to get a divorce, or break up than it is to do the work.

The only love that is constant and unfailing even at our most undeserving is God’s love for us.

Nerd epilogue: I spent the whole week being taught about how mathematics explains why physics is the basis of every process that occurs in chemistry and how chemical processes are what take place in biology..biology being the science of life. Eventhough they’ve figured all this out..and made up their laws..and all processes obey these laws, at no time did anyone explain to me how the same chemistry and biology that are responsible for putting cells together to form organs like the eyes that have the same function in all creatures with eyes..are responsible for putting together the brain which while it has the same function…almost always yields different personalities in billions of different people. Lol @ ppl always trying to explain away God..yet with every class all I am is progressively filled with awe at what MY GOD can do!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Music makes me lose control

I'm totally just bumming it...doing absolutely nothing and enjoying the crap out of it...

Jamming to my -badly-in-need-of-an-update-ipod. Men music is soo awesome!! D'y'all ever focus on certain parts of a song and play it over and over again cuz it's just sooo...touching? Not necessarily deep...sometimes it's cuz of the words..other times it's cuz of the artist's voice/delivery..for example

"I am a fighter..i ain't gon stop..there is no turning back..i've had enough!"--Christina Aguilera's "fighter" i the only one that develops just the most arrogant lil walk when i'm listening to this song? Yea..probably :) LMAO...ppl that see me probably be is wrong with this chick?

"..are you waiting for a special occasion

to give me your heart

cuz i need a little confirmation

to make a real start!!...don't wait till it's too late"

....that's from Fefe Dobson "everything"


"...i have lost the dignity i had before

trying to pleeeeaassee everybody"--Lucky Dube "slave"..sad stuff..


"'s a little too late for you to come back

say it's just a mistake think i'd forgive like that

if you thought i would wait for thought wrong.."--Beyonce "if i were a boy"


"It's's's ovverr this's's oooooovvverrr"--Jesse McCCartney "it's over" as in how many times do I have to say it's over

and for the chops/delivery

Lady Gaga.."Just Dance" ...3:48-3:56 in the video on's not overly showy or christina aguilera-ry but something about when she's screaming "Baybay....BAY....BAY..e..yeah!!" just makes me rewind that part over and over again

Jojo..."Too little too lat"..2:40 to 3:00..the song where she goes.."Yeeahhh...OH Lord (i think she says oh lord)...yeaahh yeah yeah yeah...wooo!..laaaayaaeete....yeah just like the chase baybay!"'s not even's rapping...One of my favorite rappers is Bun B..i think it's just a combination of his voice, how he delivers it and what he's saying... Personally..i think he upstaged Jay-Z on big pimping..then again i'm probably biased..

There's probably a lot more..but that's all i can think i'm getting distracted by the shuffle.. anyone out there care to share their favorite lyrics/delivery?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Open Letter Version 2.0

Dear DirectTV...
Everyday is for the thief and one day is for the owner. I own you son!!! bad i got carried away. Anyway..see me see trouble o, I signed up for directv when i moved to a new place because they were offering lots of orisirisi...6 months of HBO, 3 months of showtime, $200 jetblue gift card, DVR..all for a pretty good deal..or so i thought. All i had to do was sign up for 1 year of service right? So why after my 1 year contract was up did i try to cancel only to find out that while my service contract was for 1 year..the contract with a DVR is 2 years?
Chineke! I'm cancel is $280 and i refuse to pay that on principle..I was duped! hoodwinked! Bamboozled! NO FAIR.
Sooo..i called my new place and asked if i was allowed to have a dish and they said's a safety hazard. So what did i do? I called Directv and scheduled a free move..with 3 months of showtime and starz included!
Ol' installation dude shows up and is not allowed to set he calls me
Ol' : hi, you know you're not allowed to have directv in this apartment right?
Me: Huh? No..what do you mean? I can't talk right now..i'm moving!
Ol':well you need to call directv blah blah blah
Me: I can't talk right now..have them call me
So they call me and I pretty much play dumb again.

This story is getting long sha...basic gist..i call them back two days later..they finally agree that there's no "line of sight" so even if i wanted to get dish..i can't. Through no fault of my own.:innocent my contract has to be cancelled and I dont have to pay no stinking $280. Boooyah!!

Dear Houston,TX.
Why you gotta be so damn hot? From the moment i stepped off the plane..all i wanted was a strawberry slush and a cold cold shower!! WHY? JUST FREAKING WHY? NO air!! Men...however...I did/am having a fabulous time chilling with the neph! he is the cutest thing since ever..he used to have a fauxhawk but he cut it all off now he has this grown man look to him. He's soooo smart too..and he has rhythm.

Dear *bad* lacefront wig houston,tx wearers..(emphasis on bad because not all of them are bad),
Yes..nobody died and made me fashion sef i'm a fashion victim most of the time but damn!! I mean if you're going to have that thing on your least put some effort into making it look..i'm not even going to say real..because..c'mon.. PRESENTABLE. I just weak! Take a something! PLEASE...AND THANK YOU!. Then's probably just me being a carry on.

Dear fake ass mothersuckers in houston,tx..,
you know yourself and i wish i could expose your multiple wife having, system duping, every opportunity to lick ass having selves because i have absolutely zero respect for you. Ppl that you'd never see or associate with all of a sudden showing up at your house because they want to be seen/rub elbows with "influential" ppl..and you are eating the food i lovingly prepared for family and friends..c'mon TA! gbafuo ndi nzuzu!

Um....I've been so out of the blog world loop..i will try to make my rounds when i return back to the real world.