Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I'm sorry

I know it's a new year and all that good stuff and maybe i should not start the new year with you say.."angry thoughts?". But I'm just feeling kinda um..upset. Just a little bit...and maybe a little homicidal as well.

I love being Nigerian..that's part of my foundation and part of what makes me who I am. And maybe I'm a hypocrite/all mouth and stuff when it comes to actually making any grand patriotic gestures. And quite frankly I haven't really been keeping up with the whole terrorist thing..partially because I don't really feel like I have extra time to be sifting through all the information out there to figure out what is true and what isn't...not until today.

But the real reason is because I am truly just so frustrated about everything "Nigerian" possibly everything "human" but the things that actually pissed me off are totally unrelated and related to Nigerians so there you have it.

First, the terrorist kini/ Nigeria being put on the watch list. No I don't think it's fair but quite frankly what can we do about it? When Michael Moore put Nigerians in his movie and named their cockroach alien eating leader Obesandjo or whatever and we were all up in you think Michael Moore's lard ass lost 1 ounce of fat worrying about what Nigeria thought?
What effect does the Nigerian senate think an ultimatum will have on the United States? Yes putting Nigeria on the watch list is unfair, but shouldn't our next move be trying to work with the United States strengthen our relationship by resolving to ensure that our security screenings are stricter? What is being defensive going to do for us?

Second, where in the hell is our "president"? Seriously...SERIOUSLY!!! I mean, ok fine you are ill or whatever, shouldn't the vice president be the next in command. Just goes to prove that the president is really just a figure head. I've said it a million times...all those people, president, vice president, government officials,senators, and most governors should be put on a ship (the SS Homicide) with one day's worth of food and sent off on the ocean. When they are too far off to swim back..drop a missile..let them all just go to the bottom of the ocean because they are just useless, worthless things.

I know that things are changing..I know that I'm not in a position to even talk but it's so frustrating. And yes maybe the younger generation can do something but by the time you cut through all the nepotism and corruption and bullshit..even if you get to the point where you can make any real changes unjaded and uninfluenced, there will always be people trying to stop you from doing what is right.

Third, some Nigerians enh..sometimes we are our own worst enemies. This year..this new born year..I've just witnessed a lot of venomous actions/reactions that make me scratch my head. Some nigerians just cannot keep their damn opinions to themselves. I was reading linda ikeji's blog and she posted pictures of herself in a black dress and some sandals..anonymous ppl who are definitely Nigerian because of how they write, just leave this horrible comments. Look anonymous fools..if you have the guts to say what is on your mind..hateful and retarded as it is..have the balls to put ya name on it na. Why do you have to comment at all? Just read and be disgusted privately to yourself. Why comment? Who cares about what you think.

Let's not even talk about hateful people on discussion boards that will remain nameless because it just doesn't even deserve any attention so let's not give it. How do you expect other people to treat you if you cannot treat your own fellow man with some level of respect? I've never felt so ashamed as when i read someone's comment to the effect of "and these are supposed to be the future mothers of our children". I felt that..I felt ashamed because at the very least I'm guilty by association.

My fellow Nigerians, I'm just venting and there is no moral of the story. The blame falls squarely my shoulders for allowing things to degenerate to this level. So hunker down folks. Make sure you get to the airport extra early. Pack light, dress warm, and be patient because it's going to be a long, long nightmarish flight from here on out. No you cannot bring egusi,garri or any other foreign looking foods because it will most likely not make it through. Yes you have to buy your ogbono from the African store and it may taste like soap.

I feel torn between what I should be doing and what I want to do. And because it's more practical and realistic to continue what I should be doing..what I want to do will probably never get done.

I'm also sorry that my only solution involves homicide.

Sighs... I think in this blog I've gone through a range of emotions..anger mostly, then sadness, then hopelessness and now...back to HOPE!!!!

Because where there is life there is HOPE and if I can't do any grand sweeping gestures to bring about rapid and positive change globally, I can try to be the best ME i can be..the best Christian, daughter,granddaughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, aunt, student,driver,roommate,niece,blogger that i can be. Shikena!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Taking Stock 2010 -1

Happy New Year people. I wish for everyone...good health, lots of happiness, lots of inspiration and lots of success..Ami Ami!!!!!

