Scream!!!***

Random stuff...
Sighs...so i'm watching Jon & Kate plus 8 and they just showed the kids 5th birthday. Jon and Kate are pretty much not speaking to each other. It hurts me..like my heart hurts... It goes back to my cheating question. I've heard Jon say something about "the grass being greener". I'm sorry..i dont get it, i just don't.
Even if nothing happened..just the fact that you put yourself in that situation. He seems so nonchalant...maybe i'm being really hard on him and looking at it from the woman's perspective.
He wants to quit the show..she doesn't because she doesn't think it will solve anything or fix the situation...AND because they have no other source of income.
How do you go on from something like this? How do you move past it.

The Nigerian in me...maybe the christian in me just believes that they need to turn back to God. It's just awkward..even for me watching. My prayer..and I will pray everyday for them..is that they fix their problems and stay together as a family. Amen

In other news..in the same vein
I hate self-help books. I believe that the only self-help book i need is the bible. I've read a couple.."Who moved my cheese" and "The Alchemist" at different stages in my life and I like them because they are short and sweet but the message resonates. However, lately, i've been noticing a slight change in my general persona/outlook on life. I think it slowly crept up on me. I think i'm overly worried and concerned about things going on in my life...about my future...my relationships etc. So I picked up another "self-help" book "Don't sweat the small stuff..and it's all small stuff". At first, I was reading it like a novel and i realized that I wasn't really absorbing it. So i decided to read a chapter or two a day. I think that definitely helped me. And when i start sweating the small stuff...i try and remember to apply what i've read that day.
I'm in a sharing mood so i'll highlight what i've learned so far.
1. Don't sweat the small stuff: don't get worked up about things that are really not that big a deal.sounds easy enough eh?...we'll see how that goes
2. Make peace with imperfection..i think i've long given up attempting to be perfect..next!
3. Let go of the idea that gentle, relaxed people can't be superacheivers:never thought that sha
4. Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking: I am soooo guilty of this..i think.."well what if i do this..or this happens...and that just develops into a whole messy situation...and this all happens within the walls of my mind, sometimes it escapes and causes even more trouble. His advice is to notice when this is happening before your thoughts build momentum and will yourself to stop. Trust me..i tried that this weekend..i promise it works! He goes on to say, you may indeed be a busy person, but remember that filling your head with thoughts of how overwhelmed you are only exacerbates the problem by making you feel even more overwhelmed.
5. Develop your compassion: willingness to put yourself in someone else's shoes. will try to work on that for real
6. Remind yourself that when you die, your "in basket"wont be empty: i guess basically, dont kill yourself trying to accomplish all your tasks..cuz new tasks will always replace them. will work on that too!
7. Dont interrupt others or finish their sentences: dont think i do that.
8. Do something nice for someone else--and dont tell anyone about it: i used to do this a lot..like that one time i...(ha! thought i was gonna tell didn't ya?)
9. Let others have the glory: i think i do that
10. Learn to live in the present moment: this one got me..i dont often do that...i worry about things that might happen and i let that affect how i react in the present. He went on to quote the serenity prayer..which i admit i used to think was lame..but in this context...i say it often during the day.. mainly just the "Dear God...Change things i can..Accept the things I cannot change...wisdom to know the difference" and also Mark Twain " I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened"..lol..

So i've decided to live in the present, and not let past problems or future concerns to dominate my present moment. Good things will happen..i'll accept them. Bad things will happen..i'll deal with them as best as I can. Worrying about them is not going to change that. But as i remember not to sweat the small stuff...I hope that I'll be able to deal with the bad things much better. All things work for the good of them that love Him abi?

Hope everyone had a wonderful relaxing long weekend....and is not already worrying about the stress of tomorrow... tomorrow can bring it on...we'll take it..whatever it maybe.

Gnite folks!

Fuck Cosmo!

..or something drastic like that.

Hi NiceAnon!! :)
So....i was gonna blog about Part Deux, but i got sidetracked by stuff in April 2009's cosmo. (not mine....i stopped subscribing after i realized that it wasn't helping me find a man).
I'm sorry, I'm a girl and I grew up with 3 sisters and no brothers. My interaction with the male species consisted of my father telling us.. (as we gazed at other kids playing outside from our bedroom window)...to stay away from those "hopeless boys" lol. My daddy!
Ok that doesn't count as interaction, I guess my real interaction was in 2008. Lol, i'm kidding gosh! i'm not some hermit weirdo..(well...not anymore :D)My interaction with this strange male species has been more than some but less than most and mostly good. I know i've talked about BOYS before, that's not the purpose of this here post. Can my fellow blogworlders help me better understand some of these statements from men..about men.
Are any of these "reasons" valid?
CASE 1: 8 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Reason #1: For payback..girl was texting her ex (harmless he claims), dude got pissed and cheated. No comment but is this really a valid reason?
Reason #2: The physical attraction just isn't there: So WHY ARE YOU STILL DATING HER? Reason #3: She just isn't there: See scream @ #2
Reason #4: He thinks he's missing out: um...this is actually a scary one...anyone?
Reason #5: He's moved on emotionally
Reason #6: There's too much fighting
Reason #7: He needs a shot of self-esteem
Reason #8: To fulfill a fantasy
I know life is not perfect and it's not ok to generalize because not everyone is like that..but these reasons were listed by guys..so that means that at least one other guy out there agrees/ thinks that one of these reasons is ok/justifiable...

