Monday, June 21, 2010

...running through my head..all the things she said

So...I don't think i celebrated my 100th post..but this one is my 200th!! Yay!!...

I think I'll make it a random blog..

One of the perks of living in The Wire country...I definitely see firsthand what an ankle monitoring bracelet looks like..*like I've ever wondered* wa oh..see this dude just jejely stepping out of the train with his summer shorts on and his lil bracelet like it was nothing...not even trying to lindsaylohan it. I just stared...

One of the downsides of living in The Wire country...weirdo central..why do all the weirdos/shady looking ppl/crazies/sleazy ass men/disgustos/pervs gravitate towards me?
If it's not some dude in a wheelchair offering to give me ride if i sit in his lap, it's a schizophrenic "pastor" offering to take me to his church for "counseling". The new thing is all the cab drivers who all happen to be igbo..and now apparently all know my name and still...STILL feel the need to do that hissing calling thing..i'm over it!

Dear Baltimore...a pick up line that starts with you telling me either that you are currently on the run from your home state of North Carolina because your soon to be ex-wife filed an assault claim against you that led to a warrant...OR that starts with you telling me about your two kids and their mommas...WILL never..EVER..end with me giving you my number!!

I decided..finally to start back on my healthy living regimen...for the 100th time..and the only reason i'm even talking about it is so that hopefully it will keep me honest to verbalize it. I'm competing with my mom and my sister to see who will win. Naturally, I will..obviously but let's not tell them that.:)There are no losers..only winners..and technically even the winners would be losers..hehe dry joke! So far it's been good..I definitely see a difference!

One of my favorite hobbies is...facebook stalking *hangs head in shame* I know i know...but seriously..i was looking through someone's facebook pictures and it turns out she has friends in common with a friend of mine...said friend being someone who i've had an "interesting" past in my head i cringed slightly..then i decided that I'm of too little importance to think that they might possibly talk about me.

Ppl who know me know that I don't shy away from confrontation..when i have to but I'd just rather avoid it. What i do hate is when you meet people who supposedly have beef with you and they pretend there's nothing wrong..I'd rather you ignore me..or kick my ass than kiss me..that's just me.

Life is interesting...not MY life..mine is as boring and routine as it comes..but I LOVE IT. I'd rather live vicariously through those around me. I don't think I'd ever look back and be like.."men, i wished i partied more, drank more, filled my life with more drama..etc"

The one thing i do wish I'd have done more of by now is travel more..definitely. I'd love to do the Europe thing, the Africa thing, the South America thing, the Asia thing...meh..all in good time.

Even though i know everyone's journey is different, it's not easy not to compare my life to other"if i'd chosen a different path..I'd be done with school by now" or "if i had gone straight to grad school rather than taking that time to work..i'd be done with school forever by now..or close"..etc..but that's life abi?.. moments not milestones and alladat.

It's interesting the way people think/conclusions they draw by looking at you...ex:
I have a batman lunchbox..(SUE ME I LOVE BATMAN!) I must have a son..even if i had a kid..why can't she be a girl and why cant she love batman?

I work at "my school" I must be a nurse..Why can't i be a doctor?

I'm I must be a new employee at the animal facilities..why can't i just be a student coming to harvest some mice?

I recently wrote an angry letter to my cousins in naija...well i don't think it was angry..i think it was brutally honest..but they didn't seem to find it funny...hellificare!! As long as you get the message.

You know what population i'm currently hating on? Skinny chicks with big WTF? How is that fair? I confess that I was totally hating on my friend who stayed with me recently with her nice boobs and nice booty with nice long legs to (great now she'll think i'm gay) and she's freaking smart too and pretty and light skinned and a good dancer! Ugh!! I hate a lot!! :) dont have it either have (1) nice boobs and no booty ..(2) booty and just ok boobs or (3)nice legs and no booty or boobs or (4)you can just be petite with no boobs and no booty.... I know for sure my boobs are nothing I'm just going to settle for being healthy HOW ABOUT THAT? just healthy!! hmmpfff!!

What say ye folks? Do you feel me on the skinny chics with big boobs or am i just once again subscribing to what society deems to be beautiful?

That's all she wrote folks!
Enjoy the rest of your week...

Friday, June 11, 2010

I don't want us to be the end of me....


I know it's not just me...cuz Mgbeks don addressed it already..but everybody seems to be getting hitched and wanting you (read: me) to know about it. And I'm completely happy for each and everyone of them...shoutout to Melanie and Keith getting married tomorrow!!

I, Kate suffer from bouts of "when-will-it-be-my-turnitis".
I'll be the first one to admit that there are a list of logical reasons why I'm probably not ready to get married...ranging from financial to educational but dang...can we put a ring on it? My finger and my eggs are shriveling as we speak :)....CALM DOWN...i'm just being dramatic for effect.

I kinda feel like this post will jinx me but I don't believe in jinxes *maybe a little*.
But if i were to be completely open and honest with myself sometimes (not all the time)...I feel that I'm not emotionally ready to get married cuz..

- I have this image of myself in my head of who I'm meant to be abi who I want to be and I don't think I'm there yet. I'm working on it and I know I've changed. Recently, one of my friends was like "Mehn Kate you've changed...I used to pray for you because I thought you'd never change and you'd be alone" *I tried to take it as a compliment*

- From my teenage years through my early 20s..I was a pretty angry, easily disillusioned chic terribly afraid of failure to the point where i figured if i never tried..then i couldn't fail. And since the last thing I'd ever want to fail at was a marriage...why try at all?

- I'm still afraid of failure..but I believe that life is about choices...I choose to love, I choose to be in love and I choose to be present in a relationship and I choose to try my hardest to make it work...and everything I can't control...I put in God's hands and TRY not to worry about it.

- The thing is...where do you draw the line with regards to compromising who you are and what you want out of life just to "make it work"?. I've been accused of being "too nice" and bottling up things just to keep the peace..but I usually can't do it for long and when I reach tipping's all bad and I feel like I'm back at square one...again

- I know Love is patient, kind, does not keep record of wrongdoing...etc.
But as an evolving being, I know that I personally sometimes (unknowingly) expect my other to fill a void in my life that they cannot and are not meant to. And when they don't I get impatient and unkind and begin keeping record of wrongdoings..

Because of all these things, I sometimes feel like I'm still a work in progress and as such..not particularly ready to get of my friends believes however that you're not necessarily supposed to be "perfect" before you make that commitment...and you should be able and willing to work through individual issues together in the relationship....I can dig that logic but I also feel like marriage and all that will bring on its own share of issues so why not go into it as issueless as possible. I'm definitely an advocate of premarital counseling..

I'm a slacker I know it...I should be done with my list especially since I'm done with classes so i really have nothing to study for but admit i actually forgot that I had a blog for a while there...

shey y'all are ok out there in Bloogville?


does anyone else get really upset when commercials get abruptly interrupted by another random one? I'm like I want to know what exactly you were trying to sell me!!!

does anyone watch Stargate Universe:SGU?.OMG Season Finale!!!sooo good!.ok...I'm a weirdo! I get it...