Yes people..i am late. but I also kinda feel like i'm not yet mentally in 2010. Yes I will copy copy and follow follow!! I'mma try and do this stolen post justice by being as honest and open as i can..:)

I definitely waxed and waned on this one. It's like Paul said in Romans..." I want to do good, but I find that I end up doing the evil that i don't want to do instead of the good that i want to do"...or something along those lines. I had some good months where i steadfast about everything...although I confess that I didn't go to church as much as I would have liked to and would like to change that this year.All in all sha..God remains faithful and I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My prayer everyday is for God to give me enough strength to go through just that one day as the best person I can be..
My goal for 2010 is to 1. Actually read the bible cover to cover 2. Go to church more 3. Continue to grow as a christian

I loves my fam. Immediate and extended. I say often that our relationship grew better as we all finished school and spread across the country. Lol..but I wouldn't trade any of them crazy girls for anyone else. All 4 of em. :D I would do anything for them girls. My parents and I have a pretty good relationship i think. Definitely a growing relationship but I have come to accept them as human and realize that they too can make mistakes. With the arrival of my first nephew I realized that my sister is a great mommy and my parents are great grans and I'm trying to be the best darn aunt i can be. My goal for 2010 is to keep in touch better with my extended family wherever they are. I think I'm the only one on the planet that doesn't have peezy.


See that word friendship got some feelings hurt in the '09. I think it's really hard for me to make new friends mainly because i am shy and introverted :D *blush*. Unless I'm forced to..i probably wouldn't put myself out there to make new friends. I'm glad to say that in the '09..i made some new friends..and didn't lose any friends and I got out of making some bad friend decisions thankfully. My goal in '010 once again is to keep in touch better with my friends which shouldn't be hard to do..i don't have that many.


I admit that i'm not really conscious about my finances..i work/go to school..get my some..and use the rest to live. As long as I am saving money every month, I usually don't pay too much attention. My goal was to go back to school with minimum debt so other than my student loans and my car note I don't have any major gbese. My goal for 2010 is to save more!

I decided to go back to school in '09 for a host of reasons. My main concern was not wanting any extra loans..and getting into a school that would justify me leaving my awesome job. But with the economic crisis ..turns out even my job wasn't that stable anymore. As God would have it...I ended up getting into some of the top schools in the world for my program..and they're paying for it! *does a jig* I also got to move to a new state...which is always nice. My goal for 2010 is to finish my 1st year of grad school intact and pass my oral exams in Jesus name!!

I think that my relationship had a good year. Definitely the most comfortable I've been in a relationship. Also the longest I've been in a relationship. Once we decided to just dig in our heels and resolved to make things work..and once I learned to let go of some things..I think I got a lot happier. I'm excited for what 2010 has to bring and my goal is to just keep working at it.


Ahem...Ok so i pride myself is having this amazing immune system. But towards the end of the year..i had some supposed stress related issues that are working themselves out. The funny thing is that i don't even think i'm that stressed out anymore. But God dey. Before I stopped working..i made sure to get all my medical stuff taken care of. As far as physical health..ahem..ok..i honestly actually like working out..I also just like eating :D. I've just never really put the eating well/working out plan together and been consistent at it. My goal for 2010 is to get some washboard ab situation going :D


I don't think i'm addicted to anything per se. I think the internet is the ultimate time waster and i need to limit my exposure to it. My number one bad habit is procrastination. I have tried making to do lists and that helps me because I get pretty disappointed when i don't accomplish all the tasks on my list. And consistency..being consistent with stuff..
Social life ke? I have no life during the week consists of school, lab and studying..during the weekends if I'm lucky not to have much to study for, I'm trying to recuperate for the week. I'm not really into partying as soon as it got cold everything went by the wayside.
My goal for 2010 is to limit my access to facebook. Only go on the internet when I need to and when I'm done studying and to explore more.

There you have it.
Hope everyone had a wonderful new year's eve. I'm thankful for every single one of ya and y'alls comments and such and like i said before..I which you all a wonderful year with all God's blessing and trimmings!!