If i could i would scream from all the mountain tops...Why can we not all just be upfront and honest with our feelings and what we want/don't want at all times?

*i confess...this is an old post that i just never got around to finishing".....Hi blogworld..shey everybody is doing ok?

"Games..Changes and Fears..(Part Un: Fears)

I totally meant to post this yesterday....my bad...Mgbeks how you gon be smheee @ me? you suppose understand. Roc, NiceAnon and RepressedOne aka BlogdeserterforanewblogthatKatedoesnothaveaccessto (yes i called you out..what you gon do bout it? :)...here ya go
*********************************************************************
..when will they go from here? When will they stop?" - Macy Gray

I'm not even gonna try to approach this issue from a broad perspective. Sometimes, I find that some things you think are so personal and so unique to your situation turn out to be not so unique.....therefore......

I went through this phase where I never wanted to get married AKA the teenage years
- My parents I think, are typical naija parents...well for the most part I guess. None of that "honey" "baby" "sweetie" stuff. Don't think I've ever heard them say "I love you" even...well maybe my mom...my mom is the bubbly outgoing one and my dad is the shy,quiet introverted one. They'd argue in front of us, but I don't think I ever witnessed them resolving their arguments (i must not have been a very perceptive child and i had my own issues). We moved from naija right as I was getting cozy in teenagedom and it was a truly stressful time for all of us (READ: it was HELL!). I know I definitely snapped, argued with my parents a lot.stayed in my room all day and listened to ROCK and HEAVY METAL (READ: Korn and Marilyn Manson)..i don't think i liked them very much (my parents that is)..
So I decided then that I never wanted to get married..or have kids because I didn't ever want to have to depend on someone else for my happiness or make any one else unhappy.
And then one day..like someone turned on the lights in my head I came to a very obvious realization: "My parents..like everyone else are human and predisposed to err"! Whodathunk huh? Accepting this made it easier for me to see past them being my parents to them being human, take all the good parts of their relationship and learn from the bad.
From my parents, I decided that

• I want a partner who loves his family
• I want a partner who puts his family first
• I want a partner who is trusting and trustworthy
• I want a partner who is dependable
• I want a partner who is open to communication and conflict resolution
• I want a partner who is willing to do all in his power to ensure that they/we are healthy and happy and comfortable kinda like my Daddy :)

And in return

• I want to be a partner who is supportive
• I want to be a partner who is patient and willing to work through problems
• I want to be a partner who is trusting and trustworthy
• I want to be a partner who listens
• I pretty much just want to be a strong, God-fearing, loving kind woman just like my momma :) who has the biggest..biggest heart I've ever..ever seen!

Stalker said what...?

So i live in a dead little town and there's not much to do here

btw..*disclaimer..i'm not a stalker...i just needed a catchy title*
My only friend close enough to hangout at the drop of a hat and I often go for happy hour...I watch her drink...of course i dont drink...naturally :D *quiet you*!
But so..when i do drink..one drink gets me tipsy..like today. We went to Outback Steakhouse and they have this Strawberry Passion-tini? I think that's what it's called...it has:

Fresh Strawberries(pureed)
Disarono Amaretto
Skyy Citrus Vodka
and X-rated fusion liquer...

sooooo good and soooo potent.

Anyhoo..at this Outback works a very,very..extremely sexy waiter..I mean..he looks like Scott Speedman's twin...for real..i'm not joking.

..sighs..takes a moment..
Ok, sha sha..we go there maybe once every couple of months but we've only seen him three times..this time being #3. The first time...we went pretty late and we sat in his section so it was pretty much empty when we got there..so he had time to sit and chat with us..he made me a special dessert...I was freaking enamoured...entranced..sp? And I also found out his life story...moved here from Cali to go to high school..cuz his fam moved (who does that?)and then they moved back but he stayed cuz of his girlfriend/fiancee(whatever!) and is going to police academy whilst waitering on the side...gosh...he's so hot!
Anyway...i think my meal was about $25 and i left a $23 tip! lol..(this was waaay before the recession sha...now man pikin no fit abeg...i got bills!...plus he wasn't our waiter tonight).
But he did stop by and say hi and we chatted...he just passed his exam so now he can actually go on police car ride thingies..whatever they are called..PATROL! yeah patrol..really close by. He promised to let me know when he'll start working so i can accidentally on purpose like get a ticket or something...:)
Anyway...i think that night..in my tipsy state..i said the corniest thing ever..something like "I just want you to know that I'm glad you exist" or something stupid...smh..i'm a mess.

...I'm it!

1. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
2. They have to be real….nothing made up! if the person before you had the same first initial,you must use different answers.
3. You cannot use any word twice and you cant use your name for the boy/girl question.
4. Don’t google your answers.
5. Make it as interesting and fun as you can.

1.What is your name: Kate

2. A four Letter Word: King...(K is hard you know!!)

3. A boy's Name: Kola

4. A girl's Name: Kemi

5. An occupation: Koala Keeper (do i get two points for doubling up?:)

6. A color: Kumquat (*shakes fist and dares ppl to challenge*)

7. Something you'll wear: Knit top
8. Kumbaya

9. A food: Kuli Kuli

10. Something found in the bathroom: Knife (yes..there's a knife in my bathroom)

11. A place: Kigali

12. A reason for being late: Killed a deer with my car

13. Something you'd shout: Ki lon sele!!!

14. A movie title: Kiss the Girls (HA!!! yes!!! i found one)

15. Something you drink: Koconut milk :D

16. A musical group: KC and Jojo and the sunshine band
17. An animal: Koala..duh!

18. A street name: Kings way

19. A type of car: Krap...there are no K cars...:(

20. The title of a song: Knocking on heaven's door

I dont tag ppl..but feel free to do it as the spirit moves ya!

Back to Life..back to reality

LOL @ Nice Anon the private blog haver talking 'bout update!!

I just spent..a glorious 48+ hours off/on with my beautiful baby nephew and I did not want to come back to the real world AT ALL.
You dont understand...I love this lil guy!! His smile lights up my life. He has three dimples just like his Aunty..and he is sooo brilliant! I make him laugh! HA! take that other aunties! Then again..he might be laughing at me not with me...hmmm.
I miss him!!
*****REALITY*****
I have a real big problem with managment. Now...i'm not a rabble rouser or nothing. But if you get me going...I might just go off the deep end and let them really know what's on my mind. If they fire me, I can collect unemployment for a whole year :D

In the last two weeks, I haven't felt the urge to work out. Not good. My june goal is in jeopardy...

I think all the delays...at the airport, on the plane and in the air that happens whenever I fly, is God's way of teaching me patience.

I go through these phases where the things that used to jazz me just ain't doing the job no' more.

I'm really feeling like it's time for me to move and find new cheese...and I cant wait.

The more i think about it, the more it becomes possible..it is possible..all things are possible with God.

On Going Private

No..not me!
Aight...so I am guilty of reading peoples blogs and not commenting. Sue me..shoot me..whatever...but I have my reasons.
1. I'm lazy and I have bad memory: honestly..half the blogs i visit, I find through blogs that have them listed as blogs they follow..and when I'm bored i have a habit of just scrolling down to see who else out there is blogging about anything that might tickle my fancy. Even if I find the blog interesting..which 93% of the time I do, I never blogroll it because I'm lazy..i always pray that the next time i crave reading that blog, i remember all the blogs i went through to get there.
...guess that's really not a good excuse
2. I really only comment when I feel that i have something of substance to contribute..most of the time: not to say that ppl that comment don't, I just usually can't bring myself to type something random and meaningless just to "mark attendance" that plus i don't think I'm witty enough on the spot..gotta let stuff marinate...maybe that is a part of blog etiquette that I haven't learned
3. I dont like to "feel familiar"...yes i am encroaching on your public private personal space..but in all honesty/fairness, i dont know you and you dont know me...so "why should I try to "feel familiar" when i'd probably pass you on the street and not know who you are?" is the logic in my head...plus I fear that getting to know the person will take away my perception of them in my head and I'm not comfortable with that...maybe i dont live in the realworld but that's why i'm in blogville duh!
4. I am shy...sometimes, I really just have to work my way up to being confident enough to comment... my blog personality is my real personality is my everyday personality...

5. Yes I do have some blogs on my blogroll..but I dont feel like explaining why that doesn't negate some of my other reasons.

I'm always a little hurt when a blog that i read goes private..I mostly get over it and find another blog to read..the cycle continues. Of course ppls reasons for going private may have absolutely nothing to do with me or the likes of me but I just had to get that off my chest. For all the blogs I've wormed my way into and left after i have read to satisfaction without commenting, ...I apologize. I guess the solution would be to go private